honeyj's photos

Excuse me, sir. Is this the way to get into the bay? We might want to tie up and do some shopping. None shall pass. Er, what? What do you mean? None shall pass. I don't really understand what you're trying to say. None shall pass. Say, I notice you have no arms or legs. What of it? Oh, I dunno. Just thought maybe I'd seen you somewhere before. You think? What'd you say your name is? l am Arthur, King of the. . . Never hearda ya. Yes of course. Must have been somebody else. None shall. . . I mean, yeah, must have been.

Sarge says we gotta take this guy in for questioning, Louie. Don't get near him, Jake. He'll bite your head off. This guy? Look at him! He's petrified! I'm telling you, man, watch out. How would you know? I went to school with this guy. He was notorious. A vicious freak. Yeah? Where was that? Arcturus3 High School. That around here? Not really. So, you're like, what, French? Exactly. (Infrared film reticulated in development.)

I've been visiting your garden, lord. Which one is that, archangel? You know, Earth. You mean what was once a garden. True, although some beauty remains, despite the devastation. Humans have made a mess of it. They try one's patience, don't they? Some do. But it may not be an issue for long. Do you have plans, lord? Maybe. Let's just say I've been tossing a stray asteroid around. Oh? A little exercise is healthy, I've heard. I gather humans may not find it so? No, but I'm not asking for their opinion in the matter. No surprise there, lord.

Thanks for letting me wear your shirt. I like it. Me too. Really? On you? Totally.

What time's the next shuttle to Arcturus? You just missed it. Next one's in a week. A week! I can't wait that long! Sorry, bud. I gotta get off this rock! Way too much hostility! What else you got? Just one tonight, the garbage scow to Oberon. I'll take it. Even that scrap heap of a planet beats this place. Ok, if you're sure. But I'd advise you to stay clear of the micro-organisms. Yeah? How come? They'll pick you clean. No kidding? They don't get live ones all that often. Good point.

Whatcha doin', man? I'm cutting up some fresh vegetables for dinner. Yeah? Where's the meat? No meat. That's out. I'm increasing my intake of antioxidants. No meat? Damn. How come? Doctor says I gotta cut down on all those free radicals. Know what I mean? You mean those radicals are still free? Wow. I mean, I thought they was all thrown in jail years ago. What? No, man. So they out. Cool. Sure. Whatever. Have a carrot. I never knew you were so political. Yeah, well these are turbulent times. Right on with that.

Holy cow, Bert, you see that guy? He is obviously shit-faced. Dammit, Earl! I told you it was time to stop serving drinks to him! Well, he sure made a mess of this place, didn't he? Which you are going to clean up, right? Sorry, Bert, no can do. I gotta drive this loser home.

My liege, the Visigoth hordes have nearly surrounded us! Dammit, Leon! I was just about to eat lunch! Bring me a mead and dispatch my archers. We did that, my lord. But the enemy is overwhelming! Nonsense. Use that flaming projectile thingy. Fling molten stuff at them. That oughta hurt. Yes, lord, we are. But they still surge forward. They have no regard for the sanctity of human life, lord! Well then, call in an air strike. See how they like that! A what? “I love the smell of. . . “ Nuke the bastards! Nu. . ., my lord? I know not that word. Never mind. I got that out of a book I found on the internet. The. . . what? Forget it. It's nothing you need to worry about for another 1000 years or so.

Wanna go to the market with me? We need a few things. Nah, I'm working on a new project, and I may be close to a breakthrough. What project? You've been lying on the damn couch all day! That's the point. It's all about conservation of energy. A very important principle these days. What about me? I'd like to conserve some energy. Sorry, you're not part of the algorithm. How do I get to be a part? Get me some ice cream while you're out and I'll see what I can do.

Good morning, Herr Doktor. My boy, you're here just in time! Behold my new invention! I can now merge space and time! Distance has been rendered irrelevant! Wow, that's great, Doktor. What does it do? You are about to see! Just step into my specially-designed booth over there. Ok. Now what? There is a duplicate booth on the other side of my lab. I'm going to send you there, molecule by molecule. Instantly! What? You mean you're going to take me apart? And put you back together again! You won't feel a thing! Have you done this before? Well, er, yes. With your predecessor. And did it work? Yes! Well, he went somewhere, at least, pieces of him. . . did. Somewhere? Where is he? Floating in the ether, likely disembodied. Hard to say, actually. Disembodied? Oh my god! Don't worry about a thing! But you better let me hold onto your wallet. Just as a precaution, of course! I'm not sure about this, Doktor. Good thing lab assistants grow on trees! What? Science!

Here we are at what I think should be your next home! Oh yeah? Just look! If I only had one word to describe it, it would "spacious." Let me just peek through the window here. Yes, I see what you mean. The seller is very motivated. And it comes fully furnished! Really? The dinette set is quite cute. It's totally you! Shall I prepare an offer? Sure, once I get unstuck from this window.

How's the new job, Vern? Great. I'm on the line 8 hours a day, doing the same stupid, mindless thing, over and over and over. Wow. Makes your mind go completely numb, to the point you'd rather kill yourself than come back the next day and have to do it all over again. Sounds like a perfect fit for you. Yeah, I love it.

What's all this, Stanley? Edna! I've got a new hobby! Oh? Yeah! I've decided to weld metal sculptures! Like from used auto parts and other kinds of junk! Well, that's interesting, Stanley. I invited our crowd over to show it off! I see. So, where's your welder? Welder? Oh. I don't actually have one that works. But look at this set-up! A serious sculptor must work here, right? Absolutely. One with perfectly manicured fingernails. Gloves. I gotta get gloves.

Any luck? So-so. What are you using for bait? My ex-partner. Your. . . what? He was a crook. Got what was coming to him. Now he's fish food. I see. It won't take long for me to get a nibble. You seem pretty sure of that. Oh yeah. Caught a lot of fish with my last partner. That is so good to know.

Slave! Come here! I need you! Yes, my lord Ba'al. How may I serve you? The palace renovations! What do have to say about them? Why, they're beautiful, lord. Just look at that ceiling! It's spectacular! Spectacularly dull! I ordered images of naked nymphs! Luscious maidens! You know. . . Virginal indecency, O tasteful one? Exactly! But this! This is totally lacking in. . . what's the word? Vulgarity, lord? Yes! I guess. Deposit that artisan before me! Immediately, O merciful one. And bring the usual array of whips! This aggression will not stand!

Hello, lord. Is there anything on the agenda today? Kind of a slow day, archangel. But I've got my eye on a new toy. Really? Yes. I used to hang out with the owner. He's passed on, but it's still there. Cool. I'm gonna take it on vacation. Build some amazing sand castles. So. . . it's like a pail and shovel? Think bigger, archangel. Oh yes? Much bigger.

Hola, Diego. What's new? Nada, mi amigo. Just finishing up this little project of mine. It's looking good, man. Tell that to Frida. Whaddya mean? She wants to be in it. Wow. Are you gonna? Do I look like an idiot? I hate sleeping on the damn couch! I get it. So. See that worker over there? That's her. It is? It looks like a guy! Great eyebrows though. My favorite part, actually.

Wow. This is it? This is what? You know. Elvis' house. Man, I was not expecting this. Can't they afford, like, housekeepers? Dude. What are you saying? Paul Simon's supposed to give us a tour! Those edibles were pretty good last night, weren't they? Totally! Oh wait. You mean. . . No Paul Simon. Now go clean your room.