safe house

My Life Is in Ruins


safe house

05 Jun 2008 12 1 2189
watcha wanna do today, marty? I dunno, mikey. watchoo wanna do? wanna steal some h-bomb secrets? again? nah, I can't. mom says I gotta be home. yeah. me too I guess. tomorrow though? ok, sure.

free enterprise

07 Mar 2010 7 7 1499
are you sure this is the place? this is the place. it's perfect. I dunno. there doesn't seem to be alot of people. they'll come. trust me. but we had to crawl through tunnels to get here. once they hear about the product, they'll come. here? for a pizza by the slice business? I tell you they'll be beating down the doors. doors? what doors? hmmm. good point.

fifth column

07 Mar 2010 10 10 2058
sergei, the chairman believes that we have a traitor in our midst. impossible comrade! I can vouch for every soul. maybe so, sergei. but who will vouch for. . . you? me? won't you, comrade? there was a time when I would, sergei. but unfortunately, that is no longer possible. what do you mean? I mean, you are going away, old friend. away? where? you will be reacquainted with those you helped send to the gulag. you can't be serious! send them my regards. I will see you in 20 years. do they have wi-fi there? they have all the conveniences, I'm sure. that's a relief. not for you, of course. oh. of course.

the power behind the throne

03 Oct 2010 21 12 1537
I have a job interview today, dear. oh? who with? I answered an ad in the paper. not sure who it is. it just says 'looking for healthy males under age 30.' to do what? dunno. but you have to have a 'good soul.' sole? like the sole on a shoe? dunno. maybe it's for salesmen. I need a job. give it your all, dear. I intend to. all I have. if they'll take it.

arsenal of democracy

03 Oct 2010 13 6 1295
gimme the phone, would ya, joey? sure, boss. who ya calling? I wanna order a tank. what kinda tank, boss? you know, like a army tank. from the factory. you can't do that, boss. you can't order a tank. why not? I got the money. I want a tank. so who ya gonna call? the tank dealer? I'm calling the factory, and I'm placing my order. boss, that factory don't exist no more. whaddya mean, don't exist. I seen it. you seen what's left of it, that's all. it's a ruins now. that's it. shit. so what about my tank? I'll call eddie. he's got a connection. yeah? he knows someone with tanks? his guy's got all of that, don't worry. I knew I did the smart thing, hiring you, joey. just don't try and drive it in the street, ok boss? hey, I don't even have a driver's license. probably a good thing, too. but I would like a yellow one. I'll do my best. good boy, joey.

B Side

23 Jul 2011 29 13 1248
play something for me, will you? what would you like to hear? oh, something uplifting and hopeful. you mean ironic, in other words. you might say that. I just did.

hour of the wolf

07 Mar 2010 15 5 1689
I hear 'em. they're close. stay away from the window. they'll see you. hell, they can smell us anyway. we're fucked. don't say that. we've got a chance. two chances, actually: slim and none. man, that howling drives me nuts. sounds like there's hundreds of them out there. probably are. and all hungry. hungry for humans. the few of us left alive. just stay low. maybe they'll wander off. I don't think so. too bad the ammo ran out, eh? old news. get your knife out. wish I had two of 'em. ok man. this is it. they're here. get ready. I don't think the sun's coming up today. we'll see about that.

feng shui

23 Jul 2011 4 2 654
edna, I think it's time we thought about redecorating. you don't like my color schemes, stanley? I do, edna, I just think we should update it a little. but I like that old retro look, stanley. it's a little too old, and a little too retro. you really think so? I'm pretty sure, edna.

presidium

28 Aug 2010 4 805
where are you going in such a hurry, comrade? you didn't hear? the general secretary wants a meeting. now? it's almost midnight! what's the rush? party loyalty knows no time of day, comrade. that's no explanation. maybe not, but it beats 20 years in the gulag. I'll just get my coat.

once were warriors

17 Feb 2010 11 6 1653
I'm looking for a large space to rent. you've come to the right place. I have special requirements. I need plenty of power. we have industrial grade transformers. also, I require direct access to a railroad spur. already in place. this was once an industrial facility. yes, it might work. is it structurally sound? like a bunker. impregnable. it will have to be, for what I plan to do. er, may I ask what that would be? no. but I advise you to stay clear for awhile. how clear? oh, outside the 50 mile blast radius should be safe. blast radius? fine. just sign, and here's the key. I'm off. make that 75 miles. you never know. whatever you say.

