Stockade

what are all these civilians doing here, corporal?
civilians? they're, ah, tourists, captain. sir.
tourists? in this military facility? ridiculous!
ah, yes sir. we're, ah, decommissioned, sir.
what? on whose orders? we could be under siege at any moment! that's why we have our cannons trained on the. . . on the. . . . where the hell are all our cannons?
um, probably taken to a museum? or melted down? or something.
why wasn't I informed of this!?
it's all on the fort's web site, sir.
web site, did you say? what's a web site? I want those cannons back. AND our cannon balls! do you understand me, corporal?
yes, sir. can't have one without the other, sir. I guess.
the very idea! send a telegram! President Hayes needs to be informed! what is this world coming to?