agent 22

1000+ views


30 Nov 2008 9 4 1912
we found the space capsule, sir. where is it? at the bottom. giving off radioactivity. damn those bugs.why'd they have to come here anyway? shall we haul it up? yeah. I'll deal with anything on board that's still alive. how, sir? with this flamethrower, son. oh. I am not pleased that these bugs messed up my lake.


20 Aug 2008 8 4 2046
6 minutes and counting, sire. excellent. have the earthlings detected our presence? not at all, your magnificence. they are oblivious. hah hah hah. they will learn a cruel lesson then. ion bombing is now imminent, your grace. that these humans have no wings, like we do, is a blessing. yes sire. it makes our enjoyable task that much easier, no? indeed so, o wise one.

any time at all

09 Aug 1971 27 7 2845
are you ready? I've always been ready. good. me too.

what's up there

28 Aug 2001 11 2 2096
stanley, there's something up there. nonsense, edna. it's just a bridge. I know I saw something stanley. hey, what was that noise? stanley! LOOK OUT! OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IS THAT THING?! stanley! I want to go home! now! just as soon as I get loose from these tentacles, dear.


27 Aug 2009 24 23 2844
ok, here's our ride. sol, grab the loot. I got the hostage. we all gonna fit in that little thing, jackie? sure we are, don't worry about it. no problem. the hostage too? I mean, she's kinda on the heavy side. hey! she'll hear you. she's got feelings, ya know. feelings? jackie, she's a hostage! you are so sensitive. besides, if she don't fit, we'll throw her overboard once we get out there. that thing I said about sensitive? just forget it. I already did.


26 Oct 2009 40 7 1319
can you come closer? can you say please? I can say more than that.

control center

03 Feb 2006 6 3 2026
sir, I am getting some strange transmissions. from where, corporal? just beyond pluto, sir. is it intelligible? it's in bug-speak, sir. but I can read their coordinates. what are they? they're here! on earth! it's an invasion! scramble the fleet, on the double. yes, sir. and break out all the bug spray you can find. got it, sir.


30 Oct 2008 14 11 1763
he's up there, private. go find him. I don't see him, sir. how will I know it's him? he's wearing a banana on his head. oh. ok. I"m kidding you idiot. he'll have a gun aimed at you. think you can remember that? right. got it.

release from the underworld

13 Jun 2006 15 7 2041
where am I? earth. what year is it? 2006. no way. it's true. my god. 50 years. what do you mean? since I was taken down there. what happened? don't ask. you don't want to know.

it's here

27 Aug 2009 16 6 1906
did you see it? where? below that ripple. it just came up for air. it's there right now. what is it? I dunno, but it was huge. how huge? huge enough that you would be no more than a light snack. ok, I've heard enough. I'm outta here. right behind you.

when we were young

07 Aug 1972 19 17 1870
can I move you around a little? please do. I was hoping you'd say that.

fifth column

07 Mar 2010 10 10 1975
sergei, the chairman believes that we have a traitor in our midst. impossible comrade! I can vouch for every soul. maybe so, sergei. but who will vouch for. . . you? me? won't you, comrade? there was a time when I would, sergei. but unfortunately, that is no longer possible. what do you mean? I mean, you are going away, old friend. away? where? you will be reacquainted with those you helped send to the gulag. you can't be serious! send them my regards. I will see you in 20 years. do they have wi-fi there? they have all the conveniences, I'm sure. that's a relief. not for you, of course. oh. of course.

pyramid point

17 Feb 2008 7 4 1779
you can almost see it. see what, louie? where we're going tomorrow. we're going out there? yeah, us and another guy. yeah? we going fishing? no, we're feeding the fish. what are we feeding them with? the other guy. he's gonna be fish food. interesting choice of occupations. actually, he doesn't have a choice. not a big surprise.

accept the unexcepted

23 Feb 1978 17 8 2092
would you like to go riding today, edna? oh, yes, stanley. can we take the hounds? of course. I'll have chef prepare a light snack. how thoughtful of you! there is little in this world I wouldn't do for you, darling. yes, I know. thank you. one thing, though. what's that, dear? you know the carcasses of the hanged? yes. they disobeyed you. we may ride past them. you are stern with the help, dear. but I'm so looking forward to a ride. wonderful, darling.


01 Jan 2007 4 1 1870
conform . consume. knowledge is evil. serve the state. obey.

where the money is

09 Jul 2014 14 7 1724
geez, boss. how long we gonna stay on this road? what's the matter with you, curly? it's beautiful here. yeah, I know, but geez, boss, we been driving for hours. we'll get there when we get there. where we goin'? anyplace where there ain't cops. well, there's none around here. there ain't no banks, either. yeah, good point.

the wrath of god

01 Jan 2010 19 9 1795
and so God got totally sick of mankind, right? he told Noah he's gonna destroy the earth, and all living creatures dwelling under the heavens. yeah, cattle, fowl, crawling creatures, all that. so he makes it rain 40 days and 40 nights, right? and the earth is flooded for months and months, because God wants to wipe out all living things. except those on the ark, of course. yeah, and fishes. whaddya mean, fishes? well, Noah didn't bring fishes onto the ark, did he? don't think so. but fishes ain't gonna die in no flood, are they? no. but why would God want to kill fishes anyway? same reason he wants to kill dogs and cats and chickens. whatever that is. but not fishes, obviously. it's logically inconsistent. it vexes me. well, he saved humans and animals too, didn't he? yeah, and why? didn't he regret creating humans? yeah, he did. so why give them a 2nd chance? how the hell should I know? he's god, not me. well, he should have thought through this ark thing more. you tell him that. now finish your drink. ok. but it's your turn to pick up the check. that's what you said last time, you weasel. whatever.

vick likes kiefer

17 Feb 2010 22 11 1685
it's an allegory, right? without a doubt. the enemy of my enemy is my friend. wow! I see it! you are so deep! forget it. it was nothing. literally nothing.

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