honeyj's photos


14 Oct 1969 11 2 574
can we go up? no way. why do you ask? I thought I heard the all-clear signal. well I didn't hear it. man, we been down here so long. go on up there then. you don't wanna? and start to glow at night? no thanks. even for a coffee run? fine. bring me an iced latte. you want whole milk with that? de-irradiated? is that even a thing? guess not. think I'll pass. yeah, me too.

You Fuck with Me, You Fuck with the Whole Trailer…

29 Aug 2021 9 1 430
how are you, lord? good, archangel. very good. I see it's getting a little. . . threatening on earth, lord. oh yeah. my kind of day. good to hear. hand me that bag of thunderbolts over there, would you please? really? these are the big ones. you haven't used them in. . . ages. you know time means nothing to me, archangel. right. it's just a construct. I heard that. from me? where else, lord?


17 Apr 2021 9 7 701
hey edna, let's go out. where to, stanley? I just wanna hit the road. ok. . . uh, in this? sure. why not? I dunno. it's giving me a weird feeling. whaddya mean? kinda. . . creeping me out. don't be silly. by the way, her name's Christine. that does it. I'm out. you sure? totally. ok, but don't let her hear that. serious? I definitely recommend against it.

Drive, He Sd

22 Feb 1970 7 2 569
oh, that reminds me. can I borrow the car? to go where? um, california? what? that's over 2,000 miles away! yeah. I'll need money for gas too.


13 Mar 2021 16 8 507
what's up curtis? oh, hey, vern. here. I brought you some nachos. thanks. you gonna eat some too? for sure. ok. I think I'll start banging on this piece of wood. you making something? nah. but listening to you chewing bugs the shit out of me. ha ha. wait. for real? yeah. oh. well, I totally relate. in fact, maybe you should fire up one of them power tools. that's what I'm thinking.

Tough Town

31 Oct 2020 13 11 610
hey, merle, hiya vern. um, I see you got fire comin' out your chimney top there. yeah. what's your point? oh, nothin'. roasting marshmallows again? kids love it. kinda lights up the neighborhood too. is that a thank you vern? uh. . . yeah! don't mention it.


06 Oct 2020 13 4 669
good morning, herr doktor. ah, my boy! I have news! what now, doktor? with my new discovery, I will completely overtake the field of entomology! wow. that's great! ha ha! those cretinous insect nerds will bow before me now! the only problem is that I have a deathly fear of spiders. uh, doktor. spiders are not insects. what? excellent! world domination is ensured! such. . . humility. indeed! another example of my perfection!

Love Nest

06 Oct 2020 12 2 612
well, Shirley, this is it! this is what, Harry? our little love nest! this? it's little all right, but. . . don't you adore it? how are we both gonna fit in there? easy! um. . . we can lose some weight! we, Harry? me! I mean me!

Toupee Fiasco

25 Aug 2019 18 3 605
slave! I need a photo op! yes lord ba'al. where would you like it? I'm thinking in front of that church over there. that church? but there's, uh, hundreds of people in the street between here and there. well get rid of them! do I need to do everything around here? no lord. I will take care of it. use force! I want total domination! you hear? loud and clear, lord. and bring that book people like. which one, lord? you know, the judeo-christian whatever-it's-called. the bible? that. bring it. I'll pretend to know what it is. certainly. how's my hair? well, uh, you've lost most of it. . . not that you idiot! my public hair! it's fine, lord! the best! not too windy today? you'll be safe, lord. keep the helicopters away until I'm done. of course, lord. after that, do whatever. I don't care. that's. . . obvious, lord.


28 Feb 2016 15 7 608
dude! heard those warnings? better take cover. what warnings? could be a missile attack! we gotta get to the bunker! they may be using nukes! but I'm not done sorting the cannon balls! forget the damn cannon balls, man! we could get fried standing around out here! that does it! I'm gonna prime the 32-pounder. they won't know what hit 'em. are you listening? a 32-pound cannon ain't gonna stop a damn missile! there's that word again. what's a missile? and. . . . nukes? are you, like, new here? hmm. could be hand-to-hand fighting. better sharpen my bayonet. your what? you got any extra musket powder? can't be too prepared, you know.

