Bereaved - In memorium

By StoneRoad2013 ^club

23 Mar 2024 - 53 comments | Translate title into English

In the wee small hours of 7th January 2019, my wonderful father died.
May his katra Rest In Peace.
~~~~
Birthday memories ...
23rd March 2024 - where have the past five years gone ? they went past in what seems to have been a brief flash, on waking this morning I didn't feel quite as bereft as I usually do at this time of year. Sleep well Patro, I miss you !
e2aa - Somewhat similar to what happened last year, four years seems to have passed in a brief flash and this morning I felt the loss very keenly.
E2A - This morning I awoke to feelings that the last three years seem like yesterday, not that I slept particularly well.
[This is a very personal sense of loss and I am not decrying all the suffering and deaths from the pandemic, quite the opposite]
I typed my first version of this before dawn on 7th Jan 2022, deleted it and tried again.

It would have been his 103rd birthday on 23rd March 2022 (1919 to 2019) and I doubt he would have managed to get to 104 [23rd March 2023] ...

Father's Day in the UK on 18th June 2023. Always a sad day, I miss the opportunity to send himself some bad esperanto in an humourous card.
~~~~

this links to an image

www.ipernity.com/doc/312383/47955110

in my photos entitled "CAS - esperantist"

(which was in the Ipernity Frontpage and What's Hot group on 3rd March 2019)

My wonderful father has died. His heart finally wound down this morning at about 0315-20 on 7th January 2019.

He managed 99 years 9 months and 15 days.

I'm trying to remember all the very many good times, but I'm having a hard time through my tears.

At least he went peacefully, just slipped away.

I had been called in by the hospital, and I'm so glad I stayed overnight, with time to say goodbye.

~~~~
Funeral details:

13:30 at the Crematorium, Bangor, North Wales and afterwards at the Russell Tea Room, Welsh Highland Heritage Railway, Porthmadog, North Wales.
The In Memorium collection will be for the Middleton Railway Trust, Leeds.
~~~~

It was my birthday yesterday [6th September] and that made me miss him all over again.
My mother's birthday would have been on 29th September [ had she lived beyond 1982, she could have reached the grand age of 97 this year ]. I miss her as much as I miss my father.

~~~~~

19th June 2022 & 20th June 2021 - It is Father's Day in the UK today. Seems to have hit me rather harder than I expected. So grieving a bit more than the usual.
What I've missed most is the chance to send him a silly card and some bad esperanto to cheer him up.

~~~~

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~~~~

Gregory Garrett, ☕ BrunoT ☕ have particularly liked this article

53 comments - The latest ones

Stormlizard ^club

My sincere condolences Sara.

He had a god innings, only 2½ months short of the Centuy.

John.

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Stormlizard ^club

Thank you, John.

He saw a great many changes in such a long life.

5 years ago.

Bee Orchid

So sorry to see this news. I know exactly how you feel. [[Hugs]]

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Bee Orchid

Thanks, Fran, as I know you've also had to go through similar. {{ Hugs }} returned.

5 years ago.

Maeluk ^club

I am sorry I know how it feels. I hope you manage to remember the better times.

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Maeluk ^club

Thank you.

Just starting to find the happy memories again

5 years ago.

Jenny McIntyre ^club

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Such a shame he almost reached 100. It was good for you as it was no doubt for him, that you were there when he passed.. My father died when he was only 56 and I had no idea he was close to going, and so I wasn't there for his passing. I still miss him even though it was in 1971. My heart goes out to you at this terribly sad time.

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Jenny McIntyre ^club

Thank you, Jenny.

Parents always go too soon, even when they've had a good innings. My mam died when she only 58, in 1982. Sometimes I am reminded of her and miss being able to tell her things.

5 years ago.

Mickey fez

So sad losing a loved one is heartbreaking.i8n time you will remember the good times with a smile but it does take time for the emotions to run their course,

5 years ago.

Peggy C ^club

Sara, He will always be close to you - next to your heart.
Put your hand there -- you will feel him.
Peggy

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Peggy C ^club

Thank you, Peggy.

You are quite right, I'm currently populating the hole he's left with my happy memories of him.

5 years ago.

