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have we been naughty? well, no, I'm just more comfortable this way. don't let me stop you.

I'm ready for my lesson. what lesson is that? sand writing, of course. right. that lesson. well, you said it can only be learned without clothes. I said that? and I believed you. as you should, at all times.

are you ready for your towel? yes, thanks. sorry, but I'm not. well, just let me know. it'll be awhile. no problem. good.

tired yet? no. me neither.

is everything all right? couldn't be better. I agree.

everything under control? yes. how about for you? I'm trying.

I don't want to go out there. I know. but you have no choice. is there anything I can do? maybe there was before. but you blew it. and that's it? that's it, I'm afraid. kind of harsh, isn't it? life is harsh in these times, friend. I ain't your friend. tell me something I don't already know.

it's an allegory, right? without a doubt. the enemy of my enemy is my friend. wow! I see it! you are so deep! forget it. it was nothing. literally nothing.

halfway between the equator and the north pole. means nothing to me. why not? I feel like I'm halfway between heaven and hell. you don't say. and I don't like the direction I seem to be heading. from what I can see, I don't blame you. your faith in me is encouraging. you're welcome. I was being sarcastic. I wasn't.

man, when will this fog ever lift? what gives you the idea that this is fog, son? well, I don't know. . . it looks like fog. it's them. make no mistake. they're here. them? it's gonna be a battle of civilizations, count on it. but. . . to the winner goes the spoils. in this case, earth. what are you talking about? you doubt me? just take a walk down the beach. there? you won't come back. at least not in human form. it can't be. stay and watch. it's definitely gonna be messy. but I'm on vacation! yeah. reality sucks, doesn't it? totally.

hey, buddy. can you spare a buck? I can't believe it. you're panhandling on the beach? well, I can't swim, so I gotta stop here. but we're trying to enjoy this sunset. yeah, me too. and I'd enjoy it alot more for a buck.

what's this, boris? it's a subpoena, comrade. a subpoena? from who? you're being called before the workers' committee on internal security and morality. I am? what'd I do? well, let me ask you. have you been watching any james bond movies lately? I suppose. I thought so. it's your blog, comrade. my blog? what about it? let's just say that some interested parties don't like you calling it 'pussy galore.' oh, they don't? not so much. oh.

blow on it. if it's all the same to you, herr doktor, I'd rather not. I have allergies. it's ok. you can do it. this is my special creation. you created this? it kinda big, isn't it? yes. and these seeds will spread for miles. but they are unique in nature. really? what's in 'em? each seed carries a specially engineered genetic code, that will allow me to control the minds of all who breathe the pollen. soon, I will rule the world! no kidding. I gotta say, that's pretty ingenious, herr doktor. I know. I know. start blowing.

pardon me, sir, but what is this place? why, this is the west. the west? the west of what? it's the great American west. are you lost? the American west? in what quadrant is that? quadrant? I don't rightly know wait a minute. isn't this Altair-4? Altair. . . what did you say? this is the Andromeda system, isn't it? Andromeda? where on god's green earth is that? Earth? are you shitting me? I'm on. . . Earth? well, yes. great. I'm on fucking Earth. just great! whoa, take it easy there buster. actually, we like it here. of course you do. we designed it for cretins. pardon me? I knew that asteroid belt would throw me off! I should have never over-ridden the ion drive! shit! I don't know nothing about no asteroids or ion drives, but how about a nice cup of coffee? fine, whatever. the Council will have my 2nd head for this. hell, maybe all 3 of them. you, uh, take it with cream? no, hot and black. just like my woman. funny. where'd you hear that one? we've been monitoring your sophomoric transmissions for years. how does that joke rate? It's one of our favorites, actually. good to know.

barkeep, pour me another. haven't you had enough, friend? not even close. just keep 'em coming. want to tell me about it? nothing to tell, my man. nothing at all. I've heard that before. yes, and it's a true story too. I'm sure it is. you want some more? I don't mind if I do, thanks. no problem.

lord, are you busy? well, archangel, I'm trying to relax on the beach. yes, lord. I just wondered if you need anything. hmm. how about a nice corned beef sandwich, on rye? certainly, lord. with a dill pickle, please. of course. man, I love dilll pickles. old dills. know what I mean? I do, lord. and bring me those sand toys, too. yes, lord. I've got some serious building work to do. have fun, lord. I do love this lake.

what is it, edwards? it's a signal. I think. far away, but closing. is it one of us? definitely not. it's nothing I ever heard before. could be french then. yeah, probably.

are you ready? I've always been ready. good. me too.