Michigan

I wouldn't go in there. whaddya mean? it's a museum. a museum of death. nobody who goes in ever comes out. how do you know? I been in there. hah! and here you are, bullshitting me! no bullshit. it's true. but you made it out fine. no I didn't. I'm dead, man. what? put your hand over my heart. feel a pulse? well, no, but. . . I don't have one. I'm a dead man walking. then why are you here? among the living? I'm the curator of this museum. it's my job. you have a job? and you're dead? don't act surprised. the government needs taxes. after death? bummer isn't it? I was kinda looking forward to no more work. so what are you saying? the only certainties in this world are death and taxes. but not at the same time! I hate to break it to you, but it's true.

men, the British will attack from those trees. we have to hold this perimeter for Gen. Washington. so arm those muskets. keep your powder dry. sir, you have a call. a what? a call on your cell, sir. I think it's HQ. dammit, Peabody, I'm trying to stay in character here! sorry sir. of course, sir. should I cancel the Starbucks run then? what? no! I've been thinking of that latte all morning! very good, sir.

I'm cleaning out that crap in the basement, edna. not my fabulous antiques and artifacts! a fixation with material objects is not healthy, edna. but they mean so much to me! the memories! oh yeah? do you remember when we met? well yes, sort of. what was I wearing? I don't know. your torn levis, like always? did you keep them? no way! me neither.

it's our little spot for peaceful meditation and reflection. what's that music I hear? led zeppelin, why? not so quiet. no, maybe not.

will you please come out now? you've been in there for almost a year. no. I must stay. I'm taking a political stand against the government. what stand? nobody but me even knows you're here. and I can't get home cooking anywhere else like I get from you. so that's what this is really all about? food? in part. it's a culino-political statement. you just made that up, didn't you? not bad for a prisoner of conscience, eh?

wanna go to the market with me? we need a few things. nah, I'm working on a new experiment, and I may be close to a breakthrough. what experiment? you've been lying on the damn couch all day! that's the point. it's all about conservation of energy. a very important principle these days. what about me? I'd like to conserve some energy. sorry, you're not part of the algorithm. maybe the next experiment then? sure. pick me up some ice cream while you're out.

is the lord of the manor home? oh, he's around here somewhere, surveying his domain. well, when he returns, would you let him know that it's time to take out the garbage? with pleasure.

ok boys, here it is. be ready on my signal. there's a signal, boss? yes! we discussed this! oh yeah. boss! where's my mask?!! you're wearing it, you moron. oh. yeah. heh. and stop cracking your fingers. drives me nuts. sorry boss.

man, those McCoys make me mad. what is it now, Vern? just look at 'em. eatin' and drinkin' and carryin' on in public. making complete fools of themselves. it's not like you don't do the same, Vern. but they're such low-lifes! they have no sense of, of . . . what's the word? decency? yeah. decency. why, if I was wearing pants, I'd go right over there and tell them to their face. that would sure show them. you're darn tootin' it would.

counsel for the defense, call your next witness. the defense rests, your honor. oh? are you sure you want to do that? your honor, we believe that the evidence clearly establishes that the defendant could not have been in a corner of the room at the time the crime was committed. not in a corner, you say? just a feeling we have, your honor. well, I don't know, but it's your funeral. or your client's, rather, if you're wrong. thank you for that, your honor. no problem.

it's about this wide. what is? the new TV I want to get. I'm so glad you thought I needed to know that. anytime.

what is this thing? it's top secret. what's it do? it's got a dozen surround-sound speakers inside, for an amazing omni-directional effect. we call it 'the war machine.' how come? we liked that better than 'my pretty pony.' really? it was a tough choice. I bet.

stanley, didn't I ask you to cut the grass in the backyard? I'm having my ladies tea today! I'll get right to it, edna. what have you been waiting for stanley? I can't find my domestic outdoor work outfit! you know how much I like wearing it. oh do hurry, stanley. the canapé trays look magnificent! you're a wonder in the kitchen, edna. that's what the caterer says!

get in. it's time to hit the road. where are we going? as far away from here as possible. yeah? yeah. and if we find trouble, so much the better. I hear that.

whatcha up to, fern? me and bobby joe been out in the field all day. you? just got out of class. whatcha learnin'? oh, physics and stuff. what's physics? we're studying the nature of matter. today we conducted experiments to try and get to absolute zero. absolute zero? now that wouldn't be the grade you got on your last test, would it? ha ha. no, fern. but it might be your IQ. say what now? oh nothin'.

this looks like the place. how do you know? I dunno. it just does. what if it's not? then we are out of luck. on the other hand, if it is, we are in for a big pay day. yeah? we split it? you wish. now drive.

this is where we found him. was he alive? nah. they really did a number on him. got any leads? we think it was one of rico's boys. yeah? so we're thinking carmine might know. yeah, he and rico don't exactly get along. but to do it like this. . . nobody deserves to go that way. not even a low-life useless piece-of-shit punk like this guy. not even him.

hey, is paulie home? who are you? I just need something from paulie, you know. what kind of something? well, it's. . . is he here or not? no, he ain't here. whaddya want? look, I know he keeps his stash here, ok? I don't know what you're talking about. c'mon, I just need a taste. beat it. shit. he's got the best corn on the cob around. keep your voice down. people will hear. just a little. ok? I'm not being greedy. ok, meet me at the corn crib. I knew it! you got a corn crib! ok. ok. but don't tell anyone. your secret's safe with me. I hope so. this is wicked shit. yeah, especially with butter. I know!