Articles by Bee Orchid

Okay, I’m officially sick to death of all this rain. Sunday we started the day with fog, then rain; same again on Monday. Since then it’s been wall to wall drizzle interspersed with heavy showers and I’ve had enough now. I know some parts of the world are desperate for some rain and believe me when I say I wish I could send you ours! Too much rain and not enough outdoor time starts to get me down… I read in the paper about some ‘research’ and I use the term loosely: Some research has been don…

Avast ye scurvy dogs, I’ve been landlocked! I’ve been awake since 3.30am and reading in my hammock. The ship is very still, and the Ship’s Dog and I can’t see further than about 100 metres due to dense white fog. Thankfully I stocked up on provisions yesterday because I wouldn’t even take out the lifeboat in weather like this. I found some great bargains on pasta, passata, and baked beans and have started to stock up a little in preparation for the bad winter that’s been forecast. If it doesn…

The Cabin Boy and I are still laid low with this rotten cold though I do feel as though we’re starting to turn a corner. He’s on half term this week so that will aid his recovery, whilst I managed to steal away from pirate duties for a 4 day weekend and I go back on Wednesday. I’ll then be counting down the weeks until I can have time off for Christmas holidays. I saw my friend on Saturday and hauled in a lovely looking piece of cod. I like big fish: cod, hake, and haddock. He prefers a small…

Well it’s Friday again and I’m genuinely thankful for that. I’m also grateful that I have a 4 day weekend to look forward to. This week has been an absolute nightmare with installed software ‘vanishing’ from laptops, and things not working correctly. I’d spent a whole day recently, as mentioned before, setting up some laptops. They worked fine. On Thursday I went to show a student how to use the software, and it had all disappeared from the laptops, all 4 of them! I managed to show her what she…

As regular readers will know, the person I job share half of my contract with has decided, out of the blue, that he doesn’t want to play anymore. I recently asked when they’ll be replacing him, and true to form, I wasn’t given a straight answer. Basically I still have to cover all my own full time work and his half post too. And people wonder why I’m thinking of quitting or taking early retirement? Anyway, this colleague assured me he’d done some software installations and that all should be oka…

Like any good pirate I enjoy a little looting and piracy and if I can raise the Jolly Roger and sack a new ship, well so much the better. It takes all the fun out it, however, if someone raises the alarm. Sunday was just such a time. I’d gone on a raid, anchored the ship and took out the lifeboat; it wasn’t too busy and I had fun swashbuckling my way around the place, leaping from aisle to aisle, and generally causing mayhem on a quiet Sunday afternoon. My arms were full of tasty products just v…

With a scream of defiance I swung from the yardarm and slashed at those who think I deserve no consideration or politeness. I waved my cutlass under the noses of those that are trying to work me to death, regaling them with imprecations I dare not repeat in the written form. A few tried to dodge away but I swiftly hauled my pistol from my silk cummerbund, waved it at them threateningly, and forced them to back into a corner. Pistol in one hand, cutlass in the other, I demanded they stand on the…

I know I bang on about this sometimes, but manners really do maketh the man/woman in my opinion. I’ve recently had two students bang on my door and ask where a particular room was. Neither said please, or thanked me for the information. I set up some iPads for taking the register and emailed the team responsible; you guessed it, no thanks. I also lugged some kit across the campus for a team that I don’t even work for; our team kindly loaned them some kit. I emailed to say I’d done it; not a sing…

The world has officially gone mad: “The Times highlights moves by students at the University of East Anglia to ban sombreros after it was decided they were offensive.” WTF? On channel 5 on Saturday, there are 3 Christmas movies scheduled, a Christmas Special by Michael Buble, and a program called My Christmas Obsession. In October? I enjoy a low key Christmas as much as the next person but in October? I think not! I couldn’t help but notice on Saturday that Lidl already has a load of Chri…

“On the evening of September 27, three separate lunar events converge. The total eclipse coincides with the full moon nearest the fall equinox, known as the harvest moon. What's more, the moon is at its closest approach to Earth for the year, making it also a supermoon or perigee moon. That’s why it's being coined by some as a Super Harvest Blood Moon” – Taken from: news.nationalgeographic.com For those of you that missed the memo, it also signifies the end of the world (again). The conspirac…

There’s a new game in town, and it’s called pass the buck lol. Usually I’ll go out of my way to help people in work, however now that I’m covering my colleagues job as well as my own it’s time for some self-preservation. I recently helped someone with a query, and it got me a ton of work that I could well do without. This week alone I’ve had 3 people try and foist some work onto me but instead of doing it, I’ve passed it up the chain. Basically someone hasn’t planned their work, at all, and they…

On Friday my sister rang and said ‘I need to vent.’ I inwardly groaned, said I’d call her back, and hung up. I don’t like to ‘chat’ on my mobile so rang her back from a landline. Well, for 40 minutes she just ranted. At one point I had to hold the phone away from my ear because she was getting louder and louder. When I was married, my MIL used to receive calls from a Mrs R. She’d put the phone down, go and put the kettle on, pick up the phone, say ‘Oh dear’ then walk off and do something else, t…

The pirate wannabes are due back any week now, and the pressure is mounting here. Today I’ve had to deal with 41 emails so far, and it’s getting on my nerves. It would be so much easier if someone would just call a damn meeting, or even pick up the phone to discuss requirements, but no; they need an email trail. Half the time I can’t help anyway: how many cutlasses do we need? How much do they cost? Where will they be stored? Beats the hell out of me! I spend more time fielding queries than actu…

On the news recently were the results of a trial detailing the benefits of a lunchtime nap. Apparently during a lunchtime nap, your blood pressure drops by around 6%, and afterwards, your BP has still dropped by around 4%. Good news indeed for those of us that do like a nap in the day. I confess after working shifts, in the past for 14 years, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, and sometimes do! They’re going to widen the experiment and are looking for more participants to take part in a muc…

I recently had my yearly pensions update and I have to say, it’s not looking too bad. As part of the statement, they list the death benefit that my nominated person (my son in my case) would receive should I die in service, and it’s pretty damn good. Each year I try and ensure that my son knows that this money would be his, and how to claim it, should anything happen to me. Each year he doesn’t want to know and actually gets a little cross with me for bringing it up. I understand nobody wants to…

After what seems like ages, we’ve finally had some sunshine and a little dry weather in my part of Wales. It’s rained every single day, some days all day, until Thursday afternoon when we had a few hours of watery sunshine. Friday was a nice day too, and Saturday is shaping up well so far. Mind you, the rain is set to return on Sunday. Deep joy! On Monday I visited my sister for a couple of hours, then went and had lunch with my friend/landlord. It was nice to catch up with him, and we had a…

On Thursday afternoon I had to go to our other campus to see some wannabe pirates. I’d had enough of scurvy dogs that morning so decided to anchor the ship and take a tug boat in to town. Not a bad journey in that I only waited 5 minutes for a tug. I got to the site in plenty of time to have a free coffee and biscuit, always a bonus, and set myself up ready. They came in dribs and drabs which isn’t ideal for an exam but we got there and only one failed which is excellent for recruitment. When…

Usually I’m the klutz and have dropped any number of items including glass ware. Barely a day goes by when I haven’t dropped something and I seem to have trouble some days feeling what I’m touching. I must get a check-up. Anyway, over the past few days, it’s been my son spilling things. He rang me on Friday and announced that the salt cellar flew out of the cupboard when he opened the door. It bounced off the dog, poor thing, and shattered on to the floor. Shame really, as I’d not long filled it…