Deception & Personal Wholeness

The psychological payoff inherent in social esteem is evident. When a person performs well on a social value standard and receives a signs of adulation, the self is enhanced. But what is not so obvious is the relevance of social reinforcers that are elicited illicitly, by acts of deception. Wouldn't the deceivers 'know' that social esteem was based on false pretenses? And wouldn't this knowledge neutralize the self esteem benefits? Indeed, might it not diminish one's self-esteem by producing a sense of guilt? The answer to each of these question is possibly yes, but not necessarily so. We are very selective in what we allow into our consciousness. Moments of social reinforcement -- the widened eyes, the warm smiles, the attentive gaze -- are often so intoxicating that one doesn't even think about the false pretenses. And if feelings of guilt descend upon one later on? Well then other strategies may come into play to deal with them. ~ Page 151