My Little Circle

"I know the answer is a bit sentimental and not of the 'positive analysis' style. But when I think of all the events happened in my life, I often seem to see a kid stumbling in the woods. I have known all the traps and astries, but he doesn't. He will and has to move on, going through all these by himself. Then I see he comes to me, step by step, closer and closer, finally becomes the 'I'. I don't know what kind of person I would become if I hadn't entered that academy. I'm also curious about the question, but that would not be my story." I dreamed about that kid crying in the garden beside road. "Yesterday my beloved balloon flew out of my hand. Did you saw it?" That balloon flew to the mountain far far away. An old man tied it to his roof, waiting for dad to find it with you. One day dad got tired and lost in a deep valley, just like the balloon that could never be found again. This is a journey, a boundless journey called destiny. We meet by accident and depart in this road never able to return. We pass by the mountains. We pass by lakes. We pass through the forest, passing through the desert, passing by people's castles and gardens. We pass by the happiness. We pass by the agony, passing through a woman's warmth and tears, passing through the endless coldness and loneliness of life. ——Pu Shu· Journey

The picture is for the title. Actually, I borrowed it from a friend's article about his life path. (He's an econometrician. That's why he used the word "significant".) I was moved so much by the article, maybe just because of the title. It reminded me of a comment from an old professor during a talk in last weekend: "You are not young enough to pursue a topic so ambitious". And I replied, "Yes, I'm rational enough to understand that. But I can't help myself".

Could I take a break to count how many autumns has come and gone I lost what I'd been searching for And got what I'd never expected I don't know If that's my success or failure What I just seen or heard changed quickly Don't know what was accountable What more could I ask for in life Often I have to decide what to give up and what to keep With my whole life I couldn't touch what I wanted before it went away What more could I ask for in life I had compromised and tried hard Once the dream dissipated How do I retain its glitter What more could I ask for in life Who cares about compliments and curses I didn’t realized What I'd lost was everything I've got