Almost a year ago, I bought myself a steamer for the microwave, with gift money from my retirement. Can you believe it’s been almost a year! Anyway, we used it a lot and my son liked it so much that I bought him the same one for when he started university. Yesterday, he sent me a photo of said steamer, showing it had melted in the microwave. He’s used this quite a lot, and never had any issues with it. Used it exactly the same as previously, and it melted beyond use and filled the kitchen with acrid smoke. He threw it out the patio door to cool before consigning it to the bin. This isn’t his first kitchen incident since moving away. Another time, whilst being very sleepy, he put a plastic container in the oven instead of the microwave. He had ‘fun’ cleaning up that mess. He’s also burned a saucepan, though after some soaking and elbow grease, did manage to clean it.

We were laughing at his mishaps (Skype) and were then laughing at some of mine to make him feel better. I’ve also almost destroyed a pan after being distracted and letting potatoes boil dry. That pan took ages to soak and clean and it still bears some ‘damage’ to the coating. I’ve cremated a baguette on two different occasions. One time, I knocked it down the back of the oven onto the flames of the gas cooker. Retrieving that was a fun time though I maintain they weren’t burnt beyond use, but Cajun style (blackened lol). I’ve caught my arm on the oven racks and still bear the scars from this, having done it twice before learning my lesson. I’ve had an iron burst into flames as I was using it. That was bizarre! Thankfully my son was home at the time, and he unplugged it, and opened the back door whilst I held the iron aloft, spitting flames. It was left in the garden, in the rain, to cool before being binned. I’ve cut my thumb so badly on a mandolin that I now have a small patch on my thumb that has no feeling; presumably I damaged a nerve (no, I wasn’t using the guard, but do now, every time). I’ve fallen out of bed and though there was no lasting damage, I did ache for days – I toss and turn a lot at night, turned over in bed, and found there was no more bed and hit the floor; quite hard.

Back in the 80’s, my husband banned me from opening tins of corned beef. They seemed to be ‘spring loaded’ and would bounce back and catch and slice the fingers of those daft enough to eat the stuff (wouldn’t touch it now, but back then, it was a cheap meal). I also had an ‘incident’ with some china that broke, and I managed to sever a tendon. The resultant scar to find and repair the tendon is quite something. I banged my knee badly whilst cycling. The bicycle chain snapped whilst going up a steep hill, my knee slammed into the handlebars, and within minutes, I had a lump the size of an egg on my knee. To this day, it still gives me trouble, especially in the cold, damp weather.

I have 3 scars on my head from falling off a chair when I was very young. I have others, though they were inflicted on me by childhood mishaps one of which involved half a house brick thrown at me by a ‘friend’ so that one wasn’t my fault. I have a scar on my arm, from a friend’s dog that managed to get out and savage me, so again, not my fault and over time, this one has faded quite a lot.

When I vouchsafe that I’m a klutz I’m told not to put myself down, but the evidence is clear! Sometimes I’m amazed that I’ve lasted this long LMAO

Just a bit of fun, and a laugh, in some difficult times…