honeyj's photos

I wouldn't go in there. whaddya mean? it's a museum. a museum of death. nobody who goes in ever comes out. how do you know? I been in there. hah! and here you are, bullshitting me! no bullshit. it's true. but you made it out fine. no I didn't. I'm dead, man. what? put your hand over my heart. feel a pulse? well, no, but. . . I don't have one. I'm a dead man walking. then why are you here? among the living? I'm the curator of this museum. it's my job. you have a job? and you're dead? don't act surprised. the government needs taxes. after death? bummer isn't it? I was kinda looking forward to no more work. so what are you saying? the only certainties in this world are death and taxes. but not at the same time! I hate to break it to you, but it's true.

I told you to get those brakes checked. but did you? nooooo. you think you're so smart. sorry, boss. well this is a fine mess you got us into.

what are doing out here? we're looking for sal, remember? oh, right. why are we looking for him? because he's got the money. how come he's got the money? because he stole it. try to focus, ok? what are we gonna do when we find him? first, we're gonna get our money back. then what? then, sal is gonna experience a whole new meaning of pain. glad I'm not sal. what is your name, anyway? hey, it's louie. try to stay focused, ok? right.

before you open that door. . . what? just be aware. once you enter, you may never come out. what are you talking about? just beware. I'll wait for you out here. oh, sure. I'm going in there alone? no way, man. you must. it is your destiny. what the hell is in there? you must learn that for yourself. forget it, dude! be calm. but be ready. for anything. man, you are freaking me out! here. take my weapon. you may need it. jesus christ, man! it's a museum! not after hours, it's not. don't forget to duck.

this is a nice spot. ok, let's rest. did you bring the coffee? no. didn't you? you mean we have no coffee? I need a starbucks. I doubt there's one around here. not as nice a spot as I thought. guess not.

what's the address? dunno. but the place is around here somewhere. how will we find it? I'd recognize the front door anywhere. I hope so, because the cops are closing in fast. no problem. this place is totally secure. yeah? yeah. like a fortress. armored? well, not exactly. but tastefully decorated.

my boy, welcome to my new laboratory! laboratory? but herr doktor, we're in the middle of the woods. exactly! it is here that I will put Einstein's theory of relativity to the ultimate test! how will you do that? by increasing the speed of light! these trees will grow immense in an instant of time! but isn't that impossible, doktor? well, so far it is. but I am working on it. but there's no equipment here. yes, well I must first figure out what equipment is necessary, you see. in the woods? I thought it was a nice place to think about it. certainly, doktor.

dude! that is one sweet sleeping bag! you cannot sleep in it. it's mine. just for one night! don't even think about it! comfy! dammit! get out! nighty night. hey! who took my last twinkie?

aren't you afraid, mister? me? of what? another earthquake? nah. so it happened once. won't happen again. if you say so. more coffee? sure. hey. did you feel that? feel what? there it is again. my coffee's shaking. turn around. a bear big as a house is looking at you. shit! were you gonna tell me? now are you afraid? yes goddammit! I'm afraid! happy now? just checking.

think they'll find us here? not if we don't want them to. I don't want to ever be found. how about by me? silly boy. you already found me. I did, didn't I. yes, thank god.

where are all the border guards? I guess they must be on break. well that's not a good reason. no wonder security in this country is falling apart. absolutely. it's appalling. totally. but now we don't have to declare any of this stuff, do we. good thing. I thought I was gonna have to eat it. that would have been entertaining. you'd have been high as a kite for weeks. yeah? what's your point? I guess there isn't one. I guess not.

pardon me, where's the men's room? whaddya mean? there's no men's room on this boat. oh, then we have to go back to shore. no way, bud. we ain't turning around so that you can take a leak. but it's urgent. yeah? well so's this little number. hey, you don't have to point that at me. one more peep outta you. you'll be relieving yourself at the bottom of the lake. I think I can hold it. that's the spirit.

hey, paulie, how do we get out of here? whaddya mean? we just arrived. I know. I got a bad feeling about this place, that's all. how come? can't you just enjoy the sunset like everyone else? you mean, like those 2 over there? who? the 2 guys in blue. as in cops. hey, forget about them. they're on vacation. they're cops. they give me heartburn. you always did worry too much. yeah, well I'm still here to talk about it, ain't I? you make that sound like it's a good thing. hey! don't start! yeah, ok. have another donut. I think I will. nice sunset, isn't it? yeah. nice.

hey maw! it must be mississippi paddleboat paddlewheel week! why do you say that, vern? just lookit that thing! spinnin' to beat all! vern, quit flappin' your gums and sit down before your teeth fall out.

what time's the party? let's start now! ok. you got the beer? don't you? no! you got the food? well, no again. dammit! how are we supposed to party then? I thought you and me, we'd get. . .creative. oh. really? you. . . and me? I guess that wasn't such a hot idea, was it? well, I mean. . I'm not even a little warm. I mean. . yeah. I'll just go get the damn beer. and chips too, while you're at it.

may I help you? I've come here to pray. excellent. we have a wide selection of gods and goddesses. I see the one I venerate. ah, yes. she is exceptional. on sale today, too. on sale? you can't. . . sell a goddess. interesting point. but she comes with a price. and I'm willing to pay it. or any price. did I say she is on sale? silly me. that was yesterday. doesn't matter. I will pay. very good. and how would you like to pay? my soul. I give her my soul. please do. but here we take only cash.

this is the place, hermie. this is what place, joey? your new home. isn't it great? are you nuts? I ain't livin' here. of course you are! and you're gonna like it, too. yeah? who says? the boss. that's who. you wanna complain to him? the boss says I gotta live here? how come? how come is because you got yourself mixed up in that thing. oh, yeah. that thing. but that wasn't my fault! fault don't matter, you moron. it cost the boss money. yeah? yeah. so now you gotta lay low. right here. oh. so how big's the TV? TV? you think there's electricity in there? what? there's not? sorry kid. but it's only for 2 or 3 years. joey, I can't miss my stories! I'll die! hey. you're lucky you ain't dead already. can I at least have my stuffed puppy? helps me sleep. I'll take care of it. you're a pal, joey. yeah, whatever.

need a lift? uh, yeah, but. . . where's the horse? the what? the horse. to pull that wagon. horse? we don't got no horse. well how you gonna get it to move? I just say, ookalaaka ookalaaka. then it moves. are you serious? serious. and that's where we're from. sirius. you're from sirius? like you're an alien? yeah. me and him. the thing you called a wagon. it's not a wagon? no, actually, he's my boss. name's flavio. this things alive? as alive as you or me. but it just looks like a broken down old wagon. yeah. great disguise, isn't it? and I suppose you have a disguise too? you are correct. right. then prove it. ok. here we go. I'll just take this mask off. . . there. OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE A LIZARD!!! well, actually, we call ourselves Remnatts. HOLY SHIT!!! you. . . still want that ride? oh, uh, yeah, sure. thanks. don't mention it. say, you got any spare flies or bugs? uh, no, sorry. that's ok. just a little hungry is all.