Joke Cards

A postcard parody of a membership card for the "Down and Out Club" and an advertisement for the Powers Photo Engraving Company, "fastest engravers on earth." Down and Out Club of the United States of America No.: Back number. Date: Not yet but soon. This is to certify that after a thorough examination Mr. R. G. Brubaker has been elected a member of the Down and Out Club of America. His usefulness being gone is subject to the Skidoo Treatment. A. Hasbeen, president. To the woods. Not yet but soon. Walla-walla. 23 skidoo. Copyright 1906 by the Powers Photo Eng. Co., Fastest Engravers on Earth, 154 Nassau St., N.Y.

The front of this advertising trade card for the Desbecker-Block Tailoring Company (above left) depicts a traveling salesman (note the "Samples" case in front of him) who's the "man on the spot" (or at least the man on an oversized playing card). The punning pants piece on the back of the card (above right) was widely circulated in newspapers and magazines as early as 1892. It often appeared under the title, "A Boy's Essay on Pants," with an explanation about an unidentified "boy in Wichita schools" who was "suspended for reading the following essay on 'pants.'" The same pants rant and illustration was also published as a postcard. Desbecker-Block Tailoring Co., Buffalo, N.Y. Tailors to all America. Samples. We've a man on the spot. He takes your measure--we do the rest. You'll find him at the store of J. T. Loucks, local agent, Hvoca, N.Y. (over). Pants are made for men not for women. Women are made for men not for pants. When a man pants for a woman and woman pants for a man they are a pair of pants. Such pants don't last. Pants are like molasses--they are thinner in hot weather and thicker in cold. Men are often mistaken in pants; such mistakes are breeches of promise. There has been much discussion whether pants is singular or plural. Seems to us when men wear pants it is plural and when they don't it is singular. Men go on a tear in their pants and it is all right. When the pants go on a tear it is all wrong. If you want to make pants last make the coat first. (over).

An auctioneer's business card with a humorous explanation of "How a Man Can Be His Own Grandfather" on the other side. This same genealogical calculation was the basis for " I'm My Own Grandpa ," a 1947 novelty song by Lonzo and Oscar, but the idea of becoming one's own grandfather has been circulating in newspapers and elsewhere for more than 190 years . C. Fry, Auctineer. Burbanks, P.O. Box 100, Wayne Co., Ohio. How a Man Can Be His Own Grandfather I married a widow who had a daughter. My father visited our house frequently, fell in love, and married my stepdaughter. Thus my father became my son-in-law and my stepdaughter my mother, because she was my father's wife. My stepdaughter had also a son; he was of course my brother and at the same time my grandchild, for he was the son of my daughter. My wife was my grandmother, because she was my mother's mother. I was my wife's husband and grandchild at the same time; and as the husband of a person's grandmother is his grandfather, I was my own grandfather.

"I eat at the Royal Coffee Shoppe, 919 Orange St., Wilmington, Del." "I don't." See also Before Eating Potato Chips / After Eating Potato Chips :

"Membership card. This is to certify that Portia J. Gross as a Goofey Movie fan has been made an annual member of the Goofey Gang, 1929. Phil Strongbred, president. Not transferable. Member's signature." Cartoonist Fred Neher (1903-2001) issued this Goofey Gang membership card for young fans of his Goofey Movies comic strip. For an example of Neher's work, see " Goofey Movies Presents Tough Turkey ", a Goofey Movies strip published on January 3, 1929, which is available as part of the Ohio State University Libraries' Cartoon Image Database (select the Toggle Full Page button there for a better view of the image).

"Independent Order of Hot Air Dispensers Membership Card. Local No. 463 - Card No. This certifies that [H. H. Melhorn?], Glen Rock, Pa., is a member in good standing of the Hot Air Dispensers, and is fully qualified to supply hot air on any and all occasions. James Gasbag, president. Wm. Buttonholer, sec'y."

