Arkitektura

this is your ride home. where? all I see is this pointy building. it IS the building, you moron. now move it. and don't forget to show your ticket. what? I gotta have a ticket to get home? don't tell me you didn't bring it. yes, you need a ticket and you altair4 photo ID. shit! can't I just take off my mask and show that it's the real me? you're on earth, idiot. we can't risk having your tentacles waving around in front of these humans. hey, they might like it. right. next in line!

are you sure this is the place? this is the place. it's perfect. I dunno. there doesn't seem to be alot of people. they'll come. trust me. but we had to crawl through tunnels to get here. once they hear about the product, they'll come. here? for a pizza by the slice business? I tell you they'll be beating down the doors. doors? what doors? hmmm. good point.

he went in there. what do you want we should do about it? you follow him. where are you gonna be? going to find a latte. sounds good. if there's one down that way. I ain't climbing.

which way now? you go left. I'll go right. it's in here somewhere. it better be. if it gets out, we're in bad trouble. no kidding. shoot to kill. no mistakes. right. there won't be a second chance. and try not to damage the building either. it's an historical gem. you're not very demanding, are you? no I'm not. thanks for noticing.

can I make one? well, I'm not sure. we already have plenty, as you can see. oh, come on. don't hog all the fun. all right. but do you know how? sure! I mean, they have a very basic purpose, right? true. human storage. very basic. so what's the big deal? I'll just make a few. ok, but don't forget the twinkly lights. the humans like them. in fact, they insist on them. they are a shallow race, aren't they? tasty though. especially when stored properly. exactly.

lord, may I interrupt? yes, archangel, what is it? we received a card from ba'al, lord. a card? as in a greeting card? yes, lord. I didn't even know we had mail delivery here. yes. strange. well, what does it say? he wants to know if you're happy with the car. what car? you know, the used mercury you bought from him a while ago. I only did that to get him off my back! yes, well it's called customer relations, lord. ba'al, the former feared god of the canaanites, now worries about customers? that's what used car salesmen do, lord. I suppose. shall I respond? god, no. toss it. isn't that somewhat rude, lord? the customer is always right, archangel. is that really so, lord? it is when I'm the customer. that's hard to argue, lord. thought you'd agree.

which one is it? the tall one, over there. how can you tell? I know. I designed it. no kidding? and that's just one of many. hundreds. it might as well be invisible. that's the idea. a missile. disguised as a building. how cool is that. it's ancient technology now, of course. yes, but these humans. . . have not a single clue . good for us, eh? yes, very good. we launch at dawn. I'll be up early. me too.

lord, a moment? yes, archangel? what is it? a housekeeping matter, lord. the gates. what about them? they are in need of a little work, I'm afraid. what do you mean? they've served for millenia. exactly, lord. they are getting a little. . . worn. well, many souls have passed through them. yes, you have been very generous about that. what, you think I should up my standards? well, you let all those hippies in. like every single one. I've told you. hippies were my greatest creation. yes, yes, as you've told me many times. they were a new life form on earth. but nobody appreciated them. well, anyway, the gates? if they need work, then see to it. that's your job. but who should I get to do it? how about that architect, gaudi? gaudi? really lord? sagrada familia. good stuff. do it. it's your call, lord. damn right, archangel.

what's in there? doesn't look friendly. that's where I go to find the meaning of life. yeah, so what's it mean? the meaning is in the search. didn't you know that? how would I know? I'm married. oh, right.

stanley! someone's at the door. I'll go check. who is it? edna, did you order a pizza? not me! maybe they got the wrong address. maybe. have him go across the street. the neighbors aren't home. they're in europe, with their entire kitchen staff I might add. well aren't they the generous ones! yes, it's a sacrifice, but they endure. impressive. really. just pay the guy, stanley, and let's eat. good idea.

I'm moving in here. check it out. are you nuts? the place is a bombed out toxic nightmare. right up my alley then. well, don't expect me to come over for dinner. when you do, you can bring the beer. I'm telling you, man, it's not gonna happen. see you at the housewarming party. you're gonna have a party? here? yeah, and your girlfriend's coming. my. . . ok, I'll bring the beer. now you're talkin'.

before you open that door. . . what? just be aware. once you enter, you may never come out. what are you talking about? just beware. I'll wait for you out here. oh, sure. I'm going in there alone? no way, man. you must. it is your destiny. what the hell is in there? you must learn that for yourself. forget it, dude! be calm. but be ready. for anything. man, you are freaking me out! here. take my weapon. you may need it. jesus christ, man! it's a museum! not after hours, it's not. don't forget to duck.

welcome to the hotel, sir. I hope you enjoy your stay. I have a top-floor suite reserved, fully stocked. I'm sorry, the top floor is. . . inaccessible. you mean the elevator is out? well, the stairs too. . . I'm afraid. how odd. we have a very nice room on the first floor though. carpeted? er, no. but very nice wooden planks. stocked bar? not today, I'm afraid. but the river is very close by. how's the air conditioning? air conditioning? it should be. . . quite breezy. that is, if the, you know, boards, have been removed from the window openings. maybe I should check this room out for myself. certainly. but watch for the holes in the floor. holes? after all, your comfort and safety are the top priority of this establishment. glad to hear it. no problem, sir.

turn the car around. I gotta go back home. what? why? I gotta check to see if I left the lights on. dude, you turned them off. I saw you. I'm not sure. I have to go back. turn around. but that's crazy! I saw you! well, I may not have locked the door. what is this with you? it's my OCD. drives me nuts. can't you just trust me? I do. but I'm also not sure I washed my hands.

edna, have you seen my platinum rolex? look in your closet, dear. which closet? I've looked in 2 so far. I'm sure they're with your other rolexes. I can only find 6 of them, but not the platinum. use a different one then. it'll turn up. but I like that one, edna. I'm quite vexed. life is full of tough choices, stanley. I know, edna, but sometimes it gets so hard to cope. you're strong, stanley. that's why I married you. how about the gold and onyx one? that'll do nicely. where are you wearing it to? out back. but I want the platinum, so I match the patio furniture. I'm sure the other one will be fine, stanley. well, ok. if you're sure. that's the strong man I love. you'll call me if you find it, won't you? yes, dear.

it had to go. bullshit it did. tearing it down is a total waste. you want to save it, you should have bought it. yeah, well the seller was unreasonable. who was it? wait, don't tell me it was. . . yeah, it was. ba'al. that canaanite asshole ex-god. I should have known. how he got his evil claws on it, I'll never know. there was nothing I could do. except watch it come down. that sucks. yeah, and to make it worse, my shoes are still in there. bummer.

it's down there. what is? the boat. they brought it in here to work on it, but sank it. so what are we going to do? not me. you. you're going in. strip. the package is by the wheel. what? you want me to search underwater for that thing? the water is nice. you'll enjoy it. what about sharks? there's no sharks here. trust me. oh, that's a relief. lots of mines, though. don't detonate any. I don't want to lose the package. the package? what about me? you either, I suppose. you are so caring. yeah I know. don't come back without it.

let's go. everything's on sale today. what's your rush? we don't need anything. that's not the point. it's on sale. we have to buy. you realize you are a tool of the capitalists, right? maybe, but I like buying new things. you don't own those things. they own you . yeah? what's your point? oh forget it. let's go. I want to beat the crowds. me too.