California

what's up man? I'm reading. yeah? who? Wallace Stevens. 'let us build the building of light' he didn't write that. of course he did. nah. I think it sounds more like prince. you would.

how you doing, jerry? hey maurice. just getting ready to walk across the bridge. I wouldn't go there if I was you. in fact, I recommend against it. c'mon! why not? them that has, never been seen in their human form again. what? it's just a bridge! what's happened to them? they're changed. forever. changed? how? hippies. all hippies. a sad thing to see.

stand back. why? we gotta close these blast doors, and fast. whaddya mean? we got incoming. incoming what? missles, you idiot. this is a bomb shelter, right? but I was gonna run out for a latte. maybe in the next life. not now. not even a bagel? a bagel? sure, go ahead. bring me a salty. you want cream cheese on that? absolutely. you think I was raised in a barn?

centurion! I smell humans. what is our status? the first wave of troops is ready, sire. deploy. and remember: no prisoners. but plenty to eat, correct, master? ha ha. yes. plenty of human meat. my mandibles are oozing viscous methane at the thought. a good look for you, o wise one, if I may so bold as to say so. stuff your bulging eye stalks back in your crusty little thorax, centurion, and get what humans would call your ass moving. yes, sire. strange body part, the ass. it's a mystery to me.

where am I? earth. what year is it? 2006. no way. it's true. my god. 50 years. what do you mean? since I was taken down there. what happened? don't ask. you don't want to know.

oh look, stanley. isn't it beautiful? yes, edna. very nice. stanley! aren't you having a good time? of course, edna. I wouldn't want to be anyplace else. here with me? that's right, dear. here. with you.

wanna play some cards? nah. too boring. wanna jog around the yard? I hate jogging. wanna break outta this joint? now you're talking. well, when you figure out how, let me know.

the meeting is here, boss. kind of desolate, ain't it? very picturesque, though. picturesque? what are you, a travel agent? sorry boss. just got a little carried away. yeah, well they'll be carrying you away, you don't watch out. got it, boss.

man this water is cold. keep paddling. you'll stay warmer. I can't believe they haven't spotted us. sure they have. but they know we ain't got a chance. whattya mean? this was your escape plan! I was bored. bored! that's why you talked me into this? what, you don't like it? no, I don't. so sue me.

we expect the attack to come from the west, sir. I know. I've had all gun emplacements aimed accordingly. sir! the radar! the bugs are screaming out of the east! what? impossible! sir! look! there's thousands of 'em! shit, they have big wings. the guns! they're pointed the wrong way! call in air mobile. on the double. yes, sir! and get me a gun. a great big gun.

sir, I'm detecting suspicious activity on the dock. what?! where? we can't have that! no, sir, we can't. the suspect is sitting over there. who? sir, it's more of a what. oh, yes. I see. guard! arrest that bird and bring him to me for questioning. yes sir!

we'll never hack through this. this stuff must have been here for hundreds of years. I don't care. the target is in there somewhere. but sir. . . start hacking. you'll do anything to get into a $1 movie, won't you? absolutely I've only seen it 3 times.

why are we stopping here? I dunno. but I feel something. feel what? like I'm about to get wasted. well, hey, don't forget about me too.

you spot him yet? yeah, he's down there, all right. what's he doing? he's opening the package. good. he alone? no. joey's there with him. too bad for joey. now what's happening? he's got it open. shit! he spotted it! what!? yeah. he found the device. shit! he disabled it! dammit, purvis! you told me it was foolproof! we better get outta here. boss is gonna be slightly peeved. right behind you.

lord, may I intrude? good evening, archangel. what's on your mind just reminiscing, lord. about the 60s. ah, yes. the 60s. what a fun time that was. quite an experiment, wasn't it? oh yes. creating a whole new species on earth? I'll say. they definitely left their mark, too. true. and I love the name I gave them. yes. hippies. a brilliant idea, lord. I thought maybe they'd replace humans. too bad that they didn't. in my opinion, I mean. I may agree with you there, archangel.

may I help you? yes, I'd like a room. sorry, we're all booked up. you're kidding! this place? what do you mean, this place? I mean, it looks like a WWII bunker. and your point is? well, I mean. I wouldn't think. . . that anyone would stay in a bunker? well. . . right. you're here, aren't you? yeah, but emotionally, I'm a 12-year old. we cater to an immature clientele, actually. oh. I see. well, can I play in the ammo locker? half hour. oh, goody.

hitchiking through the desert with my girlfriend, caught a ride with an old guy, driving a '57 chevy. stopped for the night, made a fire. slept in the sagebrush, under a million stars, joshua trees all around. her breathing next to me the only sound.

how are things today, lord? very well, archangel. how about you? they say that the earth is warming, lord. warming? how so? hydrocarbon emissions, greenhouse gases. oh yes, I remember. I engineered all that. you did? from the start? sure. as a safety valve. just in case. in case what, lord? in case humans outsmarted themselves on my earth. you mean. . . pride, archangel. what does it go before? the fall, lord? you got it. and they're going to fall hard. is there no hope for them? sure, but they'll have to save themselves. can't we help? I promised the cockroaches they could have it. you did? if humans screw up, it's bug city. but you already created the arcturans, lord. don't tell them. they'll get their feelers in a bunch. not pretty when that happens. unless you're a bug, of course. of course, lord.