Arkitektura

I'm off to work, dear. ok. what are you doing today? the usual. defending the rich against the powerless. that's nice. no it's not. I coulda done something, I don't know, more meaningful. what do you mean? but then I had to go get expelled from angel school. I know. a shame. but your clients love you. I suppose. and they do have loads of money. now go deny some claims. right. after all, it's not christmas, is it. that's the spirit.

welcome, my son. thank you father. you come for the service? um, maybe. we offer food afterward. oh? care to stay? absolutely.

good morning, father. good morning, my son. can you maybe help me out with something? of course. the red candle is taller than the yellow candle. the yellow candle is taller than the blue candle. which candle is tallest? tallest? hmmm. can I see them? I'm afraid not. is there a prize if I get it right? of sorts. you get to consider yourself as smart as Egon. who's that? my pet bird. wow. so, uh, Egon got it right? he did. is he, you know, around? forget it. you can't ask him. bummer.

I'll take it. take what? I'll take this place. what do you want for it? sir, it's not for sale. this is a public university. don't give me that. everything has a price. how much? I see. well, how about 50? 50 thousand? er. . . . right! well, I don't have that kind of cash on me right now. how much do you have? let's see. . . $200. it's yours. really? enjoy. bye. where are you going? my bus is here. I have an. . . appointment. can't miss it. oh, well thank you! it's been a pleasure. a real pleasure.

why're you scratching your head, vern? I can't figure this out. what's that? that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven. the bible says something like that, alright. yeah, except. . . except what? why would a camel want to go through the eye of a needle? it's a metaphor, vern. like jumping the shark. oh. so did the shark try to go through that needle too? I really doubt it, vern. cuz that wouldn't make no sense atall. know what I mean? I do, vern. I totally do.

you wanna get a drink later? can't afford to. I have a meeting. really? talk is cheap. it's with my lawyer. so, not so much.

my liege, the visigoth hordes surround us. call out the archers. man the parapets. we did that, my lord. but they are too many. nonsense. use that boiling oil thingy. pour it on them. yes, lord, we are. but they still surge the walls. well then, call in an air strike. a what? nuke the bastards. nuke them, my lord? never mind. I got that out of a book I found on the internet. the. . . what? forget it. it's nothing we need worry about for another 1000 years or so.

whaddya wanna do, eddie? I dunno, joey. wadda you wanna do? wanna ride the bus to the end of the line and back? that sound like fun to you? not really. ok cool.

hey, curtis, how goes it? life in the big city, man. you know how it is. I do. it's tough. but listen: I'm getting a new shipment of armaments next week. great! the battlements been lookin' a little bare lately. seems to me, it's time to collect some docking fees. you know those big boys are not gonna like it. yeah, but I figure a few well-placed 32-pound cannonballs will bring 'em around. and then the cash flows in, eh? it's fairly foolproof, way I see it. no doubt.

hello lord. didn't expect to find you in here. just cleaning out a few old relics, archangel. things do tend to pile up, don't they. what do you have there? oh, just something I played around with a while ago. I was going to unleash it on earthlings, actually, for failing miserably to make good use of the gifts I've given them. it's kind of fierce looking. what would it have done? well, quite simply, it would have rained death, destruction and chaos on earth, I should think. did you change your mind? well, for awhile there I had hoped humans would evolve into a higher species. worthy of my efforts on their behalf. a higher species? you don't mean. . . yes. hippies. my best work. it looked like things were improving. too bad they didn't last. indeed. so, I've taken a new interest in this. . . fascinating creature. I think I'll let it loose on humans after all. and then what, lord? well, to put it mildly, then the proverbial shit will hit the proverbial fan. sounds like that might be fun. between us celestial beings, archangel. . . yes,lord? having fun is what it's all about.

I got us a new hide-out, boss. it's a penthouse! sounds good, ernie. take the steamer trunks with all the loot and let's go. trunks? ah. . . what's the problem? well, it's just that. . . what? this place is, you know, very secluded. yeah? so? I don't think those trunks are gonna fit inside the. . . the metal ladder cages. the what? you know, the kind that go up the outside of the building, to get to the, ah, you know, penthouse. you mean I gotta climb a ladder to get to this place? you'll love it! it's got great views! yeah? and what about my loot? I don't suppose we got a helicopter?

master, I can't seem to signal the orbiting station. there's too much interference in this building. hmmm. why don't you try going up to the roof? well I would, sire, but these tentacles sort of, you know, stand out. yes, earthlings are quite extremity-impaired, aren't they? indeed, and I'd prefer not to advertise that fact. (sigh.) I hate to give up this luxurious suite. but let's return to the rest of our squad at the aquarium. squad, sire? a squad of squid? good one. ha ha! that wasn't a joke, centurion. no sire. of course not sire.

the firing mechanism is jammed, sir. that's unacceptable, private. it's just that the gun is overheating. lots of targets, eh kid? I've never seen so many! consider yourself lucky to be here. even if it is an alien invasion. but what if they, you know. . . win? then you can consider yourself lunch. don't want that, sir. no, not so much.

dude! heard those warnings? better take cover. what warnings? could be a missile attack! we gotta get to the bunker! they may be using nukes! but I'm not done sorting the cannon balls! forget the damn cannon balls, man! we could get fried standing around out here! that does it! I'm gonna prime the 32-pounder. they won't know what hit 'em. are you listening? a 32-pound cannon ain't gonna stop a damn missile! there's that word again. what's a missile? and. . . . nukes? are you, like, new here? hmm. could be hand-to-hand fighting. better sharpen my bayonet. your what? you got any extra musket powder? can't be too prepared, you know.