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what am I doing here? it's just routine. face the wall. am I being arrested? no further questions. I was just walking by. we know. empty your pockets. I think maybe I need a lawyer. that's against the rules. what rules? it's all in today's tweet. tweets aren't rules. they are now.

hello lord. I've missed you. I had things to do, archangel. on earth. anything I should know about lord? not really. I paid my creatures a little visit. how did they receive you? oh, I didn't reveal myself. heavens no. then what did you do? oh, just had some fun. they are a gullible lot. you didn't. . . play tricks on them, did you? me? I am the lord. I have more important things to do. that's a relief. but I did leave a few hints that I'd been around. you did? yes. a few, er, burnt-out hints.. you can sometimes be so. . . unpredictable. my middle name. well, if I had a name, of course. of course.

I'm here for my beauty treatment. certainly, just take a seat. is this for the two of you? what do you mean? I mean you and your little friend. no. he just had a facial. looks good, doesn't he? totally cute. I think so too.

isn't it a beautiful evening, edna? yes, stanley. but must you keep tickling me? I'm not tickling you, edna. well there's nobody else here! hmmm. is it just my imagination, or are those trees kind of. . . twitching? they do seem to be in some sort of harmony, don't they? you think that they're, I don't know, communicating? that can't be. but I'm pretty sure this leafy branch poking me in the side wasn't here before. it's kinda cute. maybe it wants you to share your popsicle. you think so? I honestly have no idea, edna.

hello lord. didn't expect to find you in here. just cleaning out a few old relics, archangel. things do tend to pile up, don't they. what do you have there? oh, just something I played around with a while ago. I was going to unleash it on earthlings, actually, for failing miserably to make good use of the gifts I've given them. it's kind of fierce looking. what would it have done? well, quite simply, it would have rained death, destruction and chaos on earth, I should think. did you change your mind? well, for awhile there I had hoped humans would evolve into a higher species. worthy of my efforts on their behalf. a higher species? you don't mean. . . yes. hippies. my best work. it looked like things were improving. too bad they didn't last. indeed. so, I've taken a new interest in this. . . fascinating creature. I think I'll let it loose on humans after all. and then what, lord? well, to put it mildly, then the proverbial shit will hit the proverbial fan. sounds like that might be fun. between us celestial beings, archangel. . . yes,lord? having fun is what it's all about.

stanley, there's something up there. nonsense, edna. it's just a bridge. I know I saw something stanley. hey, what was that noise? stanley! LOOK OUT! OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IS THAT THING?! stanley! I want to go home! now! just as soon as I get loose from these tentacles, dear.

something is giving me the creeps. really? I don't know why; we're the only ones here. it's not this place. maybe. . . maybe it's you. what? you're afraid of me? me? afraid of you? that's a laugh. ok, that's better. just don't come any closer.

we're meeting the new guy here, boss. you ever meet him? nope. so how we gonna know it's him? he said it'll be obvious. yeah? how? I got no idea. damn. I hate surprises. me too.

slave! I need you! yes, lord Anubis. how may I serve you? it's my palace! look at it! lord? can't you see? it's decrepit! totally unfit for a god such as myself! but lord, you just hosted a mammoth party for our great pharaoh, and he was so impressed! he was? and remember: you are the god of the dead! your palace should reflect some amount of. . . shall I say. . . decay? even. . . rot? hmmm. you really think so? I do, lord! it's you! it's so very you! well, if it's me. how about if I prepare a nice glass of embalming fluid for you, lord. yes, that may help calm me. I'll fetch your favorite mummy too. oh good. her wrapping's not too tight, is it? no, lord. I do so love unraveling her. it's reaching that last layer. it makes me just. . . tingle with anticipation. how exciting for you, lord.

wake up! who's hungry!? who do you think? all of us. well, I say let's cook up something to eat! great idea. where are we gonna do that? in the kitchen, of course! ok. so, not to be picky or anything, but do you mean the modern dream-home kitchen of the future? um. . . yeah! the one with all the latest, up-to-date appliances and shit? that's the one! cool. I'm going back to sleep. don't wake me til I find it.

