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dude! heard those warnings? better take cover. what warnings? could be a missile attack! we gotta get to the bunker! they may be using nukes! but I'm not done sorting the cannon balls! forget the damn cannon balls, man! we could get fried standing around out here! that does it! I'm gonna prime the 32-pounder. they won't know what hit 'em. are you listening? a 32-pound cannon ain't gonna stop a damn missile! there's that word again. what's a missile? and. . . . nukes? are you, like, new here? hmm. could be hand-to-hand fighting. better sharpen my bayonet. your what? you got any extra musket powder? can't be too prepared, you know.

badges? we ain't got no badges. we don't need no badges. we don't have to show you any stinkin' badges.

good evening, sir. yes, I'd like a room, please. of course. actually, the penthouse suite is available at the moment. oh? yes. the sunsets there are quite special. sounds perfect. very good. mind the pigeons though. pigeons? yes, they occupy much of the sub-roof structure. or what once was a sub-roof structure. when there was a roof. I'll keep that in mind. excellent. did you bring a bedroll? bedroll? the exposed rebar tends to get a little chilly at night. I see. quite sharp, too. mind it doesn't penetrate the skin. good advice.

good morning, herr doktor. ah, my boy! I have news! what now, doktor? with my new discovery, I will completely overtake the field of entomology! wow. that's great! ha ha! those cretinous insect nerds will bow before me now! the only problem is that I have a deathly fear of spiders. uh, doktor. spiders are not insects. what? excellent! world domination is ensured! such. . . humility. indeed! another example of my perfection!

what's up curtis? oh, hey, vern. here. I brought you some nachos. thanks. you gonna eat some too? for sure. ok. I think I'll start banging on this piece of wood. you making something? nah. but listening to you chewing bugs the shit out of me. ha ha. wait. for real? yeah. oh. well, I totally relate. in fact, maybe you should fire up one of them power tools. that's what I'm thinking.

he's here. who's here? you know. no he's not. yes he is. I can feel it. hey, don't kid around about something like that. you're freaking me out. I'm not kidding. he told me he'd be here, and he is. he told you? how? he sent me a text. you text with him? are you friends? he has no friends. I told him I'd bring him a treat. treat? what kind of treat? you. I'm the treat? are you nuts? maybe. but don't turn around. why not? you're not gonna like what you're about to see.

hey, merle, hiya vern. um, I see you got fire comin' out your chimney top there. yeah. what's your point? oh, nothin'. roasting marshmallows again? kids love it. kinda lights up the neighborhood too. is that a thank you vern? uh. . . yeah! don't mention it.

well, Shirley, this is it! this is what, Harry? our little love nest! this? it's little all right, but. . . don't you adore it? how are we both gonna fit in there? easy! um. . . we can lose some weight! we, Harry? me! I mean me!

now, where did you say you saw this, young lady? right there, officer. I saw it. and what exactly did you see? ooh, it was gigantic. and fast. and that poor swimmer. . . there was a swimmer? yes, and he had no chance. the thing was huge. what happened to him? he just disappeared. it was like he was bait. bait, you say? swimming in his clothes? who does that? and, well, my uncle, he's sort of a scientist? what kind of scientist? well, he does things with genetics? invents things. what kinds of things? like genetic mutations? huge sea monsters, I guess. sea monsters. and how about the swimmer? did you know him? oh. he was a reporter, for the local paper. and this was your uncle? did I say that? yes. my. . . uncle. he didn't like him snooping around the lab. I see. and now the reporter's gone? oh, yes. very gone. for good, I'm sure. and where's your, ah, uncle? oh, he had to leave. isn't it a beautiful day? yes, it is. well thanks again, miss. anytime, officer.

this walk just doesn't seem the same anymore. the towers might be gone, but you're still here, thank god. thank you, sweetie. I feel the same about you.

what time is it? I think it's time to eat. why, are you hungry? always, when I'm around you.

the firing mechanism is jammed, sir. that's unacceptable, private. it's just that the gun is overheating. lots of targets, eh kid? I've never seen so many! consider yourself lucky to be here. even if it is an alien invasion. but what if they, you know. . . win? then you can consider yourself lunch. don't want that, sir. no, not so much.

you know what I think? pretty much. really? uh huh. that's good.

can we go up? no way. why do you ask? I thought I heard the all-clear signal. well I didn't hear it. man, we been down here so long. go on up there then. you don't wanna? and start to glow at night? no thanks. even for a coffee run? fine. bring me an iced latte. you want whole milk with that? de-irradiated? is that even a thing? guess not. think I'll pass. yeah, me too.

hold this light. there's some good stuff in here. sparky, this is dangerous. we get caught, we're dead! oh my god! look at this! ford is gonna flip out! what is it? all of chevy's secrets! I don't believe it! what do you see? they're bringing back fins! fins I tell you! no way! ford will pay big bucks for this, dude. so, uh, why do these boxes say '1957 parts'? what? they do? oh. 1957. oh. big bucks? maybe not so big.

what's this? new infrastructure! it's just a pile of rocks! the most beautiful one you've ever seen! so? toll please. toll? his company now owns the beach. no way! the beach is public! infrastructure improvement comes with a price, I'm afraid. what about the lake? it's for club members only. I can't believe it. another campaign promise kept! great.

know what I've decided? I can't imagine. I've decided that existence precedes essence. you need existence to have essence. it has to already exist. well aren't you the brilliant one. chew on this: I think that anguish is the dread of the nothingness of human existence. you mean the meaningless of it? you got it. it's all absurd. so existence is absurd. that's it. there's no excuses, and nothing that structures our existence. got it. there's no essence that things are drawn from. right, because existence precedes essence. which leaves us with. . . nothing. exactly. well I'm glad we got that figured out. now will you get me a cup of coffee? you want anything in it? nothing. nothing at all.

what year is this. and what is she doing? we've gone a long way back in time. she's talking on the phone. what, in that little compartment? yes. what's that snaky looking metal thing? that's the phone cord. it connects the receiver to the phone. why doesn't she just use her cell? she musta forgot it, right? she don't have one. they weren't invented yet. what? no cell phones? kind of shocking, isn't it? practically barbaric. how did the human race survive? just lucky, I guess. good thing we can return to our time. no shit. this is downright depressing. she's kinda cute though, for being so backward. she'll appreciate that sentiment, I'm sure.