amylsacks' photos

"Daddy, why is Mommy holding that cake of yeast to her ear like she's listening to it?" "Never mind, Susie. We'll just go sit in the living room with our soft drinks until she's done."

(L) This page appears only in some of my copies, for whatever reason. (R) "...But there are times when women like to run up a batch of rolls of their own, or try their hand at a coffee cake, just to see if they can still do it!" Yeah, you women better not get too big for your britches, just because we're letting you work in the auto plant for now. Tsk!

A promotional booklet published by Standard Brands, Inc., makers of Fleischmann's Dry Yeast. I've had multiple additions of this thing lying around the house for years. Only when I laid it out for scanning did I notice the "mirror imagery" on the covers.

Lesson learned: Arrange cold cuts in a nice circle, and everyone will think they're eating steak. From the August issue of American Home magazine.

I wonder if the Art Nouveau label was considered dowdy and passe' to the syrup buyers of the 1950s? I like it much better than their current one. From December's Western Family magazine.

Think of how exotic this must have looked to the "family" demographic back in 1959. You've got your (admittedly crappy) NORTHWEST U.S. beer and an image of fish in its natural (as opposed to canned or frozen plywood stick) form. Plus, nobody even mentioned Lent anywhere in the ad text. Pretty edgy. From the April 1959 issue of Family Circle.

Edward Steichen took the photo. He and his second wife, Dana Glover, are profiled inside the magazine. The model is Dana Jenney "of New York City."

Above, left: "The Ravenous Ones"? Is this what George Romero was eating when he decided to launch his film career? Above, right: "Football fans want something that'll 'stick to their ribs.'" Ladle this out just once and those freeloaders will go to somebody else's house on Sundays. Then you can relax and get drunk in peaceful solitude. Below, left: "Trainwreck" and "Aspic" almost rhyme. There's a reason for that. Below, right: Yes, mixing up instant soup and then hauling it to a picnic makes perfect sense. Luckily by this time we're so hypnotized by the colors chosen by Lipton that we'll believe anything.

Above, left: Is Mom using the soup to open Dad's pores, or what? Above, right: I'm backing away slowly from the caricature, not to mention the "Oriental Mood." Gah. Below, left: What Mom's really saying there is, "Mea Culpa, Kids. We can have cheeseburgers from the drive-thru next week. I promise." Below, right: "Those three bacon strips are all the meat we can afford this month, Gents. Sip slowwwwwwly, and remember how much I love you."

Above: Was this left over from some promo where you could win Wedgewood and silverplate if you sent in a wheelbarrow full of box tops? I hope so. Below, left: "Good Evening, Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Yes, dinner is crap and my gems are plastic. But given what you pay my husband, maybe you should just shut up and eat it."

An undated promotional. I did my best on the year. Check out the lovely wood veneer, the fancy tureens... Right from the start the company is shouting from the rooftops, "We will try way too hard to make you love something that you only buy because it's fast, cheap, and unperishable."

Cuddly kittens + peppy cursive typeface + SCIENCE!! + grisly fish dissection = Everything I love about ads from before I was born. Clipped from September's Good Housekeeping.

Inside of the same leaflet, from the land that seasoning forgot. And don't try to tell me that nobody in Jersey City had ever heard of basil and oregano. I won't believe you.

Outside of a promotional leaflet published by C.F. Mueller Co., Jersey City, NJ. My Mom never used her wedding silver to serve us Mac 'N Cheese. That probably explains a whole lot of things.

"More than 25 tempting varieties..." Okay, now I'm scared. From the pages of Family Circle.

From March's Western Family. . Bachelor Buttons are now considered an invasive species in this part of the country. Too bad my time machine's in the shop.

Yes, you too can be fake, stiff, and coated in plastic! Just like this flower! From the February Good Housekeeping magazine.

The Amazing Colossal Woman requests your presence at her kaffeklatsch. Make sure you're clear as to whether it's at 8AM or 8PM. She's not somebody you want mad at you. From the March issue of Coronet magazine. (Enlarged to show detail.)