Valfal

My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved father. Though it was great to have him with you for over 99 years, it doesn't make his death any less painful to bear (maybe in fact it's more painful). One consolation is that you had a chance to be with him at the very end. It will help you heal faster. My heart goes out to you.

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Valfal

Thank you, Valfal

5 years ago.

Sami Serola (inactiv… ^club

My condolences, Sara.

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Sami Serola (inactiv… ^club

Thank you, Sami

5 years ago.

Stormlizard ^club

The link does not work Sara.

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Stormlizard ^club

Thanks, John. I've amended the link, it should have been ...
www.ipernity.com/doc/312383/47955110

5 years ago. Edited 5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club

Back home about an hour ago.

Completely shattered emotionally.

The committal at the crematorium was quiet but fitting, which is not surprising as I wrote a lot of it, although OH did most of the actual organising. Mid week and some snowy roads meant that a few of the expected people were unable to attend.

The Wake was also quiet, more than enough food.

And they brought "Russell" a1906 built Hunslet down to the station for the wake. I got a lift back to the shed on the footplate and I cried my eyes out on the way.

Before we set off for home, I bought a white rose and a Rhubarb crown, they will get potted up in a few days (assuming it doesn't stay frozen). Weather was very foggy for part of the journey

5 years ago.

HaarFager ^club

My extreme condolences to the family. I'm so sorry for your loss.

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to HaarFager ^club

Thank You, HaarFager

5 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club

May Day (2020) - this was a day my father usually celebrated by trying to teach me the words to the "Red Flag" ...

4 years ago.

Old Owl ^club has replied to StoneRoad2013 ^club

I hope you still know them and sing it on this auspicious day, Sara. I imagine your dad would have been singing them extra loudly today when all good men should come to the aid of the party.

4 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Old Owl ^club

Unfortunately, I can't sing and can only really remember the following ...

"The people's flag is deepest red,
It shrouded oft our martyred dead
And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold,
Their hearts' blood dyed its every fold.

So raise the scarlet standard high,
Beneath its shade we'll live and die,
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the red flag flying here."

...

4 years ago.

Bee Orchid

I can relate. My Mum's Birthday is coming up next month, and it does bring home that they're no longer with us [hugs]

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Bee Orchid

Thank You, Fran.
Best wishes, as always, and especially next month.

3 years ago.

Mickey fez

A sad time for you.
When I lost m,y beloved Margaret and my Dad within 12 months I was crushed and it took me a long time to come out of a deep depression.
day by day things will ease a little but there is no quick fix

Hugs

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Mickey fez

Thank You, Mickey.
I appreciate the sentiments you must feel only too well.
They say "Time is a great healer", maybe it is, but it still has to pass.

Have a cwtch back at ya !

3 years ago.

Jenny McIntyre ^club

I'm so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that your dad lived for almost 100 years. The pain never goes away, I lost my dad 50 years ago, and I still miss him very much. My mum died 19 years ago on 4th September 2001. I miss her terribly as we had so much more time together. Never try to hold things in, it's good to show your feelings. Virtual hugs being sent. Also - a happy birthday for today - your dad wouldn't want you to forego your birthday celebrations.

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club

Thank you, Jenny.
I'm sorry for your losses, as people say "Time Heals" but you sometimes feel a loss more keenly than at other times, even many years later.
And you're quite right, Dad would have enjoyed hearing about my birthday adventures.

3 years ago.

William Sutherland ^club

My deepest condolences for your loss. May you always remember him and find comfort he still lives and one day you will be re united. Stay strong.

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to William Sutherland ^club

Thank You William.
Time is a great healer, but somethings & times still have the power to sharply remind me of the loss. The same with my mother's passing, that was many years ago, and at times I still miss her.

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club

It would have been his 102nd birthday today (23rd March 1919)
R I P you auld codger.
Makes me sad, as I'm missing him very strongly today.

But Thanks to the 'Rona being so good at killing the elderly and frail in a most horrible fashion, I am actually glad he passed when he did.

3 years ago.

Bee Orchid

Anniversaries of deaths are always difficult. I try not to think of the anniversaries for my parents, and try to simply remember the good times we had together [hugs]

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Bee Orchid

Aye, I hadn't forgotten the date, more trying to find happy memories.

