ba'al's ball

slave! where is my guest list?
here, lord ba'al. the invitations have gone out.
excellent! this will be the social event of the season! of the decade!
indeed, lord. your supplicants are busy with the preparations.
and the virgins? are they in readiness?
well. . .
well what? speak up!
we are scouring the city for suitable candidates, sire.
double your efforts slave! my guests expect to be entertained in proper fashion!
yes, lord. we are working within your constraints: 3 virgins for you for every one for your guests.
yes? you question my appetites, slave?
certainly not, o voracious one. but with 500 guests, that's. . . that's. . .
a lot of virgins?
in these times, I'm afraid so, sire.
we'll have to give some of the guests a substitute.
substitute, lord?
give them used cars off our lot. we're way over-stocked anyway.
used cars as substitutes for. . . virgins?
yes, dammit! if they don't like it, they can go to thor's party. he gives away grab bags. grab bags! with cookies and shit! what a cheapskate!
thor isn't worthy to carry your toga, lord.
how he ever made it in the cinema instead of me is a complete mystery.
a crime, o corpulent one.
those hollywood types. so shallow.
they don't know what they're missing, lord.
absolutely not. and those cars for the guests? stick to the high-mileage clunkers. are we clear?
as an unmuddied lake, lord.