multiculturalism

23 Jul 2011 2 459
larry, why do people fear what they don't understand? my opinion? because they're morons. don't hold back. tell me what you really think. ok. because they're useless fucking morons. may I quote you on that? be my guest.

mother ship

17 Feb 2010 3 4 1011
what's the word from our spies on earth, centurian? all is going according to plan, master. earth is defenseless. excellent. deploy our troops. full mobiliization. yes, master. shall we follow usual procedure? absolutely. save only those we'll eat. with pleasure, sire. tender little morsels, those humans. I've always thought so, o wise one.

gentlemen's club

07 Mar 2010 8 2 1166
is monsieur dining with us tonight? oui, marcel. please prepare my usual table. very good, sir. may I bring you an apéritif? oui. and a cuban cigar. and for dinner, sir? I'll be having a whole hog, thank you. roasted? or broiled, with pecans, perhaps? no just bring me the hog and a butcher knife. I'll take care of the rest. very good, sir. I'll have one brought around. and a bucket, s'il vous plait. a big bucket. as you wish, monsieur. you might want to tarp the area too. this will be somewhat. . . messy. I shall see to it immediately, monsieur.

armored division

07 Mar 2010 1 3 915
I'm ready for that walk, stanley. great, edna, let's go. ok. I'll just put on my sandals. oh, sandals. . . actually, do you have work boots? work boots? preferably steel-toed. and a helmet. to go for a walk? it's just a suggestion, edna. maybe I should grab my waders? armored, if you got 'em. this walk sounds like it's going to be dreamy. that's one way to put it.

half-life

07 Mar 2010 7 1 1048
herr doktor, the shipment of isotopes is here. excellent, my boy! bring it to me! yes doctor. it's very unstable, isn't it? oh yes. yes. quite unstable. ha ha! in fact, this material is fissionable. very powerful! very dangerous! I don't mean to be rude, doktor, but are you sure you know what you are doing? of course! 1 part nuclear fuel. 1 part isotope. a touch of enriched uranium. some rare earths. . . what are you making? well it's not a salami sandwich, I can tell you. yes, doktor, I see, but, if I may, what do you intend to do with this mixture? don't you know? why, take over the world! ha ha! I see. well, I'm taking my lunch, doktor. good! go! go! hah! don't take over the world til I get back, ok? go! go! and what was the name of your psychiatrist again? dr. jungfrau, why? oh, no reason.

firefight

07 Mar 2010 3 5 1551
sir! sector 9 is not secure! unacceptable, sergeant. you hear me? yes, sir! you go room by room if you have to. right, sir! you flush out the enemy. we do not retreat. not now. not ever. got that? got it, sir! and watch where you aim those paintballs. sir? I just got this outfit back from the cleaners, and do not want it dirty. they did a nice job, didn't they? yes sir! awesome, sir!

space travel

16 Jul 2011 3 1 618
this is a funny place to put a gateway. not so funny. it suits our needs. when does it appear again? any second now. we are expecting a visitor. from arcturus? our home planet? yes, and he will be thrilled at our progress. he will also be hungry, no doubt. yes, but there is plenty to eat on this planet. so I've learned. and they transform so easily. their cellular structure is very adaptable. can I see how it works? you are looking at it right now. all around you. all I see is abandoned steel and junk. clever disguise, isn't it? you mean. . . yes, this is how we store them for shipment home. there's ruins like this all over the city. yes, lots of humans to harvest here. don't they notice? it's just an old factory to them. of no value. if they only knew. thank goodness they never will. they're so clueless. but cute, in their own way. don't let our visitor hear you say that. ok, thanks for the tip. don't mention it.

peace dividend

17 Feb 2010 6 9 979
is it done? yeah, he's down there. ok, let's clean it up and get outta here. this is the last one, you know. whaddya mean? boss is turning a new leaf. no more violence. no way. it's true. then what about the guy down there? boss' idea. he's easing us into it. aw. gee. what a good guy. yeah. a real sweetheart, he is.

332 items in total