five star

welcome to the hotel, sir. I hope you enjoy your stay.
I have a top-floor suite reserved, fully stocked.
I'm sorry, the top floor is. . . inaccessible.
you mean the elevator is out?
well, the stairs too. . . I'm afraid.
how odd.
we have a very nice room on the first floor though.
carpeted?
er, no. but very nice wooden planks.
stocked bar?
not today, I'm afraid. but the river is very close by.
how's the air conditioning?
air conditioning? it should be. . . quite breezy. that is, if the, you know, boards, have been removed from the window openings.
maybe I should check this room out for myself.
certainly. but watch for the holes in the floor.
holes?
after all, your comfort and safety are the top priority of this establishment.
glad to hear it.
no problem, sir.