I have to hand it to you (whether you needed me to share this or not): I love driving, especially since I got the MINI Cooper. It's no less than the ideal car for me. But again, I'm digressing... (and you thought, I'd make for a good writer, Sherry, Sara? I will have to learn how to focus first... LOL).

Anway, let's just consider this a fact for now (my love for driving). HOWEVER - I only like it so long as nobody gets in my way... And driving in Germany means: EVERBODY gets in your way! And when I say everybody, that equals 80 million people squeezed into as much land mass as - say - Texas. So - we're packed around here!

Usually, I would just take over and enjoy the shocked expression on the other driver's face. But then, I'm not totally stupid or irresponsible and there are just situations, where it would be exactly that: Stupid to even try. And then I find myself stuck behind a senior driver, whose younger brother is called Methusalem and he must have bribed the DMV for them to renew his driving license. I mean, I know I'll be old one day myself, and I'll be more than happy to be in a shape that'll allow me to drive my own car. But hell - I hope to have some time left until then and for now, I want to go fasssstteerrrrrr! "Hey Mr., the gas pedal is the one on the right, you have to step on it for your vehicle to move! Yes, I said 'on the right', not 'what a night' - o.k.?!" Gosh... And then those pauses at eternity's length, when the lights switch to green! "Hello, anyone in there? You can go - go NOW!" (*mumbling for God's sake*). "Short tempered", you say? "Take your time", even? Awww, aawww, not me!

So, again, anyway: I was on my way to a doctor's appointment today and there is this one winding road to Starnberg that feels like a race track (hey, my visitors from the states: I'm not talking about boring highways, that go straight for hundreds of miles without a bend in the road, I'm talking no less than a rallye track!). I felt good, had had enough sleep, enjoyed my car and tried to break my personal record of 12 minutes so far ;-) - when I have to brake hard all of a sudden behind a bend. Cows, you think? Bicyclist? Sheep? Aww, aaawww - a Mercedes Benz in front of me... which is the sloooowwwwww mooooovvvivng equivalent of a tea table at a nursing home, the combined ages of passengers probably reaching back to the beginning of time - or at least as far back as when the wheel was invented... Phewwww.... "Take a deep breath", I'm thinking to myself. "TAKE A DEEP FUCKING BREATH, my goooood - what are you doing there?!"

I yelled, my face went purple, I broke out in sweat, I rolled down the window, I took another attempt to continue breathing normally... - it was hopeless! The driver in front of me must have gone for the exact opposite of my personal record in that he must have wanted to find out, how slow you can go without killing the engine.

So - I had to do something to keep myself from homicide... yes, think of a joke! Or something funny for that matter! So I thought: What if Mercedes cars (which kind of have an image of being made for - errr - a 'seasoned' clientele) came equipped like a hospital room? Because sooner or later, if that person is not going to accelerate, he might just come to a standstill in the middle of the road. And we don't want that, don't we? The solution of course being: Mercedes-Benz cars, fully equipped with cardio-machine and respirator and all! And then, Mercedes could call it the new "Mercedes +CRD": Cardio-Respiratory-Drive.

Right? Errr, actually, I might need one of those at moments like these... awwww, take another deep breath... ;-)