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I don't want to be here. nobody wants to be here. they have to be here. why is that? god only knows. well, I'm not gonna ask him. I don't think you'd like his answer anyway.

bless us lord, for we have sinned. you talking to me? uh, is that you lord? yes it is. and that sin thing? tell me something I didn't already know.

I have a job interview today, dear. oh? who with? I answered an ad in the paper. not sure who it is. it just says 'looking for healthy males under age 30.' to do what? dunno. but you have to have a 'good soul.' sole? like the sole on a shoe? dunno. maybe it's for salesmen. I need a job. give it your all, dear. I intend to. all I have. if they'll take it.

do you miss them, lord? who, archangel? people, lord. I mean, now that they're all gone. sometimes. but I've got my other worlds to play with. yes, of course, lord. but those are different. very, they're civilized. true. so now it'll be up to the snakes, bugs and my other creations to make something of earth. aren't you sad? no way. humans had their chance. I did give them a chance, didn't I, archangel? yes, lord, and they blew it. well, they can't screw it up anymore. that's right, lord. they're history.

hey marco, you seen eddie? no, wasn't he with you? I thought so, but. . . but what? well, you see that thing over there? what, that. . . petrified thing? yeah. I swear it wasn't here 5 minutes ago. it just. . . appeared. like from out of the sand? c'mon! ok, don't believe me. but where's eddie? I dunno! he was with you! yeah, but he ain't here now. what are you saying? you saying that thing. . . like, ate eddie? can't be. right? you are losing it, man. I'm gonna look for him. hold on. did that thing just move? shit! wait up. I feel like walking. me too.

Pardon me, sir, but what is this place? Why, this is the west. The west? The west of what? It's the great American west. Are you lost? The American west? In what quadrant is that? Quadrant? I don't rightly know Wait a minute. Isn't this Altair-4? Altair. . . What did you say? This is the Andromeda system, isn't it? Andromeda? Where on god's green Earth is that? Earth? Are you shitting me? I'm on. . . Earth? Well, yes. Great. I'm on fucking Earth. Just great! Whoa, take it easy there buster. Actually, we like it here. Of course you do. We designed it for cretins. Pardon me? I knew that asteroid belt would throw me off! I should have never over-ridden the ion drive! Shit! I don't know nothing about no asteroids or ion drives, but how about a nice cup of coffee? Fine, whatever. The Council will have my 2nd head for this. Hell, maybe all 3 of them. You, uh, take it with cream? No, hot and black. Just like my woman. Funny. Where'd you hear that one? We've been monitoring your sophomoric transmissions for years. How does that joke rate? It's one of our favorites, actually. Good to know.

what does that feel like? like being watched. that's realistic.

how are we getting there? we'll take the canoe. across the lake? it's not that far. will you paddle? sure. ok, hand me my pillow? and my drink, thanks. my pleasure, beautiful.

Where have you been? Oh, just exploring. Abandoned ruins? Well, yeah. Not all alone, were you? Sure. What could go wrong? Nothing. Nothing at all. Well, there was that time when I accidentally fell into a hole in the floor. I remember. And, of course, that other time, getting partially impaled on some rusty rebar. Just bad luck. Why are you interested? I'm compiling data for my new theory. Oh? What theory is that? I think I'll name it after you. A theory named after me? Awesome!. You may not think so when you see it. Assuming you survive that long.