Articles by Bee Orchid

Today, Friday, the Ship is being buffeted and blown about. Outside the sun is shining and we have fluffy clouds scudding across the sky, but get outside, and it’s a stiff breeze and none too warm either. Maybe later I’ll hang some laundry from the rigging. Still no word from the pensions people, and earlier in the week, I gave notice that I’ll need to access some of my treasure. I’ll have to chase them next week, preferably with a cutlass and threats of the plank. Makes me see red… Food ha…

No, it’s not a euphemism, or a profanity, it’s a description of what this pirate has been doing this past 2 days. The rain has finally stopped, a breeze has picked up, and the sun has finally shown itself. Friday was cloudy with sunny spells and a good breeze so the bedding was hoisted onto the rigging. Dried like a charm! Saturday was a fine day, and it was a day for dark clothes, followed by a towel load. Sunday has dawned bright and breezy again so more towels are in the machine to be hoisted…

As a not-so-scurvy pirate, I consider it my duty to make walk the plank all those that the authorities don’t consider worth catching, or are not able to due to lack of funds. I have a long list, and therefore a long line of scurvy dogs ready to walk the plank into shark infested waters. There are those that leave rubbish in bags for weeks knowing full well the bin crew won’t take it if it isn’t in a wheelie bin. After 2 weeks of walking past it, I carried it to my own bin and deposited it rat…

I’ve had a few… as the song goes. I did something today that I already regret, and as the day wears on, I know I’m going to regret it all the more. I was early for work, and it seemed a good idea at the time, and it only made me a few minutes late for work, but man it’s playing on my mind. It didn’t take long, and sometimes it’s those little things that play on our mind or our conscience all the more. My colleague saw it, and he says I’m an addict and that there’s not much hope for me. It’s no…

Saturday dawned clear and frosty and I did wonder about hanging the laundry from the rigging, but decided I’d wait until later. I dressed up, walked the Ship’s Dog, then decided to head out to the local shops. The lifeboat showed we had -2C here. Chilly! A couple of miles from the Ship, the temperature dropped to -3C. This ‘village’ is lower than ours, but is always a degree or two colder than ours. I don’t get it… Once I was in town the sun shone, the sky was blue, and I was feeling happy. T…

Rich I tell you! For years I’ve been sailing the seven seas (what does that actually mean?) looting and pillaging trying to make my fortune. I’ve seen off other pirates and landlubbers alike, dug for buried treasure on lonely tropical islands, made scurvy dogs walk the plank, and all I had to do was work hard to make my fortune. The Ship’s Dog is 8 today. Maybe I should buy him a diamond encrusted studded collar? Maybe he’d just eat it… I could buy a new ship, but I quite like this one and I…

On Wednesday I set out in the lifeboat to visit the Patriarch (stepdad) who is landlocked in a hospital bed following the discovery of a massive aortic abdominal aneurysm. We spent a couple of hours just chatting and eating cake and drinking coffee and despite the circumstances, it was nice to catch up with him. I don’t visit their home anymore due to numerous animals including 3 cats. I have a bad reaction to cats, so simply can’t enter their home anymore. The Patriarch is supposedly seeing a s…

This morning I arrived in work, at the correct start time, to find I was yet again, the only one here. I picked up a fire extinguisher from the hallway and smashed through the glass pane into my room. It’s always too hot in my office so this will let some fresh air in. I crept up the stairs to the first floor, and using the fire extinguisher as a weapon of mass destruction, proceeded to pound the living daylights out of our useless photocopier that only works when it feels like it. Next I laid i…

Recently I’ve had a narrow escape, or two. The first was when I was out in the car and taking the Cabin Boy to college. I was firmly on my side of the road and travelling within the speed limit of 30 miles an hour when a huge van came at me at speed, well over the line, and I had to swerve into the hedges at the side of the road. I cursed, and braked a little, and miraculously he missed me. I must have been visibly shaken as the Cabin Boy kept asking if I was all right. On a rare dry day I h…

