• nora likes wiley

    nice kitty. its a horse, daddy. I knew that.

  • survivor

    it's gotta be a signal. from who? obviously, from a civilization far superior to ours. why? it's just a pile of rocks around a piece of wood. ah, but look at it. the form. the function. yeah. a bunch of rocks on a big stick. I bet it's been here from gene…

  • current events

    we'll have to use divers. really? how come? he ain't on the bridge anymore, is he? no, he's not. and you don't see him swimming away. no, I don't. so if we want to find him, we'll have to use divers. damn, that sucks. for who? us, or for him? oh, yeah. go…


  • rock of ages

    I suggest you don't get any closer. why? it's a bunch of rocks. you go over there, you're not coming back. what're you talking about, man? it all started here. it's like a black hole. say what? I'm just telling you. be warned. don't go there. put down the…

  • WAR IS OVER! if you want it

    And so this is Christmas For weak and for strong For rich and the poor ones The world is so wrong And so happy Christmas For black and for white For yellow and red ones Let's stop all the fight A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a…

  • blue monday

    what should we do today, marty? I dunno lenny. what do you want to do today? how about we fire that atlas ICBM missile we found yesterday? ok. then what'll we do after that? I dunno. run like hell, probably. then we better eat first. good idea.


  • tell me no lies

    you got one chance to come clean, bruno. it's here, marcel. I swear it. you better be tellin' the truth. otherwise. . . no, it's true. it's here. I'll find it. it better be soon. ok. gimme a half hour. you got 10 minutes. I suggest you start moving. I go…

  • grim reality

    I hate doing beach patrol. I'm sick of it. what do you mean? it's the best job ever! no, man. I found another drowning victim. do you know who it was? yeah, she might have fallen overboard. gee. why didn't she take a shower on the boat? what? instead she…

  • work of fiction

    here's the coffee you ordered, boss. hey, whatcha writin'? my memoirs. the world needs to hear what I have to say. yeah? what's that? I'm gonna tell 'em the truth. the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I ain't leavin' nothin' out. so, it's fictional…


  • road kill

    I am sick and tired of this ridiculous traffic. me too. but you gotta deal with it. no I don't. not anymore. yeah? how you gonna swing that? you gonna make those cars all disappear? actually, I think I've come up with a way to do exactly that.

  • the frog of war

    sir! the enemy is all around us! just keep firing, private. but sir! I can't see a thing! it's all so dark! is that so? yes sir! it's the fog of war, I guess! the senses can't cope! boy, you got a frog hanging off your helmet. a frog? on my helmet? oh! i…

  • space invader

    hey joey, where ya going? hey paulie, I'm picking up my new ride. wait till you see it. it's a totally sweet machine. ok cool. but joey, do you mind not sticking your face right into mine when you're talking? I mean it's, you know, a little uncomfortable.…


  • gods and monsters

    hello herr doktor, what are you doing out here on the beach? my boy, I am on at the verge of mastering the forces of nature! again? this time I mean it! with my new discovery, all the world will be at my feet! that's great doktor. in the meantime, since y…

  • obsolete

    what are they? old cassette tapes. you made them? yeah. it was an alternative to therapy. how'd that go? not too well, but it was a lot less expensive.

  • the last stand

    here it is, ernie. whaddya think? this? are you serious? oh yeah. couch over here. big-screen tv over there. leon. you can't build a house here! house? who said anything about a house? so what are you talking about? I just said it! I'm putting my couch a…


  • ba'al's ball

    slave! where is my guest list? here, lord ba'al. the invitations have gone out. excellent! this will be the social event of the season! of the decade! indeed, lord. your supplicants are busy with the preparations. and the virgins? are they in readiness? w…

  • machine intelligence

    is this the train to the valley? yes, sir. that's where we're going. ok, good. I can't wait for the wine tasting. temperature's gonna hit at least 120 today, I hear. what? in napa valley? how do grapes grow in such heat? napa valley? ha ha. no, this train…

  • beach bum

    hey, buddy. can you spare a buck? you're panhandling on the beach? weren't you here last year? yeah, I come up ever summer. it's nice here, no? dammit! we're trying to enjoy the sunset! it's a beauty. and for a buck you can enjoy it in peace. and then you…


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