honeyj's photos

sire, think the humans will buy that title? cookie oven? ha ha. all those stupid humans ever think about is their sugar. they have no idea that this is in fact a weapon of mass destruction. ha ha! well, they'll soon find out, won't they. yes. launch the missiles now! yes sire. care for some candy? oh yes. I like candy. me too, sire. stupid humans.

he's home. I see him. good. what's he doing? looks like he's eating. anyone with him? I'll say. she is a looker too. so now what? the plan stays the same. we take him out. ok. what about her? maybe she'll sit with us while we finish his dinner. I like that. me too.

watcha wanna do today, marty? I dunno, mikey. watchoo wanna do? wanna steal some h-bomb secrets? again? nah, I can't. mom says I gotta be home. yeah. me too I guess. tomorrow though? ok, sure.

hurry up with those parts, consort. yes sire. we are at final assembly now. good. the invasion of earth must begin promptly at 12 solar units. that damn committee has been breathing down my neck. why? does it really matter whether we invade at 12 or 1? damn I hate bureaucracy! sorry about that, sire. and all that paperwork! it makes my exo-skeleton quiver, know what I mean? I hate when that happens, sire. you bet your bippy.

your creation is taking shape, lord. yes, I think I might like this world. I hope so, lord. the last one was a total mess. what did you just say, archangel? I mean, it was the best, lord! the best! hmmm. ok. cue the volcanos. I like lava. me too, lord.

master, the humans are getting near. worry not. we are, of course, invisible to them. and yet, I fear they may detect us, lord. very well. prepare the tractor beam. full power? yes. we will disassemble their molecules. ooh. I love when that happens. makes them so easy to digest. me too.

how are we getting there? we'll take the canoe. across the lake? it's not that far. will you paddle? sure. ok, hand me my pillow? and my drink, thanks. my pleasure, beautiful.

any news, number 99? yes, HQ. I see new defensive walls and other structures. be careful, 99, don't get spotted. there is also a lot of activity, using shovels and pails full of water. hmmm. what do you think that means? I don't know, but can I have ice cream now, daddy? sure, baby.

o fearless leader, we bow to your magnificence. bow all you like, slave. I'm hungry. where's my cookies? your sycophant, marvin, ran out to the store for some. well he better get back here soon. I have a craving. we worship your cravings, o horrible one. speaking of which, where's what's her name? you mean, sally, lord? yeah, her. get her over here. tell her to wear that cute little number. you know, the one I like. with the polka dots? yeah. oh man, it's totally irresistible. and goes perfect with cookies. if you say so, o voracious one.

private, set up a checkpoint. that's enemy territory. don't let anyone get by you. no one sir? absolutely no one. not even the general? he's over there, waving at us. the general? with the enemy? shall I let him cross, sir? of course, private. and don't bother me with questions again. I hope there's no more generals over there. me too.

think we can hold 'em here, general? by god, we better, son. or the human race is cooked. this is the last stand. nothing else is left. that's kind of depressing. nice view, though, isn't it? and it's a beautiful day. ok, don't go overboard on me. no sir.

who brought the cookies? didn't you? what? you mean there's no cookies? I guess not. have an apple. damn it! I've been thinking about those oreos for hours! I feel your pain. don't mock me, woman. I wouldn't think of it.

how you doing, jerry? hey maurice. just getting ready to walk across the bridge. I wouldn't go there if I was you. in fact, I recommend against it. c'mon! why not? them that has, never been seen in their human form again. what? it's just a bridge! what's happened to them? they're changed. forever. changed? how? hippies. all hippies. a sad thing to see.

stand back. why? we gotta close these blast doors, and fast. whaddya mean? we got incoming. incoming what? missles, you idiot. this is a bomb shelter, right? but I was gonna run out for a latte. maybe in the next life. not now. not even a bagel? a bagel? sure, go ahead. bring me a salty. you want cream cheese on that? absolutely. you think I was raised in a barn?

they're up there. where? in the church. no way. they wouldn't dare. it's true. i can smell 'em. get the ropes. we'll go in from above. not a problem. just keep me covered. remember, they don't have eyes. they see radio waves. well turn off your iphone then. good idea.

we have them surrounded, sire. excellent. arm the ionizing narcolepser. at once, your worshipfulness. now the earthlings will feel my awesome power. as they should, your magnificence. pity they don't have exoskeletons like us. why, sire? I love crunchy food. well put, o wise one.

where am I? earth. what year is it? 2006. no way. it's true. my god. 50 years. what do you mean? since I was taken down there. what happened? don't ask. you don't want to know.

how we gonna get this guy? easy. you go up, I go down. we find him in the middle. yeah? then what? then we gently escort him to the car. we do? no, you idiot. you push him over the edge. job done. but there's people here! they're lookin' at the art. not at goons like us. hey, speak for yourself. I ain't no goon. no? you're just a nice upstanding citizen, right? I am. a real college professor. who happens to whack people in public. yeah, ok. I'm going up. see you on the way down. enjoy the art, professor. yeah, you too.