B&W & Duotone

From the back pages of the March Western Family. The "Hangtown Fry" still shows up in restaurants around here. I've never been brave enough to try it, though.

This unfortunate juxtaposition brings to mind a Nineties zine I've got somewhere. The author recounted being horribly underpaid at his job while being nagged by his bosses to bring in food for a charity drive. So he took a can of beans and a can of pet food and switched the labels before presenting the "beans" to his stingy bosses. "Love Me," for sure. :/ From the October issue of Everywoman's magazine.

If you ignore that Miss RC Cola probably has about 50 lbs.' worth of foundation garment underneath her bathing suit, this page is pretty cute. From the September issue of Western Family magazine.

This cake looks to be about 1 1/2 feet across. I'd give anything to know if it needed to be that large just to use up all the frosting in the envelope. (I kept the blanket care saga, because I figured she felt bad enough about not getting to go to the beach or to the birthday party.) From the September issue of Western Family magazine.

Clipped from the pages of February's Western Family magazine.

Clipped from the October issue of Western Family. (I like to think that ad size = priority. Home-cooked breakfasts rule, but don't forget to feed the cat. Later, we can have some cake and cider. As for the chores? Forget 'em 'til tomorrow!)

Clipped from the pages of the October Everywoman's magazine.

Clipped from the October issue of Everywoman's magazine.

Mother Cat won't let those kittens near that Canned-Tuna-Canned-Milk Atrocity a page back. Unlike Mrs. America, she has some standards. Clipped from the July issue of Everywoman's magazine.

An entire tablespoon of chili powder to serve-- six people! Madness! Thank Heaven that we have plenty of frozen vanillin and cool, sparkling sugar water on hand to keep the whole family from certain doom! Clipped from the July issue of Everywoman's magazine.

Clipped from the February issue of Good Housekeeping magazine.

Make the kids' footwear double as scarves, paint the storage shed, start an earring business, tithe to the Canadian Empire, con an omnivore into avoiding meat... Wow! It's been a busy day! Clipped from the February issue of Good Housekeeping magazine.

The "Chinese Lantern" jar is adorable, but... wow. I bet it led to a lot of spills. Clipped mostly from Family Circle magazine.

It's always the right time to eat something processed and flavorless! Woo! From the March issue of Sunset magazine.

Essentials for cultured ladies all around the world, in no particular order of importance. Clipped from the pages of March's Sunset magazine.

"...And then Groundskeeper Willie turned into an owl a-and asked if he could touch my 'chill chest.' And then Weird Al offered me a backup role in his "Rocky Road" video, but some phallic processed cheeses showed up yelling about 'purity' and totally ruined our moment!! And that's when I woke up! Doctor, what does it all mean?!" Clipped from the March issue of Sunset Magazine.

I wasted a lot of time putting this one together, because my mind was boggled by the saga of "Baby X: Marmalade Junkie." Not to mention wondering what the Incredible Mystery Substance in Fox Beer's World Famous Water might be. (Cheese curds? Uranium fragments?) (L) From the May issue of Better Living magazine. (C) & (R) From the April Issue of Everywoman's magazine.

(L) Advertisement, c1956. (They should've just gone all out and had an illustration of Alice Paul and her forces marching up Fifth Avenue brandishing jam jars.) (Upper R) A Photoshopped detail from an earlier 1958 ad posting . (Lower R) An illustration by Chris Ortega, from the article "Exciting New Cakes From Today's Miracle Package Mixes," published in the October 1955 issue of Western Family magazine.