[STORY TIME!!] Molly is Chagrined

"Chagrin‎: A keen feeling of mental unease, as of annoyance or embarrassment, caused by failure, disappointment, or a disconcerting event."

So, I went out to take pictures today and brought the dogs with me. As you know, when we are "in the moment" of photography, we are lost to the world, and so, when I looked up from what I was doing, many moments had passed. Plenty of time for dogs to get into all kinds of mischief. Molly came running over, and she very proudly showed me her Grand Adornment....

"Oh nooooooooooooo, MOLLY!!!!!" Wrinkling my nose and moaning, I looked in mortified disgust at the sight before me. Molly had evidently found something dead, gooey, and stinking to high heaven. And proceeded to roll luxuriously in it, caking her thick coat like war paint. I'm surprised I didn't see clouds of fumes billowing up around her, but let me tell you, that was one very proud dog! Moosey and Zoe smelled her appreciatively and offered a lick or two, at which point I yelled, "NO!!!"Groaning under my breath, I told the crew it was time to get back to the house, since I now had a very foul and stinking dog to wash. Did I mention the part that I've never washed Molly before? It's only been a few months now that Molly and I are on a close trust basis, and I would never consider trying to bathe her before, but these days she trusts me completely and I know she isn't a danger. (For a long time our relationship was very neutral and though she respected me, she would not bow to my wishes without a lot of stress on both our parts. I didn't think she'd have ever bitten me, but I wasn't going to force the issue either.)

I thought about my options. First I tried wiping off some of the goo. That was a bad, bad idea!! So gross!! Then I called Steve for his advice... no answer. Ok...well, she needs a bath right now. Bath tub or shower stall? Considering, I decided I couldn't risk trying to get her in the tub because the sliding glass doors could possibly slip and fall off if banged too hard. But, would she FIT in the shower with me? I had no choice but to find out. So I called her up to the master bedroom and tried to get her to go into the bathroom. No way. She wasn't having it. I had to force her in and close the door. Which Zoe promptly pushed open (no latch on the door) and out went Molly! "Molly! You get back here!" She stops in her tracks, looking over her shoulder in horror. "EEK! Pack Mom YELLED at me!!" "Molly, get back in that bathroom right now!" Around she turned, balking at the door. I jabbed her with a finger and in she went, tail between her legs. Closed the door. Zoe opened it again and I YELLED at Zoe, "ZOE, BAD GIRL! YOU GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!" Like a brown bullet, she flew out of the bedroom and down the stairs, totally mortified that I screamed at her (something I never do!). Back in the bathroom, door closed, off with my clothes and I gestured for Molly to get into the shower. She looks up at me with an expression, "Seriously? You must be kidding! I'll die in there!" "IN!" I tell her very sternly and point again. In she goes, and I follow in after and pull the door closed. Remarkably, WE BOTH FIT! Amazing!

Ok. Turn on the water...wait for it to heat up and block the door in case Molly wants to bolt. Nope...with my encouraging coos of, "Good girl, Molly! I'm sorry we have to wash off your Trophy Stink, but you can't keep it if you want to be in the house." She's resigned to her fate and waits for the Grim Reaper, who is surely on his way.

Warm water is the trick to relaxing Molly and she sat down and actually enjoyed the sensation of being covered with thick suds and a long scrubbing massage from Pack Mom. It took me about 15 minutes to get her totally shampooed, scrubbed, and rinsed. I even sang a song to her called "Rolling in the Carcass", but I'll spare you the lyrics. Molly enjoyed the excellent melody and fine choice of words, though I will say that Pumpkin hated every word, yelling (squawking) from her cage in the next room! :D (Truthfully, one of Pumpkin's favorite things in the world is watching a dog being bathed...when I wash Zoe, she sits on her perch in the shower for a front row seat! She thinks it's totally hilarious and laughs her head off the whole time, throwing bread on her head and having a grand time! :D)

When I finally got her rinsed completely, I washed myself off, and then stepped out, closing her in and telling her to, "STAY." I dried myself off, layed out some towels, and opened the door to the shower. She stepped out and was immediately enveloped in warm, dry towels, cooed at and loved as I spent the next 10 minutes drying her off. She got happier and happier the dryer she got, and finally I opened the door into the bedroom and out she pranced, tail high over her back, the Queen of All She Surveys once again! :D

I took this picture about 10 minutes after I dried her off. We all went downstairs and she lay on the livingroom floor, totally exhausted by the whole experience and obviously very relieved that I didn't hate her at all...Pack Mom loves her very much indeed. But please...no more Trophy Stink!! :D