Lars Attacks

sir! I'm receiving some very disturbing deep-space radio signals! I think we may be. . . under attack!
what?! where are the signals coming from, corporal?
I can't really say, but they're very loud.
I'm raising the threat level to Def Con 1. it appears we're at war, son. I'll close the door and notify the joint chiefs.
hey, that's strange! the signals suddenly disappeared!
no kidding?
uh, sir? who's in the next room?
it's that idiot Lars. listening to his cacophonous speed metal records. I hate that noise.
Lars? hmmm. I suggest we call off that threat level.
oh?
yeah, and maybe get Lars some head phones. for the, you know, safety of the planet, and all.
you think the joint chiefs would agree?
pretty sure, sir.