40+ faves
The Nothing
how you doing, jerry?
hey maurice. just getting ready to walk across the bridge.
I wouldn't go there if I was you. in fact, I recommend against it.
c'mon! why not?
them that has, never been seen in their human form again.
what? it's just a bridge! what's happened to them?
they're changed. forever.
changed? how?
hippies. all hippies. a sad thing to see.
epiphany
uh, say miss, what is this? I mean, where are we?
oh, you'll see soon enough.
what does that mean? I think I want off of this thing.
sorry. nobody is permitted to leave.
what are you talking about?
all will be explained to you in due time.
I don't want no explanation! I want off!
I'm sorry. but you did not beat the reaper.
you mean. . . you mean. . . I'm dead?
you think that's air you're breathing?
oh man. and I didn't even finish that sandwich. dammit!
life sucks, doesn't it.
and it even came with a pickle. old dill too!
21 Jan 1973
66 favorites
12 comments
the divine
do you ever pray?
I've been praying since I got here.
lotta good it'll do you.
well it can't hurt, can it?
marooned on a strange planet
scout team one calling base.
I read you, scout team. what is it?
we have a problem. we're stuck on this planet, and don't know how to get off.
what do you mean? just beam up like usual.
yeah, well, we'd love to, but we sort of lost our device.
whaddya mean, you sort of lost it?
well, you see, they have these things here called cell phones?
so?
yeah, well we accidentally picked up one of those, and left our device on a park bench.
dammit carl!
tell me about it. when we went back to get it, it was gone. so now, some human is walking around trying to make a call with an Arcturan particle beam disintegrater.
jesus h. christ! he's liable to obliterate an entire building!
yeah, but we've noticed that they seem to tear down everything worthwhile on this miserable excuse for a planet.
so then, maybe no one will notice.
that's what we're kinda hoping.
14 Jul 1974
58 favorites
6 comments
the life
tan lines on cool sheets. what could be better?
a long island iced tea, maybe?
coming right up.
thirst
how are we getting there?
we'll take the canoe.
across the lake?
it's not that far.
will you paddle?
sure.
ok, hand me my pillow? and my drink, thanks.
my pleasure, beautiful.
Working Vacation
darling, lunch is ready.
oh, goody. what are we having?
foie gras and chips. your favorites.
dreamy.
but I'm sorry. I forgot the champagne.
oh, well do go get it, sweetie. let's not spoil lunch.
but it's 10 miles.
I'll still be here when you get back. don't worry.
of course, my darling.
08 Mar 2014
40 favorites
11 comments
Ghost Rider
how do you like your new ride, boss? sweet, ain't it?
paulie, I said get me something inconspicuous. did you hear me say that? in-con-spic-u-ous. don't you know what that means?
sure I do, boss. it means 'big, red and flashy,' right? just like everything else you own.
I'll take that as a compliment, paulie.
sure boss. you do that.
beat the devil
look at that, gary. do you think it's a sign?
of course it is, dave. it's obvious.
what's it mean, then?
it means get your shit together already.
really? how can you tell?
it's an innate talent I have.
wow. I never knew.
exactly. because you're clueless.
it says that too?
no, I said that.
what else do you say?
let's get outta here and go eat.
damn. it's true. you do have a talent.
for some things, yes.
too bad none of them are worth anything.
I can always hope.
but don't count on it.
exactly.
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