The Hitcher

24 Sep 1970 6 7 448
need a ride? definitely. where you from? Detroit. me too. I'm heading to LA. this is Montana. you're a little out of your way, aren't you? yeah, there's a few places I need to stay away from. like where? like most places between Detroit and LA. isn't that kind of inconvenient? very.

Aspect Ratio

27 Dec 2000 10 577
the firing mechanism is jammed, sir. that's unacceptable, private. it's just that the gun is overheating. lots of targets, eh kid? I've never seen so many! consider yourself lucky to be here. even if it is an alien invasion. but what if they, you know. . . win? then you can consider yourself lunch. don't want that, sir. no, not so much.

Culture Warrior

20 Aug 1975 7 2 504
you sent for me, my lord ba'al? yes. I'm tired of this judeo-christian propaganda. I want a holiday. what kind of holiday, lord? I want a holiday for me, dammit! like in the old days! those were fun times, weren't they, lord? indeed. blood lust. orgies. uninterrupted sex. but that was centuries ago, lord. will it work now? of course! people are more deviant than ever! true. I mean, just look at the internet. the what? never mind. get to work on it! like now! yes, lord. and while you're at it, I'm low on virgins again. so soon? keep 'em coming, slave. certainly, lord. and my used car lot? yes, lord? the inventory! it's too fucking high! find some buyers, dammit! of course. I'll need a new plaid suit for my holiday party too. plaid? your taste is impeccable, lord, as always. too bad jehovah didn't think so. big mistake, not inviting him to your parties. yeah, but what can you do?

Hide in Plain Sight

02 Jan 2007 7 390
master, I can't seem to signal the orbiting station. there's too much interference in this building. hmmm. why don't you try going up to the roof? well I would, sire, but these tentacles sort of, you know, stand out. yes, earthlings are quite extremity-impaired, aren't they? indeed, and I'd prefer not to advertise that fact. (sigh.) I hate to give up this luxurious suite. but let's return to the rest of our squad at the aquarium. squad, sire? a squad of squid? good one. ha ha! that wasn't a joke, centurion. no sire. of course not sire.

Night Must Fall

09 Feb 2014 8 425
this the new hideout, jake? it shore is, clem. that posse will never find us in these here rocks. hope not. they're pretty good trackers, I hear. let 'em try. we'll just camp out here for the night. ok by me. say, pardner. I been meanin' to ask: what's that there fancy-lookin' gadget you got hanging off your saddle? this here? why it's what's known as a GPS device. a what? GPS. global positioning system. you see, it allows the low-orbit satellite to always know where I am. yessir, it's positively foolproof if someone needs to. . . uh, needs to. . . find me. did you just say what I think you said, clem? dammit, jake. I reckon this ain't such a great hideout after all. you know something? I miss the 19th century. I surely do. me too.

Lethal Weapon

23 Jul 2011 7 1 367
who pays for the next round? I believe that would be you, my friend. you always say that. I'll arm wrestle you for it. loser pays. ok, then you might as well get the money out now. oh yeah? why's that? see this hand? it's a lethal weapon. no kidding. I am totally serious. is that why you paint your nails? er, that's just a subterfuge. to confuse the opponent. if you ask me, it's someone else who's confused. well, I couldn't decide between pink and green. tough choice. tell me about it.

The Meaning of Meaning

24 Aug 2009 17 2 523
whatcha doin', Marcel? sup, Izzy. I'm communing with nature. yeah? how's that workin' out? great, thanks. whaddya want? I don't want nothin'. the boss wants to see ya. what about? you think he tells me? he just says do it. ok, I'll be right there. meaning, now, right? meaning, soon as I finish communing here. hey, commune this: don't piss off the boss. yeah, yeah. ok. nature ain't gonna save your sorry butt if you do. well, not when you interrupt me like that, she ain't. tell her it couldn't be helped. I will. but I don't think she'll listen.

Not the Real Me

03 Oct 1968 11 4 640
no? then who is it? fuck if I know. that is not very helpful. no offense, but tell someone who cares.

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