Winner, Uglyman Contest, Miami U 

Maybe I was uglier in those days (1960 or so) or maybe I'm uglier now -- but the important thing was my INSPIRATIONAL acceptance speech on the glorious day I won!
Send checks or PayPal stuff for sound-bites from my speech, which I promise not to deliver.
Ugly is fun! Ugly is an enriching experience!
(AND -- modesty apart -- I achieved my look without benefit of surgery or being the son of Quasimodo, Hunchback of Notre Dame!)
Or King Kong, either!
So THERE!