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Slave! I need you! Yes, my lord, Ba'al. Where are my virgins? I'm expecting them to parade before me! Momentarily, lord. And are they. . . um. . . suitably excited? Naturally, lord. Who wouldn't want to fulfill their life by being sacrificed to you? True, true. One thing, though. They want to. . . take LSD first. They what? In order to lose their minds, they say. So as to improve the experience, I assume? I'm sure, lord. Their devotion to me is so gratifying. It goes without saying, o beloved one. Indeed. But you can say it anyway. Of course, lord.

Hey Diego, What's up. So, Edsel Ford, you know, Henry's kid? He wants me to paint some museum walls for him in the D. Yeah? What's it gonna be? I'm thinking it'll be about creating stuff from the fruits of the earth, Detroit industry, and the workers who make everything. Sounds amazing. You think a big industrialist like him will go for art from a commie pinko like you? We'll see, won't we. But my wife Frida, she likes the idea. Ms. Kahlo is gonna be there too? Oh yeah. She'll be painting her own stuff. Great! Wouldn't it be nice if she makes it one day, like you have? That would be very cool, yeah. Kind of an unexpected bonus, like. Yeah, maybe.

I couldn't live here. Who's asking you to? Oh, I was just anticipating your next question. Yeah? What am I gonna ask you now? Am I hungry? Keeee-rect! What's your answer? I'm starved. Me too. Let's eat. Well that was easy. Hey, it's not rocket science, you know.

Do either of you need anything? Water? Anything? No, we're fine, thanks. I can see that.

Bad news, man. I've been evicted. Damn, that's harsh. Moving is the worst. You said it. Plus, I've accumulated so much stuff! I mean, it's unbelievable what's in here! And the thing is, I can't bear leaving any of it. You're taking it all? Yeah, I gotta. Even. . . .Even this giant. . . thing? Man, I gotta keep that! I've been through so much with it! It's like a part of the family! Yeah, but, dude. How are you gonna get it out of here? Drive it, of course. Drive it? Does it even run? You mean it might not? Don't even say that! Ok, you didn't hear it from me. I'm sure it'll start. Jesus! You had me worried there for a second! It's in perfect shape. When, ah, when was the last time you fired it up? Hmmm. Let's see. Who was president during Watergate? What? It's been sitting here 50 years? No man! I was just quizzing you! Only about 40! It'll be a snap, right? Totally.

This is it, men. The final battle. We're ready, sir! You'll have to call on all of your training to survive. We will, sir! Nobody be a hero. We're in this together. Got it? This is my last test, and I want to go out on top! You will sir! For you rookies, these bake sales can be extremely intense. A madhouse! Be strong! Sir! We'll make our quota sir! And one final thing: keep your damn hands off the chocolate frosting! No exceptions! Do you read me? Yes sir! No frosting sir!

Hello? Is anybody home? What can I do for you? Sorry, I couldn't find the door bell. I'm selling magazine subscriptions to get through college. Do you live here? Can't say live. It's an existence. Perhaps Better Homes and Gardens would be perfect for you. You think it will help with this place? I doubt it, but you might like the pretty pictures. No thanks. You got Futility and Angst Monthly? Of course. One of our best sellers in this neighborhood. What a surprise. Yes, it's curious.

Pretty interesting way of storing your vinyl, Sid. Storing? Ha ha! No way, Alvin! I'm warding off evil spirits! You don't say. You've been experiencing, uh, issues, with spirits? I mean, evil ones? Oh man! It was bad! But now, life is a breeze! Good to know. Well, I stopped by to pick up that Ornette Coleman album you borrowed last year. Got it handy? Ornette Coleman? Let's see. Oh yeah! It's up there! Right next to Charles Lloyd's 'Love In.' Very powerful magic! Cool. Now can I have my record back? Oh man. I can't interrupt the ethereal energy, man! That just won't do! Hmmm. I see. Can you maybe replace it with this 45? The Fendermen. "Mule Skinner Blues." Wow! A classic! That might work! Good. I'll hold the ladder for you. I got a thing about heights you see. That too, eh? What can I say? I got a complicated mind. That's one way to describe it.

They'll never find us here, Purvis. You really think so? All we gotta do is blend in with the neighborhood. We’ll be invisible! Ok Mo. But I was meaning to ask something. Yeah? What’s that big, shiny, red thing sitting in the driveway? Uh, that? That’s our. . . . uh. . . our getaway car. . . Oh. Right. I meant to put it in the garage. That would be a good idea. I mean, it’s pretty invisible to me of course. But, I dunno, maybe not to all those potential witnesses who are, you know, ogling it. . . Where is this garage, anyway? You mean, there isn’t one? Shit! Great hideout you found us, Mo, ain’t it? Yeah. Pretty great. So. . . . are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin? Yeah. Let’s get the fuck outta here. Right behind you.

This is it, Pauley. This is THE place. Place for what, Vince? Our next business venture. It's gonna be dynamite. You planning on blowing it up? Sounds good to me. No you idiot! This'll be the new in place in town! They'll be lining up to eat out of our hands! They're not gonna want to touch your hands in this dump. or anything else for that matter. I know you want to invest. No way. You think I'm gonna throw away money on this place, you're nuts. Hey, I thought you was a friend. A friend? Yes. A dumb schmuck? No. I can't believe it. Another dream, destroyed by short-sighted greed and avarice. Want my advice, pal? You need to get yourself a higher class of dreams. Yeah, well maybe.

