honeyj's photos

I love your clubhouse. it's very cool, isn't it. can I join? no you can't. why not? because you are not cool. really? really. but I brought a 6-pack. see? so? and. . . sandwiches! hmmm. let me take a vote. ok, you're cool enough. gee, that was easy. the bar, as they say, is low.

the new air raid shelter is finished, major. excellent. let's have a look. hardened steel installed? as per your specs, sir. 6 foot cement walls? absolutely. extra-thick ceiling cap, with no openings? no open. . . what the. . . ? wait a minute! are those. . . holes in the ceiling of my bunker, corporal? uh, yes, sir. that's what they look like. sir. it's completely open! what is the meaning of this outrage?! we, uh, thought you'd like some. . . decorative touches. sir. decorative touches?! are you serious? we can change them, sir. we could, ah, make them a little more, uh, square. sir. square? you think that would be more appropriate, design-wise? oh, yes, sir. certainly sir. they would match your buttons! hmmm. they would at that. very well. see to it, corporal. right away, sir! who'd have thought? a tiny little decorative touch can go a long away, right? yes sir! very much so, sir!

hey, archie, whatcha doin'? oh, hi earl. just hangin' out, you know. is this where you live, man? yeah. nice, eh? you kiddin'? it's a dump! what, your hole in the ground is better? we're wolves, man! we're supposed to live in nature! not in. . . . not in. . . this. actually, I just pulled a very nice persian rug out of a dumpster. I think it'll look great in here. you know, that might actually work. totally. so, you gonna be howlin' at the moon tonight? does today end in a y? it does. so you know the answer. cool. see you there. got it.

this is the place, irv. I can feel it in my bones. place for what, boss? my new strip mall and gas station! but it's a swamp! there's nothin' here but frogs and birds. not for long. it's the wave of the future, my boy. gotta think big. meaning the frogs and birds get wacked? they won't know what hit 'em. geez. just the kind of guy I am, irv. what can I say? nothin'. don't say nothin'.

ok, mrs. lubner, it's all done. let me see. . . what the hell is this? isn't it awesome? you call that a paint job? well, yeah, among other things. are you nuts? I guess they didn't tell you. I'm the antihero in this movie. that explains a lot. don't it though.

do you believe in heaven and hell? no, but I believe in you and me. I think god would approve of that. me too. so we should get to heaven, right? probably not from here, though. no, probably not.

eddie's here, boss. you wanna talk to him? did he bring the thing? he says he don't got it no more. then no. take him over there. what should I do with him? see to it nobody talks to him. you mean, like ever again? what, do I gotta spell it out for you? no boss. I get the idea. good. do it, then bring me a cannoli. you want coffee with that? yeah. and no cannoli for eddie. I guess he's had his last meal. yeah, and I hope he enjoyed it. do you? not really.

what's happening? I'm waiting. for what? for the portal to open. portal? to where? you may not want to know. but I do! sure? yeah! stand here. ok. what's gonna happen? nothing. nothing? to me. but you're about to become my mindless entertainment for the day.

what'll you have? just a cup of coffee, thanks. that'll be a two bucks. geez. I remember when coffee was 25 cents. yeah, well, drink it slow. maybe it'll feel like two buck's worth. will it taste like it too? can't promise you that. thought not.

darling, it's a great day for a walk, don't you think? sorry, not now. I'm too busy with spring clean-up. ok. what time will you be finished? you mean what year, don't you? uh, year? and move your car. it's blocking the garbage hauler.

hey comrade. you going to the party? what party? you gotta go! all the guys are gonna be there! yeah? who's all the guys? you know: joey stalin; vlad lenin; karl marx; leon. . . leon? who's he? trotsky. oh. I dunno. those guys are kind of a drag. rosa luxembourg will be there too. rosa? she is a total babe! ok, I'm there. good. you bring the beer. me? why me? because those other guys are complete deadbeats. that is so true.

good morning, father. good morning, my son. can you maybe help me out with something? of course. the red candle is taller than the yellow candle. the yellow candle is taller than the blue candle. which candle is tallest? tallest? hmmm. can I see them? I'm afraid not. is there a prize if I get it right? of sorts. you get to consider yourself as smart as Egon. who's that? my pet bird. wow. so, uh, Egon got it right? he did. is he, you know, around? forget it. you can't ask him. bummer.

edna, have you seen our financial statement? all of our fossil fuel investments have melted away. yes, stanley. along with the polar ice caps. you don't really believe that global warming hoax, do you? like the hoax storm that washed away our beach cottage? don't read too much into that, edna. no. even though 100-year storms come every year now. it's a liberal plot, that's all. mother nature's a liberal, stanley? who would have believed it? I think I'll handle our portfolio from now on. are you saying I'm. . . delusional? I don't have to, stanley. you just did.

hey, man, you got anything to sell? no, dude, I'm all out, sorry. come back next week. c'mon! I can't wait that long! too bad. now get on outta here. for sure you got some of that special mix hidden away. you want me to invade my private stash? no way. damn. that's cold. tough shit. you'll live. I hate drinking milk straight! yeah, the best chocolate makes the best cookies. it do. it definitely do.

is this the way out? I suppose so. there's no other way around here. ok. will you keep an eye out for me? an eye out for what? the law. oh. well, I am a police officer. may I help you, sir? uh, no, officer! I'm just traveling through here. well have a safe trip. but you might want to stash that piece where it's not so obvious, know what I mean? uh, this? that. right! of course! thanks. no problem.

good morning, herr doktor. ah, there you are, my boy. just in time to help with my demonstration. of what? how proctologists can minimize the chance that their colonoscopy patients will suddenly explode! what? now pull down your pants and bend over. doktor! what is that thing? it's. . . huge! this, er. . . probe? mein gott! it's quite heavy. but don't worry! you'll hardly feel the pain. eventually. but. . . ! butt is right! (hmmm. that reminds me: I'll soon need another assistant.) you will? to clean up the mess, of course! the things we do for science!

attention! at ease, men. I need a volunteer. let's see. . . how about you? me sir? your name? Parts, sir! Private Otto Parts. ok, Private, here's the deal. I need you to go behind enemy lines and establish contact with our agent. can you do it? sir! yes sir! once you do, you give this note to her. her, sir? yes! is that a problem, Parts? no sir. not at all, sir. this note must not fall into enemy hands, Private! that is critical! understood?! yes sir! but what if I'm, you know, captured? sir? you eat the note! here it is. but it's the size of a book! sir. you eat it, Private Parts! I don't care if you smother it in butter and fry it up with eggs, but you eat it! am I clear? perfectly, sir! uh, eggs, sir? you can take a few with you. really? but don't break them! you got that? can I bring a little pepper, too? sir? why don't you just take my chef, Private? wow, could I? are you an idiot, Private?! sir! no sir! good. you had me worried.

he got away, man. what do you mean, he got away? he was fast. you're a dog! it's your job to get him! he had wings! who knew? excuses. that's all I ever hear from you. yeah, it's tough.. so can I play with the boom stick now? forget it.