Some of you may not remember, or even know, that my brother died in May 2009. He committed suicide and it was a very traumatic time for us. He was a lovely man, just very troubled and we had no idea that he was thinking along these lines.

Mum & Paul in the sun


This is a picture of him with my Mum. Okay it was about 20 years ago, but this is how I like to remember them both.

Well when he died, the cost of his funeral expenses came to a whopping £3,500 which was an amount I just didn't have. The Government paid £1,000 towards it but it still meant I owed £2,500.

Luckily the funeral home had a scheme whereby you paid so much a month, and they would continue to look after him. So an arrangement was made and time went by.

Last week I had a letter from them saying that they had been going through their books and they found out that I had overpaid them by £90!! So could I please stop my bank paying any more money to them and they would repay the overpayment directly into my bank.

This afternoon a very nice young man arrived bearing a prettily decorated bag with my brother in it!! So my brother's last wishes have been finalised. He wanted to be with our Mum.

Now my Mum is upstairs because I really didn't know where to put her. It may sound odd to some, but I wanted to put her with Dad, who's was interred in the churchyard in Appledore, but my Mum didn't put up a headstone and I just can't find him. So then I thought of scattering her ashes over the Tors, a favourite place of hers, but then I thought what would happen if I couldn't go there to visit her? So I thought - the garden - she loved her garden so much, but there again, what if I was to sell the house? I wouldn't be able to visit her, so there was only one thing left for it.......she could stay with me. My brother was quite happy to have her with us and it gave us a lot of comfort.

Now my brother is home and he's with my Mum as he wanted to be. Trouble is...........it's getting very crowded upstairs!!!!