Shame

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Dinesh ^club

. . . .Shame, as we noted at the beginning of this chapter, is shame of ‘self’; it is the recognition of the fact that ‘I am’ indeed that object which the Other is looking at and judging. I can be ashamed only as my freedom escapes me in order to become a given object. Thus originally the bond between my unreflective consciousness and my ‘Ego’, which is being looked at, is a bond not of knowing but of being……

In the first place there is a relation of being. I am this being. I do not for an instant think of denying it; my shame is a confession. I shall be able later to use bad faith so as to hide it from myselof, but bad faith is also a confession since it is an effort to flee the being which I am. But I am this being, neither in this mode of “having to be” nor in that of “was”; I do not found it in its being. I can not produce it directly. But neither is it the indirect, strict effect of my acts as when my shadow on the ground or my reflection in the mirror is moved in correlation with the gestures which I make. This being which I am preserves a certain indetermination, a certain unpredictability. And these new characteristics do not come only from the fact that I can not ‘know’ the Other is free. Or to be exact and to reverse the terms the Other’s freedom is revealed to me across the uneasy indetermination of the being which I am for him.. . . . . .- Page 351

P.S The Other, shame and objectification

The concept of “the Other” occupies a central place in Sartre. Consciousness is not alone in the world. It must accommodate itself with other minds, which are also fighting to exist. Solipsism is merely a gentle dream. The For-Itself (i.e. man) is also for others.

4 years ago. Edited 4 years ago.

Dinesh ^club

4 years ago.

Dinesh ^club

The nature and strength of the feelings which we call regret, shame, repentance or remorse, depend apparently not only on the strength of the violated instinct, but partly on the strength of the temptation, and often still more on the judgment of our fellows. How far each man values the appreciation of others, depends on the strength of his innate or acquired feelings of sympathy; and on his own capacity for reasoning out the remote consequences of his acts. Another element is most important, although not necessary, the reverence to the Gods, or Spirits believed in by each man: and this applied especially in cases of remorse. Several critics have objected that though some slight regret or repentance may be explained by the view advocated in this chapter, it is impossible thus to account for the soul-shaking feeling of remorse. . . . . Even when an action is opposed to no special instinct, merely to know that our friends and equals despise us for it is enough to cause great misery. . . . . Page 118

2 years ago.

Dinesh ^club

Shame has been linked to something called self-discrepancy theory, an idea developed by Edward Tory Higgins in 1987 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._Tory_Higgins he suggested that we all use an internalized ‘ideal self’. You might see yourself as moral, intelligent, and upstanding, for example. And why shouldn’t you? You drive carefully, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, and are respectful at all times – a right and proper member of society. To become our ideal selves there are ways we ought to behave, and the self that behaves in those ways is called the “oiught self’. The ideal self is something we aspire to be, who we hope we are, ideally. The ought self is the self that has sense of duty, sticks no codes, and fulfills obligations. It does the things one ought to do so. Your ideal self drives carefully because it shoulx and because not doing so sould put other people in danger, which is morally unacceptable. Your ought self drives carefully bvecause it’s the law, and you’re not the sort of person who breaks the lw. Byt there are always gaps between this ideal/ought self – for example, it might be the case that regardless of your self-perception, you are actually a terrible driver who swears like a sailor. When you realize that your actual self is not living up to your ideal/ought self, you might feel the sensation of shame.. . . . .

Then shame does something else – it initiates a fight-flight-freeze reaction: fear. Usually, we’ll freese, worried about what people think of us. But if we believe tht our shame has been caused by someone else, the need to fight can take over. We get angry. Still, as a social emotion, shame isn’t just about individual feelings. According to the anthropologist – Ruth Benedict – the balancing of shame, fear, and anger can underpin the emotional regimes of entire cultures. ~ Page 162

2 days ago. Edited 2 days ago.

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