Expressions that defy logic:

I can’t thank you enough – Did you even try?

I’m speechless, I don’t know what to say, I’m speechless – Yet you keep talking.

I can’t tell you how much I love you – Why not? Could you try?

I don’t believe in guns – But they exist! They’re real!

You’ve no idea how I feel – Then tell me, I’m not psychic.

I don’t know how to thank you – Open your mouth and say thank-you.

There’s no call for it – Yet here I am, asking for this item.

Midlands driving:

Green light means Go. Amber/yellow light means Go faster. Red light means Stop, but only if you have time, otherwise just keep driving through.

No Entry sign – a pretty red circle with an attractive line through it. Surely that can’t possibly mean you can’t drive down this road.

No Right Turn – This sign means turning right here is difficult but not impossible.

One Way sign – Okay if you’re only driving one way. Why would you drive two ways?

Correct response to someone (me) flashing you when you’ve carved me up – slam on brakes and almost cause a collision, then manfully drive away at speed. I was impressed! Not…

Tailgating, despite being against the law, is a game often practised here.

Pedestrians – You get points for hitting them, don’t you?

Double Yellow Lines (no parking) - Pretty yellow lines aren’t they. I shall cover them with my car.

I’m not saying all drivers here are bad, however I’ve not come across such appalling road usage before, as here in the Midlands. A lot of them are freaking nuts!

Petty annoyances:

Town centres that don’t have a single bus company; they have multiple independents, nor a single pricing system, nor timetables on the bus stands.

Companies that state an item is in stock and available, and when you drive 5 miles to get it, find they no longer stock it but can’t get off their a*se and update their website. And businesses wonder why people shop online?

Grown-up children who don’t have time to help menu plan, nor help with the shopping, then decide the day before that they don’t like what’s on the menu.

Me? Irritated? LMAO

Have a good week :)