nora likes wiley


nora likes wiley

24 Jun 2012 17 10 1400
nice kitty. its a horse, daddy. I knew that.


27 Aug 2009 87 18 4654
it's gotta be a signal. from who? obviously, from a civilization far superior to ours. why? it's just a pile of rocks around a piece of wood. ah, but look at it. the form. the function. yeah. a bunch of rocks on a big stick. I bet it's been here from generations. right. generations of sand flies, maybe. truly, this is hallowed ground. hey. hallow this. I'm hungry. let's eat. I must first commune with this vestige of deity. right. call me when the starship lands. the key to all life in the universe. I've found it. good for you. I'm gonna go find the key to a hot dog. with chili and onions? of course. I'm sure the starship will wait.

current events

28 Apr 1973 12 1 956
we'll have to use divers. really? how come? he ain't on the bridge anymore, is he? no, he's not. and you don't see him swimming away. no, I don't. so if we want to find him, we'll have to use divers. damn, that sucks. for who? us, or for him? oh, yeah. good point.


07 Dec 2011 60 16 1628
is there anywhere you have to be? right here, is all. good.

rock of ages

02 Sep 2010 18 8 1775
I suggest you don't get any closer. why? it's a bunch of rocks. you go over there, you're not coming back. what're you talking about, man? it all started here. it's like a black hole. say what? I'm just telling you. be warned. don't go there. put down the crack pipe, dude. be real. I'll inform your friends. maybe they'll miss you. hey, I'm not going anywhere. say hello to ralph. you'll be joining him. I don't know any ralph. you will.

WAR IS OVER! if you want it

28 Dec 2009 17 5 2749
And so this is Christmas For weak and for strong For rich and the poor ones The world is so wrong And so happy Christmas For black and for white For yellow and red ones Let's stop all the fight A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fear.

Blue Monday

15 Aug 2010 23 9 1833
whaddya wanna do today, ernie? I dunno marty. whaddya wanna do? you wanna fire that atlas intercontinental ballistic missile we stole? ok. whaddya wanna do after that? I dunno. run like hell? yeah. we better eat first. good idea.

tell me no lies

24 Jul 1975 31 15 2706
you got one chance to come clean, bruno. it's here, marcel. I swear it. you better be tellin' the truth. otherwise. . . no, it's true. it's here. I'll find it. it better be soon. ok. gimme a half hour. you got 10 minutes. I suggest you start moving. I gotta ask. what if I can't find it? I advise you not to even think of that possibility. no? it scares, even me. and I don't scare easy. you are a tough guy, marcel. that's what my momma says. yeah, she told me that last night.

grim reality

20 Aug 2012 19 7 1063
I hate doing beach patrol. I'm sick of it. what do you mean? it's the best job ever! no, man. I found another drowning victim. do you know who it was? yeah, she might have fallen overboard. gee. why didn't she take a shower on the boat? what? instead she washed up on the beach? very funny. I got more. I bet you do.

work of fiction

04 May 2013 25 9 1057
here's the coffee you ordered, boss. hey, whatcha writin'? my memoirs. the world needs to hear what I have to say. yeah? what's that? I'm gonna tell 'em the truth. the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I ain't leavin' nothin' out. so, it's fictional, is that it, boss? pretty much. probably a good idea.

road kill

17 Aug 2014 22 17 1022
I am sick and tired of this ridiculous traffic. me too. but you gotta deal with it. no I don't. not anymore. yeah? how you gonna swing that? you gonna make those cars all disappear? actually, I think I've come up with a way to do exactly that.

the frog of war

11 Feb 2014 10 5 694
sir! the enemy is all around us! just keep firing, private. but sir! I can't see a thing! it's all so dark! is that so? yes sir! it's the fog of war, I guess! the senses can't cope! boy, you got a frog hanging off your helmet. a frog? on my helmet? oh! it's filbert! hey, get offa there! sir! whaddya know! I can see! the frog has lifted, as it were? it has! how about that.

space invader

07 Mar 2015 12 3 755
hey joey, where ya going? hey paulie, I'm picking up my new ride. wait till you see it. it's a totally sweet machine. ok cool. but joey, do you mind not sticking your face right into mine when you're talking? I mean it's, you know, a little uncomfortable. what? you saying I have bad breath or something? do I gotta? maybe not.

gods and monsters

23 Aug 2015 19 8 1205
hello herr doktor, what are you doing out here on the beach? my boy, I am on at the verge of mastering the forces of nature! again? this time I mean it! with my new discovery, all the world will be at my feet! that's great doktor. in the meantime, since your feet are in the sand, want to build a castle? with a moat? sure. yes! I get the big pail! of course, doktor.


20 Aug 1994 12 10 759
what are they? old cassette tapes. you made them? yeah. it was an alternative to therapy. how'd that go? not too well, but it was a lot less expensive.

the last stand

28 Feb 2016 12 7 721
here it is, ernie. whaddya think? this? are you serious? oh yeah. couch over here. big-screen tv over there. leon. you can't build a house here! house? who said anything about a house? so what are you talking about? I just said it! I'm putting my couch and tv right here! it'll be great! ok. whatever. can I come over? absolutely! you bring the chips and beer. maybe some for the seagulls too, eh? good idea. bring a lot. they're relentless. right.

ba'al's ball

05 Mar 2016 4 5 479
slave! where is my guest list? here, lord ba'al. the invitations have gone out. excellent! this will be the social event of the season! of the decade! indeed, lord. your supplicants are busy with the preparations. and the virgins? are they in readiness? well. . . well what? speak up! we are scouring the city for suitable candidates, sire. double your efforts slave! my guests expect to be entertained in proper fashion! yes, lord. we are working within your constraints: 3 virgins for you for every one for your guests. yes? you question my appetites, slave? certainly not, o voracious one. but with 500 guests, that's. . . that's. . . a lot of virgins? in these times, I'm afraid so, sire. we'll have to give some of the guests a substitute. substitute, lord? give them used cars off our lot. we're way over-stocked anyway. used cars as substitutes for. . . virgins? yes, dammit! if they don't like it, they can go to thor's party. he gives away grab bags. grab bags! with cookies and shit! what a cheapskate! thor isn't worthy to carry your toga, lord. how he ever made it in the cinema instead of me is a complete mystery. a crime, o corpulent one. those hollywood types. so shallow. they don't know what they're missing, lord. absolutely not. and those cars for the guests? stick to the high-mileage clunkers. are we clear? as an unmuddied lake, lord.

machine intelligence

24 Feb 2016 12 7 781
is this the train to the valley? yes, sir. that's where we're going. ok, good. I can't wait for the wine tasting. temperature's gonna hit at least 120 today, I hear. what? in napa valley? how do grapes grow in such heat? napa valley? ha ha. no, this train's bound for death valley. one way. what? it can't be! I didn't even bring any water! I suggest you try and find some shade there. if you can. ha ha! I'm gonna fry! like a bug under a lens, probably. just sit back, relax and conserve your strength. you're gonna need it.

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