darling, it's a great day for a walk, don't you think? sorry, not now. I'm too busy with spring clean-up. ok. what time will you be finished? you mean what year, don't you? uh, year? and move your car. it's blocking the garbage hauler.

sergeant, the general is inspecting today. I want the men looking sharp in drill. it has to go like clockwork. and I mean perfect. this place will be in tip-top shape, sir. does that include your quarters, sergeant? they're a tiny bit messy sir. partied a little too hard last night. messy? it looks like a bomb went off in here! why don't we tell the general it's our explosives lab, sir? maybe he'll want to blow something up himself. you think so? easier than cleaning it. sir. good point, sergeant.

ticket, please, sir. ticket? I don't have a ticket. I'm sorry, then, but I can't allow you into the theater. there's something happening here? oh yes. our annual musical fling! really? but this place is. . . a burned out shell! yes, we pride ourselves on realistic set design. say. are you really an usher? of course! and come to think of it, I do have one available seat in the balcony. great! mind the rusty bolts. bolts? they can be somewhat uncomfortable on the, uh, buttocks. oh. do you have, ah, seat cushions? I do! that'll be $50. when does the show start? as soon as I have the money! I mean, momentarily, sir.

welcome to the 14th floor, smithers. thank you sir. I'm honored by the promotion. you're an executive now, smithers. here is your executive washroom key. don't abuse the privilege. I wouldn't think of it, sir. in other words, keep it zipped up, smithers. except when in appropriate use, of course. of course, sir. mind the mirrored ceilings. and the towel girls. towel girls? there's. . . towel girls? we're all about provding jobs here, smithers. very commendable, sir. but I. . . I think I have to use the bathroom now, if that's ok. certainly, smithers. most of us find that we do. all the time.

take a look at this, my boy. what is it, herr doktor? you need to first know what it is not! huh? obviously, it appears to be a fabricated industrial foundry mold, inexplicably wedded to an ordinary piece of automotive equipment. it does? which is exactly what it is not! the unknown designer cleverly concealed a sophisticated machine of enormous importance! a veritable palimpsest! what? my rigorous testing has revealed that this mysterious object holds the key to controlling the speed of light! and specifically, how to stop light in its tracks! ha ha! gee. these numbers contain the crucial code: "66861-0" uh, doktor, I think the numbers are actually 66851-0. what's that? mein gott! you're right! is that important? important? good thing I didn't pay for this worthless piece of junk. you mean, no palimpsest? no. but how about a vodka martini instead. should I make it. . . a double. very good, my boy.

thanks for letting me wear your shirt. I like it. me too. really? on you? totally.

good morning, herr doktor. ah, there you are, my boy. come, sit here. what are we working on today? it's my latest breakthrough in cryptozoology! drink this. crypto. . . ? down the hatch! that's my boy. what did I just drink? you'll know when you start to grow fangs and lots and lots of hair! what. . . ? wait while I attach these manacles. can't be too careful! doktor. I feel. . . weird. secure! just in time! GRRRRR! what did I just say? it's alive! ha ha! RRROWW-RRRROWWWFFFF! just like that, another new species! I really must congratulate myself. AAAOOOOOO! no, no. it's a little early for lunch. but your replacement will be here soon. how does that sound? RRRREEE! good. I'm pleased too.

whatcha doin', Marcel? sup, Izzy. I'm communing with nature. yeah? how's that workin' out? great, thanks. whaddya want? I don't want nothin'. the boss wants to see ya. what about? you think he tells me? he just says do it. ok, I'll be right there. meaning, now, right? meaning, soon as I finish communing here. hey, commune this: don't piss off the boss. yeah, yeah. ok. nature ain't gonna save your sorry butt if you do. well, not when you interrupt me like that, she ain't. tell her it couldn't be helped. I will. but I don't think she'll listen.