THE COMMISSION OF THE
EUROPEAN UNION

PRESS RELEASE


The European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for the communications within the European Union, rather than German, which was the other option.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded to the German Government, that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year plan for what will become known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year „s“ will be used instead of the soft „c“. Sertainly, students will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard „c“ will be replased with „k“. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be a growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome „ph“ will be replased by „f“. This will make some words like „fotograf“ 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterant to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible meß of silent „e“s in the languag is disgrasful and they would go.

By the fourth year pipl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing the „th“ by „z“ and „w“ by „v“.

During ze fifz year, ze uneseßary „o“ kan be dropd from vords kontaning „ou“ and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ze fifz year, we wil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or dificultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finli kum tru! Efektiv Jan. 1st, 2015



Brasls, Desember 1st , 2014


Fel fre to kopi and sirkulat