I think the Shrewsbury Pickets decision in the Court of Appeal will do it.
As a staunch Trade Unionist, those convictions 48 years ago, really caused my father much grief.

3 years ago.

Ingrid K. Brandl ^club

It´s hard to lose father or mother forever - no matter how old they are...
the memory lasts forever.

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Ingrid K. Brandl ^club

Thank you, Ingrid.

I find that having many happy memories coming to the fore, as time goes by, also helps in coping.

3 years ago.

Mickey fez

memories never fade of much loved ones

3 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Mickey fez

Thanks, Mickey - I think the favourite, nicer ones are enhanced by the fading of less pleasant memories, and become easier to recall when required.

3 years ago.

Mickey fez

R.I.P

2 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Mickey fez

Thank you, Mickey.

2 years ago.

Bee Orchid

Anniversary of a death is always a tough one. Just the other day I picked an item for a customer, and it was something my Dad used to eat. It made me feel a tad maudlin.
Hope you'll sleep better.
I try and simply remember the good times, rather than the anniversary of my parents deaths though it's not always easy.
[[hugs]]

2 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Bee Orchid

Thank you, Fran.

I know what you mean, it is often the strangest connections that remind me of my parents [& other family & friends that aren't about anymore] - I can usually shake off the maudlin by deliberately thinking of some happy memories. Today it was a little bit harder to do that, and I did manage to do so, after a few minutes.

2 years ago.

Jenny McIntyre ^club

My thoughts are with you at this time. You were so lucky to have your dad for so long - my dad died when I was 22, whilst my mum died 20 years ago - on 4th September 2001 - and her birthday would have been on 11th September 2001 - the well known 9/11 (so I can never forget the date of her death). I miss them terribly still - although I had 30 more years with my mum and she'd been my best friend. I just hope I'm half as good a mum to my kids as she was to me.

2 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club has replied to Jenny McIntyre ^club

Thank You, Jenny, for your kind thoughts and I appreciate the support.
My Dad was quite right when he said that part of growing up was learning to cope with the loss of family and friends. It is never easy, but there are ways to cope, as I think st some point, everyone will find something that helps the process.

2 years ago.

Bee Orchid

I don't actually remember the dates my parents died, though I do remember their Birthday's and sometimes feel a tad maudlin, knowing they're no longer here. Mostly I try and remember the good times we had whilst they were alive.

2 years ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club

Thank You, that's what I've been doing - remembering some of the good times.
And I had a Beef Dinner, with Yorkshire Pudding in memory ...

2 years ago.

Bee Orchid

My Dad was on my mind too as it was his Birthday a few days ago. I don't remember the day he died as I don't want to though each Birthday, for both Mum and Dad, I do think of them. [[hugs]]

22 months ago.

GrahamH ^club

You were privileged to have had him for so long. My dad died when I was 29.

22 months ago.

Gillian Everett ^club

So sad for us to lose our parents, especially when they are with you for such a long time, part of your existence. I understand how you feel. My dear old Dad left us, aged 102, in 2019, and it still feels like yesterday. Mum was a few years earlier, aged 88, in 2016. Always in my heart, and thoughts. Good for you to remember the happy times.

17 months ago.

Jenny McIntyre ^club

I'm so sorry Sarah. My father died on 17 July 1971 and my mother on 4 September 2001. I miss them so much at times. I'm so lucky in a way, I live in their home, yet because they were both ardent gardeners, I feel so guilty that I can't keep it like they did due to my immobilities. I hope they forgive me. My dad would have been 106 and Mum 105. I can't imagine them being that old.

16 months ago.

raingirl ^club

What can we do, what can we be once our parents die? I do not know. I hope your good memories and connections with him can bring you some peace.

15 months ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club

It was my own birthday earlier this month, during which our four adult household did a few celebratory things - including a splendid meal at a local Inn [I had Salmon as trout were unavailable].
It wasn't until the following day that a couple of things intruded into my thoughts, firstly, I'm now over a decade older than the age at which my late mother passed away. Secondly, I missed having the opportunity to treat my father to a meal & trip out.

7 months ago.

StoneRoad2013 ^club

Another year has passed ...

The ache is still there, just not at the forefront of my mind.

4 months ago.

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Bereaved - In memorium