How are you today, lord? What's up, archangel? It's about your people, lord. Which people? On Earth, lord. Remember it? Yes. I was still experimenting with the creation thing back then. Right. Well, it is becoming evident that the humans' time there is about up. You think? Yes. They've over-populated and stripped the planet with never-ending short-sighted greed. Too bad for them. I gave them brains. Let them fix it. But they can't agree on anything, lord. Then they'll end up in the toilet, won't they? What do you think about providing a little guidance? Oh, ok. You can send a few messengers. Carry my word. What should they tell humankind? Just this: wise up or die. How's that? Simple. Direct. Will they understand? You mess with my trees, my lakes and rivers, watch your butt. Yes, lord. I am no supreme being to be fooled with, no way. Of course, lord. And only idiots crap in the bed in which they sleep. Now go. I'm busy working on a little 4th dimension thing. Oh? Yeah, they're gonna love it on Arcturus. They will sing your praises, I'm sure. Whatever. But those idiot humans? You tell them: they break it, they own it. Yes lord.

Meet me at the fountain. Which fountain. Scott. How will I recognize you? I'll be the one with the briefcase full of cash. What color briefcase? Dude. The bills will be spilling out of it. Got it. Green. I'll be there.

Help you? Yeah, I'm here for my truck. That thing? About about time. It's been here a while. Yeah, like 15 years. Where you been? Busy. Doing what? Improving my attitude. How'd that work out for you? Things might be looking up. 15 years. Musta needed a lot of improving. Hey. Fuck you. I mean, It did. It certainly did.

“Look, buddy,” the wig salesman said, “I’ve got to close. Either choose now or take a hike.” I couldn’t really blame the guy for his impertinence. After all, I’d been examining his fluffy merchandise for the better part of an hour by then, although I hadn’t told him the real reason for my visit. “Just cool it, friend. You know the customer is always right.” What I didn’t say was that, directly across the street, in plain view through the store’s plate glass window, stuffed with more cheap, tawdry goods than I had ever before encountered, was the small, greasy diner that was the actual focus of my attention. As I fondled one last item, I spotted my quarry exiting the establishment, surrounded by his usual entourage of thieves, pimps, punks and killers. Tossing the rug aside, I hurtled through the door to the street, the owner yelling to my back, “Thanks for nothing wise guy.” As I reached the curb, the surly mob was piling into a black Escalade that had been idling in the alley. It roared off as I dove into my ‘62 British racing green MGB. Touching the ignition, the exhaust emitted the characteristic throaty growl that no other sports car in the world had ever been able to match. I slammed the shift knob into 1st and spun after the big SUV, checking to see that there were no cops in sight. I certainly didn’t want any around for what I needed to do. I left the wig shop in the dust, the image of the shop owner pulling down his security gates rapidly receding in my rear-view mirror as I raced through the next 4 gears. I knew where the mark was heading. Perhaps I could beat him there. However, as I careened onto Lower Wacker Drive, my steel-belted Pirellis screaming in protest, I saw too late that I had been set up. The first burst of gunfire took out half the right fender, slamming me into a hard spin toward the river. Something exploded behind me, eliminating the black canvas rag top, on which I had just expended considerable capital for repairs. The thought was fleeting, however, as I now realized that my tires were no longer in contact with pavement. Rather, I was looking at a long dive into the frigid blackness of the Chicago River, rapidly rising toward me. I struggled to free myself of my constraints, silently cursing my law-abiding nature. I couldn’t get the damn seat belt unhooked. I didn’t feel a thing as the octagon MG logo hit the icy water. After that, I wouldn’t have any more complaints.

There he is. See him? Where? 27th floor, 2nd window to the left. Ok, gimme a sec. Hey, forget that guy. Check out the 28th floor. Oh man, you're right! Forget the perp! Who is she? I don't know, but I'm putting on a longer lens.

Where do you think you're going? I'm here for the show, man. Forget it. You ain't getting in. Whaddya mean? I'm all dressed for the occasion. Can't you read the sign? Anyway, that color scheme sucks. And turn that hat around. you look ridiculous. Damn, man. That's harsh. The symphony has its standards here, you know. Yeah? Coulda fooled me.

Where you going? It's time. I gotta go. Whaddya mean? It's almost midnight! Yeah. It's a full moon. They're waiting. Who? My wolfen brothers . . I mean my homies. I mean, oh forget it, you don't wanna know. Don't forget to lock the door. You be back tonight? Depends. If you think you hear dogs howling, just go back to sleep. It might not be, you know, dogs. Howling? At what? The moon. I mean, uh, how should I know? Ok I guess. But, hey, aren't you going to wear shoes? Shoes? Tonight? Nah. I don't need shoes.

Here we have it! Your next home! You're renting this out? The penthouse suite! Truly the showpiece of the place. But it's a hay loft! Designed to re-imagine rural living for the 21st century! Exciting, eh? Do you allow pets? Oh, no, we couldn't do that. Can't take the risk of damage. And the bats don't like company, right? Not so much.