1000+ views

it's an allegory, right? without a doubt. the enemy of my enemy is my friend. wow! I see it! you are so deep! forget it. it was nothing. literally nothing.

do you miss them, lord? who, archangel? people, lord. I mean, now that they're all gone. sometimes. but I've got my other worlds to play with. yes, of course, lord. but those are different. very, they're civilized. true. so now it'll be up to the snakes, bugs and my other creations to make something of earth. aren't you sad? no way. humans had their chance. I did give them a chance, didn't I, archangel? yes, lord, and they blew it. well, they can't screw it up anymore. that's right, lord. they're history.

edna, somebody's at the door. can't you get it, stanley? I'm basting a turkey. dammit edna, I'm watching the game. just get up off your butt and answer the door, stanley. I'm sure it's for you anyway, edna. well just tell them to wait. I'm gonna tell them to scram, is what I'm gonna do. fine by me, stanley. I mean, a man's got a right to sit in his house in peace. it's ok, dear. I'd hate for you to have to put your pants on. yes, well, there's that too.

see him? no. where? up in that tree. man, I can't see anything! don't worry. I've got a bead on him. what's he doing? oh shit! he's gone! c'mon man, we gotta move! where? anywhere. that guy's fast! I don't think it's a guy. whaddya mean? I mean, it smells like sulphur around here. I don't think that guy's human. sulphur? oh, yeah. never mind that. I forgot to clean out the fridge.

what's fishy about it? can't you see? see what? the fish, ya moron. where? oh forget it.

have we met before? I don't recall being introduced. oh hell, got a cigarette? I'm out of smokes. I can see that this day is going to be weird. is that an issue? not with me it isn't.

get in. why? where we going? don't worry about it. just get in. maybe I don't wanna get in. trust me. you do. you really do. give me a hint. see that back seat? ever see one that sweet before? hmmm. I receive your meaning. so? what are we waiting for? drive.

summon my high priest, immediately. yes, o great god ba'al. you wish to see me, lord? what is the meaning of this?!! of what, o lord? your sacrifices! you call those. . . virgins?! oh. that. er, yes, we, uh, we sort of. . . ran out. ran out?! of virgins!? are you shitting me?! oh, no, ba'al. there's a real shortage out there. they've become quite rare, actually. inconceivable!!! I put you in charge of getting me virgins!! yes, and I'm doing my best, under the circumstances. soccer moms? you use soccer moms for my sacrifice? did you think I wouldn't notice? we thought you might be. . . tired. . . uh. . what? tired? me? are you serious?! this isn't ancient canaan, where virgins were everywhere. times have changed. find them! virgins are my. . . thing! you know that! yes, o lord ba'al. but you know. . . what? maybe you could give up on the sacrifices? you mean like jehovah did? be like him? I know you don't like him, but. . . he ran my ass out of town, you turd! remember?! yes, yes. a terrible day. terrible. now get back there, and get to work! ba'al has needs! yes, he does. by the way. . . yes? how's the used car business doing? oh, not too bad. sold 25 units last month. good to hear. definitely. so you like new jersey? well, they could worship me more, of course. yes, of course. otherwise, yes. I like my freeway exit. good to hear, o lord ba'al. very good.

we have a new assignment for you, agent 22. swell. what is it? we have been getting reports from our american friends. . . what did they manage to screw up now? they've lost one of their best agents. who? agent 38-24-36. her? she would be hard to misplace. nevertheless, they can't locate her. you are to do so. and when I do? de-brief her. I'll try. except that she usually doesn't wear briefs. RIP Jimmy 10/27/47 - 8/11/12 I love you

hey marco, you seen eddie? no, wasn't he with you? I thought so, but. . . but what? well, you see that thing over there? what, that. . . petrified thing? yeah. I swear it wasn't here 5 minutes ago. it just. . . appeared. like from out of the sand? c'mon! ok, don't believe me. but where's eddie? I dunno! he was with you! yeah, but he ain't here now. what are you saying? you saying that thing. . . like, ate eddie? can't be. right? you are losing it, man. I'm gonna look for him. hold on. did that thing just move? shit! wait up. I feel like walking. me too.

where are we going, sheriff? this ain't the way to the jail. shut up, prisoner. but where are you taking me? you can get out here. but we're in the middle of the woods. you shouldn't have beat that girl. what? what do you mean? you got 10 seconds to start running. what? then what are you going to do? start shooting. you can't do that! I'm your prisoner! that was the last girl you're ever going to beat. you can't be serious! you're using up your time. I can't believe this! time's almost up. you'll pay! you'll pay for this! not like you're about to.

who chose this place for the meeting? I did. why? I don't know. just something about it. creeps me out. yeah, now that you mention it. kinda bright in here. right. you don't think we, you know, stand out a little? I'd say so.

where are we going? this is the train to the liquification plant. the. . . what? we are to be emulsified into bug food. what the fuck are you talking about? I'm referring to our bug masters. are you nuts? what bug masters? those we must obey. hey! I want off of this train! we are all to be harvested. I'm pretty sure this is my stop. I mean. . . we must. . . obey. ok, you obey. I'm outta here.

stanley, what is that awful sound? what's that, dear? from down the tracks. like a million insect wings beating at once. ridiculous. say, something's coming out of the woods. oh my god! stanley, what are those things? edna, get back in the house and don't come out no matter what. stanley! they're HUGE!!! edna, do as I say! run!! and grab all the Raid you can find.

are you sure this is the place? this is the place. it's perfect. I dunno. there doesn't seem to be alot of people. they'll come. trust me. but we had to crawl through tunnels to get here. once they hear about the product, they'll come. here? for a pizza by the slice business? I tell you they'll be beating down the doors. doors? what doors? hmmm. good point.

vern! I found the perfect place for my new luxury hotel! really lars? here? totally! a perfect location! if you say so. and there'll be free zombies in every room! good plan, lars. really excellent. it gonna have a name? yeah! I wrote it down. see? hmmm. yeah. actually, I think that could work.

ok dog, I followed you out here. now what? hey man, you're supposed to be the smart one. you tell me. are there any birds around here? I don't know! I'm a tourist here, just like you. just great. is it my turn to play with the boom stick? grow some fingers, first. I'm trying!

say goodbye to civilization, darlin', we're hittin' the road. when are we coming back, joe? maybe never, baby. never? but what about momma? she can't come.