Wednesday it was all hands on deck for another influx of hopeful pirate wannabes. The ship was being battered and soaked as I dropped off the Cabin Boy after first trying to stem a leak from the back door of the ship. I’m not kidding, the wind was so strong it was blowing the rain sideways; probably why my door leaked. I’d pulled back the rug, laid down some newspapers, and placed a plastic container under the drip (the rain not the Cabin Boy) and left, hoping for the best. The Cabin Boy was not…

Okay, that’s a slightly misleading title and could just as easily have been called Sins of the parent (Father). My son doesn’t have any food intolerances, thankfully, however he’s often intolerant of his food. He is so fussy regarding bacon that I now won’t cook it for him and he cooks it himself. I like back bacon, cooked enough, but not overcooked. He likes streaky bacon and he likes it crispy. He cooks it and cooks it hoping it will crisp up then complains it’s not crispy however it is burnt…

Today we’ve had a brief respite from the rain and even had a little watery sunshine. It’s set to rain again this evening, though Thursday is forecast to be a dry day which will make a nice change. I read that in the UK we’ve had the wettest winter since records began in 1910 and I can believe it; forget the ship; at this rate I’ll need an ark! Tuesday I ran a few hundred yards to my car, in torrential rain, with a good half inch of water streaming down the hill to my car. I steamed quietly whils…

Well, that’s another year over with. In the past, I’ve often been glad to see the back of a year but this past one wasn’t so bad at all. The Cabin Boy and I have our health, the Ship’s Dog has been good, mostly, and the Ship has been running relatively smoothly. On the home front the ship is holding up well against the relentless rain and I even stood on a chair and scrubbed at the returning mould on the ceiling. The attic is dry as a bone so I don’t know why we get the mould. The ship is ai…

Well, it’s Christmas Eve and Santa is supposed to be doing a drive-by tonight. Every year since we’ve been here, some local club has organised for Santa to drive his sleigh around the ‘village’ and deliver toys to pre-arranged addresses. It’s a pretty sight, and they collect money for charity too. This year though, it looks like being a wash-out. We’ve had rain for days on end now with just a brief respite yesterday when we had some sun and heavy showers. I’ve never known such a wet and miserabl…

As regular readers know, this pirate is on the lookout for a new cooker. Quite some time ago the oven door was sticking, and needed more and more force to open it. One day I opened the oven door, and part of the handle came off. I thought I could repair it, and so with screwdriver in hand, started to take apart the door to fix/replace the screw only to find that it’s a rivet that I’ve snapped. Now I can still use the oven, however I need a chunk of 4x4 to keep the door closed and it’s far from i…

Not so long ago I watched a program about The Carpenters, and more recently, a program about a group from the 70’s called 10 CC. I grew up with music like this, and these two groups/bands were my favourites. I enjoyed both programs immensely but it did leave me with a little tear of nostalgia for the simpler times I feel I had as a child. There were no mobile phones, no internet, and no home computers. If we wanted to see our friends outside of school time we made arrangements either in school,…

This pirate has had a very busy week, or two, and I’m counting down the weeks until my Christmas break. I survived the trip to the Dark Side and didn’t hit too many problems on the roads, however it added 90 minutes to my day. This is what I have to look forward to next year if I can’t find a way to get out of it. The workshops went pretty well and were well attended and I was glad I did it as it made me more confident about assisting with the workshops that I had to do closer to home. It was a…

Whether it’s swinging in my hammock, or curled up in the crow’s nest, it has to be said that this pirate likes her sleep. Of late, my sleep has been very disturbed due to stress about an upcoming event. That event has now past and it went pretty well. Not because we have fantastic kit that works well (ha ha) nor because I have a good support team to back me up. No, it was sheer hard work, sleepless nights, and even tears. Thank goodness it’s now Wednesday and I have a brief respite. I have anoth…