honeyj's photos

hey, bernie, how's it going? not good, al. not good at all. what's the problem. my past is catching up to me. I'm on a government list. no shit? why? it goes way back to my NLF days. you were in the National Liberation Front? a/k/a the Viet Cong? no. . . fighting to overthrow the corrupt South Vietnamese government in the 60s? so cool! stop! no! oh. then what's the NLF? Nasty Little Fuck. that's me. you? I wasn't well liked for a while there. I mean, not at all. and now? about the same. great.

what are we doing here? we're giving thanks. for what, exactly? for all of our blessings, of course. I should feel blessed? you should. I have a confession to make. what's that? I hate your guts. you do? I should kick your ass right now. oh. but not here. I'll wait outside. you will? count on it.

nice place you got here, sol. yeah thanks. musta cost an arm and a leg. nah, just an arm. ha ha. I mean, uh, anybody I know? yeah, jimmy's. but he ain't complaining. no, he's beyond complaining I hear. yeah, way beyond it.

that was quite a week you just had, donny. it was, wasn't it? fantastic. that's not what I meant. it wasn't? no. in fact, I can't believe the godawful mess you've made since you arrived. me? who the hell is gonna clean it up? hey! this place was a disaster before I got here! not like this it wasn't. so whaddya want me to do? grab a shovel and get to work. me? yeah, you. for once in your miserable worthless life. do something real. clean up your shit. but I have bone spurs! my feet might hurt! really? tell someone who cares.

may I help you sir? yes, I'm looking for a gift for my wife. very good. what did you have in mind? oh, something different. not the usual earrings, etc. well, we have quite a selection of unique items. I can see that. how much for that thing over there? oh, it's on sale this week, for only $3000 US. that's a little steep, don't you think? it's a rare piece, sir. you won't find it anywhere. isn't it a used 55-gallon oil drum? yes, but the workmanship is exquisite. it is nice. will you take $2,000 for it? oh, I couldn't let it go for less than $2,750. I'll give you $2,400. cash. you drive a hard bargain, sir. it's yours. think she'll like it? it will be an unexpected treasure, I'm sure. and she can always exchange it for another color. but they're all black and white. and shades of grey, sir. there's a difference. of course. shall I wrap it up, then? no, I think I'll wear it home. very good sir.

I'll have a hamburger and a coke please. a what? a hamburger with everything on it. and a coke. we don't have none a that. ok, well how about some chips then. and a coke. man, this ain't no food establishment! no? but the sign says 'snax.' snax ain't food, fool. now get on outta here. ok, well do you have another franchise location? I'll go there. you do that. maybe the kitchen's open. hope so, I'm hungry.

stop your vehicle. you must know the password to continue. password? geez, I don't know. how about: please? sorry, not even close. um, ok. pretty please? very good. proceed. have a nice day. wow. that was easy. things are not complicated here. you're kidding, right?

how do you like your new car, edna? it's lovely, stanley. thank you! yeah, for being a classic, I got a great deal on it too. plus, it turns out it's had only one owner. oh? who? somebody named Baader-Meinhof. and I found some curious German literature in the glove box. it says something like "smash the state." is that a football chant, stanley? somehow I don't think so, edna.

you know, mikey, my plan for a wall is really really popular. you think so donny? totally. I saw it on television. and so did many other people. so many. and they've confirmed it. so. . . I've had many many phone calls about it, believe me. so you think. . . I'm a winner. bigly. that's great, donny. just great. the polls. I'm going up in the polls. right.

good morning, herr doktor. ah, there you are, my boy! come here, quickly! I've made an astounding scientific breakthrough! oh? what now, doktor? I've unlocked the secret of time itself! please sit here. wow. that's really something. just lean back and relax. this won't take but a moment, and will be almost painless. what are you doing? I must insert this device deep into your frontal lobe you see. my what? won't that cause, I don't know, brain damage? oh, tut tut. don't be so petty. we are talking about one of the great discoveries of the universe! what's going to happen? do not worry. you won't remember a thing. really? yes. in fact, you will have no memories at all. ever. what's that got to do with time travel? who said anything about time travel, my boy? I'm going to free you from the artificial constraints of time! imagine! but with no brain function? well, none to speak of. but I'm working on that, trust me.

ok, jerry, we're here. you know what to do. sure paulie. hey, look! I found a quarter! this is my lucky day! jerry, we got a job to do, remember? I know. but what if this quarter fell out of the bag of loot we hid here? you better hope it didn't, jerry. why not? why not is because the boss expects that bag to contain nothing smaller than nice clean hundred dollar bills. you made sure of that during the bank job, right? yeah, sure paulie. sure. good. now that I think of it, though, the bag was awful heavy. please tell me it didn't jingle. please. maybe a little? we are so screwed. look paulie! a dime! awesome!

what the hell is it? this, my friend, is my solution to the traffic problem. c'mon. you're actually gonna drive that thing? I am. get in. no fucking way, man. then I suggest you get out of the way. far out of the way in fact.

set up the equipment here, my boy. yes, herr doktor. now go sit in that chair. if my calculations are correct (and they always are), I am about to unleash a force the power of which the world has never before witnessed. really? let's see. I think I just push 'start.' ah. there we go. doktor! my chair is. . . vibrating! behold the pent-up fury of dark matter! you see, I designed your chair to attract non-baryonic particles! brilliant! I'm feeling. . . heavy! precisely! the mass of non-baryonic matter is hundreds of times that of a proton! it. . . is? indeed! we are about to forever alter the nature of all matter in the universe! we. . . are? well, at least the part you occupy, my boy. agggh! dok. . . ! hmmm. look at that mess. I should have brought a second assistant. very forgetful of me.

did you bring a ball, maurice? what? nah man! why would I do that? c'mon! I'm suddenly in the mood for some hoops! here? this place is probably toxic! yeah? well so is what you pathetically call your game. oh snap! that hurts so much. it do, don't it. I'm sure it do.

what are you guys doing? we're just waiting on the bus. there ain't no bus here. is too. you think that's a bus stop you're in? well, yeah. isn't it? for sure.

what are you doing here? I like to hang out in the city. like, with me? of course! awesome.

what are we doing here? I had to. why? I've been coming here for years. so? I can't explain it. does it have anything to do with the fact that you work here, father? well, there's that. somehow I thought so.

hey, merle. you gonna be at the debate today? wasn't planning on it, fern. why? me 'n the boys is fixin' ta make english mandatory. what, like, everywhere? yesiree. make them foreigners speak our lingo. you mean, as well as you? yer darn tootin'. I see. so the bar is low. say what? I'll be there. for sure now? count on it.