Dr. John Birkmire Lawrence (1890-1961), a chiropodist (or podiatrist ) in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, promoted his services by adding his name to this amusing list of Rules of the Road. It's difficult to determine when Lawrence may have first circulated these rules. Versions of it were already appearing in published sources as early as the first decade of the twentieth century (see, for instance, " Constable Trust in Darkest Michigan ," The Auto Era , Sept. 1908, p. 11). According to "Dr. Lawrence Moves to 23 S. Third St.," an article that appeared in the Harrisburg Sunday Courier , on February 3, 1935, p. 5, the doctor's office was located at 204 Market Street from 1915 until 1924, so presumably he had them printed sometime during those years. For another example of early automobile humor, see Not Exceeding the Speed Limit in 1908 . Rules of the Road Adoped by the Farmers' Anti-Automobile Society 1. Upon Discovering an Approaching Team, the automobilist must stop offside and cover his machine with a blanket painted to correspond to the scenery. 2. The Speed Limit on Country Roads This Year Will Be a Secret, and the penalty for violation will be $10 for every mile an offender is caught going in excess of it. 3 In Case an Automobile Makes a Team Run Away, the penalty will be $50 for the first mile, $100 for the second, $200 for the third, etc., that the team runs; in addition to the usual damages. 4 On Approaching a Corner, where he cannot command a view of the road ahead, the automobilist must stop not less than 100 yards from the turn, toot his horn, ring a bell, fire a revolver, halloo, and send up three bombs at intervals of five minutes. 5 Automobiles Must Again Be Seasonably Painted, that is, so they will merge with the pastoral ensemble and not be startling. They must be green in spring, golden in summer, red in autumn, and white in winter. 6 Automobiles Running on the Country Roads at Night must send up a red rocket Every Mile and Wait Ten Minutes for the road to clear. They may then proceed carefully, blowing their horns and shooting Roman candles. 7. All Members of the Society will give up Sunday to chasing automobiles, shooting and shouting at them, making arrests, and otherwise discouraging country touring on that day. 8. In Case a Horse Will Not Pass an Automobile, the automobilist will take the machine apart as rapidly as possible and conceal the parts in the grass. 9. In Case an Automobile Approach[es] a Farmer's House When the Roads Are Dusty, it will slow down to one mile an hour and the chauffeur will lay the dust in front of the house with a hand sprinkler worked over the dashboard. Compliments of Dr. J. B. Lawrence, chiropodist, 204 Market Street, Harrisburg, Pa. Logo at top: "Harrisburg Rotary Club."

This "Mule Barometer" joke (sometimes also called a "Burrometer") has a long history and has appeared in many different printed versions (often with a more dramatic condition like "If tail is gone--Tornado" as the punchline). Although it's frequently published as a postcard, this example is actually an advertising card printed for the Central Brass Manufacturing Company, which has been in existence since 1895 and still continues to manufacture brass faucets and fixtures. Today, the Mule Barometer gag regularly reappears as a " weather rock ," which is--as Wikipedia interprets it--"a humor display that pokes fun at the intricate technology used in modern weather forecasts, as well as the fact that their accuracy is less than perfect. A rock is typically hung from a tripod and accompanied by a sign indicating how to read it." -------- Mule Barometer Directions: Hang outside. If tail is dry--Fair. If tail is wet--Rain If tail is swinging--Windy. If tail is wet and swinging--Stormy. If tail is frozen--Cold. Further information upon request. There is no kick coming to those who use the highest grade brass goods for plumbing and water works made by the Central Brass Mfg. Co.

"Your story has touched my heart. Never before have I met anyone with more trouble than you. Please accept this token on my sincerest sympathy."

Stevens Bros. Circus Special Permit This permit entitles holder to kiss the big elephant's ass. Matinee performance only. Subject to federal tax. Issued by ________. Stevens Bros. Circus. An advertisement that appeared in the Circus Report , June 26, 1976 , p. 17, suggests how humorous permit cards like this may have been used: "Moochers Circus Pass. A few years back all billers and lithographers ahead of a circus carried these moocher passes for those 'pain in the neck' yahoos they ran into each day. They were also great to bring 'know-it-alls' down a peg. If you never saw one of these gems, they read 'Circus pass entitles the holder to Kiss the Great Big Elephant, etc. etc.' Nice business card stock, just a small supply."

