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good morning, herr doktor. my boy! I've done it! done what, doktor? I've proven that life existed before earth was formed! that's impossible. not at all! it's true! but that means. . . yes! we are all aliens! then where did we come from? who knows! possibly a bacteria-like organism, or even simple nucleotides from an older part of the galaxy! really? possibly reaching earth by hitchhiking an inter-stellar ride on a comet, asteroid, or other organic space debris! ha ha! life existed before earth. wow. so what do we do about it? what else my boy? drink! I love these discoveries. me too! pass the vodka!

stanley, it's garbage day today. yes, edna? why are you telling me? the garbage needs to be taken out! but, edna, that's what we have servants for. remember? that's all and good, stanley, but the garbage hasn't been taken out, and today is pick-up. so. . . so. . . what, exactly, edna? so would you take out the garbage stanley? how clear do I have to be? that was very clear. where, uh, do I take it? the curb stanley! my god, have you never had to do a thing in your life? do I have to answer that, edna? and don't forget the recyclables. the. . . what? I mean, ok.

how was confession, stanley? actually, edna, it was great! really? yeah! father herb told me that all those things we aren't a sin! what? none of them? just about! can you believe it? not even. . . you know. not even that! the lord doesn't care! who knew? wow. and what about that other thing? you mean. . . ? yeah. father herb says forget it. that's a sin. definitely. it is? yeah. but screw it! that's what confession is for, right? yay!

what's up, earl? nothing much, vern. how's the ride? I'm liking it. you ever gonna paint it? what do you mean, vern? I mean it don't seem to have no paint job. here's the thing, vern. the car goes so fast, atmospheric friction strips the paint right off. you don't say. and another thing. eat shit, vern. that fast, eh? believe it.

hey, walt, how's the white house job going? can't talk, ed. big purge. really? still more firings? what a shit circus! no, I mean me. I'm gonna throw up any second. oh! sorry! the chaos at work literally makes me sick. do you need, I dunno. . . a bucket? the hell with that. I'm doing it in the rose garden. isn't the prez like, speaking there? exactly.

I can see it. see what? the promised land. and I mean to get there one day. well, good luck with that. in the meantime, what I want is to get outta here. me too, actually. is that a promise? sure.

dude! there's a party! c'mon! whose is it? who cares! let's go! we'll get wasted! didn't we get thrown out last night trying to pull that? what's your point? you got me there.

I'd point that thing somewhere's else, if'n I was you. yeah? well I ain't afraid of you. maybe not. but my little friend, you should be afraid of him. yeah? what's his name? colt. that's a name? colt .45. you're about to meet him. actually, I'd rather not. first intelligent thing you've said today. and here's the second. I'm outta here. you're not as dumb as I thought, pilgrim. how'd you know my name? just a guess.

what are you doing here? I like to hang out in the city. like, with me? of course! awesome.

what are we doing here? I had to. why? I've been coming here for years. so? I can't explain it. does it have anything to do with the fact that you work here, father? well, there's that. somehow I thought so.

what are you guys doing? we're just waiting on the bus. there ain't no bus here. is too. you think that's a bus stop you're in? well, yeah. isn't it? for sure.

did you bring a ball, maurice? what? nah man! why would I do that? c'mon! I'm suddenly in the mood for some hoops! here? this place is probably toxic! yeah? well so is what you pathetically call your game. oh snap! that hurts so much. it do, don't it. I'm sure it do.

good morning, herr doktor. ah, there you are, my boy! come here, quickly! I've made an astounding scientific breakthrough! oh? what now, doktor? I've unlocked the secret of time itself! please sit here. wow. that's really something. just lean back and relax. this won't take but a moment, and will be almost painless. what are you doing? I must insert this device deep into your frontal lobe you see. my what? won't that cause, I don't know, brain damage? oh, tut tut. don't be so petty. we are talking about one of the great discoveries of the universe! what's going to happen? do not worry. you won't remember a thing. really? yes. in fact, you will have no memories at all. ever. what's that got to do with time travel? who said anything about time travel, my boy? I'm going to free you from the artificial constraints of time! imagine! but with no brain function? well, none to speak of. but I'm working on that, trust me.

stop your vehicle. you must know the password to continue. password? geez, I don't know. how about: please? sorry, not even close. um, ok. pretty please? very good. proceed. have a nice day. wow. that was easy. things are not complicated here. you're kidding, right?

may I help you sir? yes, I'm looking for a gift for my wife. very good. what did you have in mind? oh, something different. not the usual earrings, etc. well, we have quite a selection of unique items. I can see that. how much for that thing over there? oh, it's on sale this week, for only $3000 US. that's a little steep, don't you think? it's a rare piece, sir. you won't find it anywhere. isn't it a used 55-gallon oil drum? yes, but the workmanship is exquisite. it is nice. will you take $2,000 for it? oh, I couldn't let it go for less than $2,750. I'll give you $2,400. cash. you drive a hard bargain, sir. it's yours. think she'll like it? it will be an unexpected treasure, I'm sure. and she can always exchange it for another color. but they're all black and white. and shades of grey, sir. there's a difference. of course. shall I wrap it up, then? no, I think I'll wear it home. very good sir.

what are we doing here? we're giving thanks. for what, exactly? for all of our blessings, of course. I should feel blessed? you should. I have a confession to make. what's that? I hate your guts. you do? I should kick your ass right now. oh. but not here. I'll wait outside. you will? count on it.

that was quite a week you just had, donny. it was, wasn't it? fantastic. that's not what I meant. it wasn't? no. in fact, I can't believe the godawful mess you've made since you arrived. me? who the hell is gonna clean it up? hey! this place was a disaster before I got here! not like this it wasn't. so whaddya want me to do? grab a shovel and get to work. me? yeah, you. for once in your miserable worthless life. do something real. clean up your shit. but I have bone spurs! my feet might hurt! really? tell someone who cares.

you summoned me, o great pharaoh? yes, steward. we have a little problem. problem, sire? it's the undead. they're at it again. oh no. what now? well, among other things, they've been seen in public. you know I can't abide that. makes the populace. . . anxious. true. they may be undead, but I'd rather suffer through seven plagues than have to deal with this PR problem. got it? I'm on it, master. good. now what's next on the agenda? moses, lord. he wishes an audience. that wack job? what does he want now? no idea, lord. fine, bring him in. how important can it be?