"Hot Air Post Card. Address, any old place. Holding hands a specialty. Wholesale and retail dealer in love, kisses, and up-to-date hugs. I have no agents, I attend to this work personally. Give me a trial. Sole proprietor of lover's row. Special attention to other people's friends. Address: any old place. Holding hands a specialty." Printed on the back of the postcard: "Copyright 1907, by E. W. Wilson, post card publisher, 278 B Tremont St., Boston, Mass."

"E. L. Muellich, wholesale and retail dealer in love, kisses, and up-to-date hugs. I have no soliciters, all claiming to be, are fakes. Sole proprietor, lover's lane. A trial is all I ask, special attention to other people's girls. " Acquaintance cards like this one were popular in the United States during the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries They were a humorous way for young men to start up conversations, break the ice, flirt, or otherwise get acquainted with young ladies. In contrast to the formality of the Victorian-era calling cards, acquaintance cards were lighthearted and humorous, and they parodied the conventional etiquette of exchanging calling cards. The elaborate penmanship executed for the name in this example suggests that it may have been purchased through the mail or perhaps at an amusement park or at the beach. For additional examples, see my Flickr Acquaintance Cards set, which was featured in Brett and Kate McKay's article " May I See You Home? 19th Century Calling Cards Guaranteed to Score You a Date " on The Art of Manliness blog, Feb. 13, 2014.

For a similar membership card parody published as a postcard, see Independent Order of Hot Air Dispensers Membership Card (below). Buzzer's Hot Air Club and Grand Order of Windjammers This is to certify that Mr. ________ has been elected member of Buzzer's Hot Air Club and is allowed to expound his hot air at any time with police protection. A. Airmerchant. president.

Cracker Jack Riddle cards like this one were issued in sets of twenty in 1906. They included well-worn humorous riddles that circulated widely in books and newspapers at the time. A book of Conundrums, Riddles, and Puzzles by Dean Rivers that appeared in 1903, for instance, contained all the riddles on this card and probably most or all of the ones on the other nineteen cards. Cracker Jack It is not often one can find A candy good for body and mind, But our old doctor says it's true That "Cracker Jack" is good for you. This famous confection is manufactured from choice, wholesome materials and blended together in a scientific manner. Cracker Jack is a combination of candy, popcorn, and peanuts, and it is very nutritious as well as palatable. It is more easily digested and assimilated than richly made candies. It is good alike for young and old. The more you eat The more you want. Manufactured by Rueckheim Bros. & Eckstein, Chicago, U.S.A. See riddles on other side. "Cracker Jack" Riddles What relation is a door mat to a door step? A step farther. What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence. How do we know that Noah had a pig in the ark? Because he had Ham. When is money damp? When it is due in the morning and missed at night. What is the cheapest way to buy a fiddle? Buy a little medicine and get a vial in? How may book-keeping be taught in a lesson of three words? Never lend them. Why are records brittle things? Because they cannot be lowered without breaking. When did George Washington first take a carriage? When he took a hack at the cherry tree. What is the difference between forms and ceremonies? You sit upon one and stand on the other. Why do girls kiss each other and men not? Because girls have nothing better to kiss, and men have. Why were the brokers in the panic of 1873 like Pharaoh's daughter? They saved a little prophet from the rushes on the banks. Send name and address with 2c stamp and receive a full set (20 different kinds) of our famous "Cracker Jack" Riddle Cards.

"April Fool. Ha ha." A nineteenth-century calling card printed on marbled paper that has faded over time. Instead of a typical calling card with a name printed on it, some Victorian-era prankster handed out this card as an April Fools' Day joke. For another Victorian calling card printed on marbled paper, see Marian Reynolds .

A unique acquaintance card. Albert W. Colter Way down in my heart I've got a feeling for you. May I see you home this evening. I don't smoke, chew, drink, tell lies, go with other girls, or break dates. I part my hair in the middle, crease my pants on the side, and shine my shoes in the front.