Audrey

Humor


These are drawings, sketches, that might give you a grin when you look at them. Hey, I even laughed out loud when drawing some of them! :-)

Audrey

22 Feb 2013 191
OK, this definitely needs an explanation. A couple of nights ago sitting around drinking a little wine, our friend, Audrey mentioned she used to clean the ice balls out from her dogs' paws but now she just lets them do it themselves. First perhaps I need explain that here in the sub-arctic, many dogs grow a lot of fur between the pads on their paws. Then I need, perhaps, explain that here in the sub-arctic that dogs running/walking in the snow, pick up snow twixt their pads, their body heat melts it and it re-freezes building up large ice balls between the pads causing them to limp. Hey, if you had ice balls the size of New Jersey between your toes, you'd limp too! Well when this happens the dogs will sit and pick out the ice balls with their teeth. So! When Audrey mentioned cleaning the ice from her dogs' paws, the image that leaped in to my mind was of her chewing out the ice balls. Hence I had to draw this quick cartoon of her lovingly taking care of her cutesy wittle puppies. Of course, to protect her reputation, so no one would know it's her, I altered her features significantly so you can't tell it's Audrey Ranstead. :-)

The joy of panting

05 Mar 2013 1 2 206
w/o apologies to Bob Ross. :-) "panting present participle of pant (Verb) Watercolor on 11 by 14 inch Bristol vellum paper.

Ides of April

03 Apr 2013 193
For the information of distant viewers; here in the US Income Tax forms and payments MUST be completed by 15 April. I know it's spring by how light my wallet got! Brushed ink on 12 by 12 inch card stock.

Everybody out of the pool!

16 Nov 2012 1 2 180
I did this at last night's life drawing session, building it from a lot of one and two minute poses. Brushed ink on 11 by 14 inch sketch paper.

Only way to go is up

27 Nov 2012 192
Hum, wonder if I should send this to the 'manhole cover' group. ;-) A 3 a.m. doodle, colored pencil on 12 by 12 inch colored card stock.

Miss Mary Zombie

30 Dec 2012 170
Agatha Christie (1890-1976), with over a billion copies of her books sold in the English language and another billion sold in foreign translations, is often considered the world's best-known mystery writer. One of her heroines, Miss Marple, a little old lady solving murder mysteries that baffle professionals on 27 continents, by noting similarities twix the murder and the postman/greengrocer/vicar/etc. (take you pick) back in her quiet home village, Middlesomethingonthesomethingorotherdowns, but… I know your been asking yourself that burning question; if she were writing today would what she writes be mysteries or something more germane and in tune with life as we now know it, like maybe zombie apocalypse stories and if so.. just what would Miss Marple look like if she were a zombie? Hey I know the question has been keeping ME awake at night! :-) So! Now that I've finished the above sketch of her as a zombie, you and I can both rest easy. -grin- Soft pastels on 12 by 12 inch colored card stock.

Welcome to the future!

01 Jan 2012 186
Marker on 12 by 12 inch card stock.

Change?

31 Dec 2011 151
Happy New Year's Eve from the top of the world! Marker on 12 by 12 inch card stock

NV

30 Jan 2012 136
OK, I couldn't resist doing this quick cartoon. My friend, from over on Flickr posted this tweet: Nevada Gutierrez @SealWhiskers Reply Retweeted Favorite · Open : "Just great. My stomach was growling & husband thought the noise was coming from coyotes in a field behind our house." -GRIN!_

EDM Challenge #323

23 Oct 2011 1 137
Draw something sad. Oh... how sad!! ;-) Marker on 12 by 12 inch colored card stock.

Happy Halloween!

24 Oct 2011 1 162
Marker on 12 by 12 inch colored card stock.

OMG The Fox Is In The Henhouse!!

02 Oct 2011 1 1 189
or: (a) Welcome to the 21st. century! (b) Carpe gallinam! ( c) Two legs good, 12 gauge better! (d) Once upon a time… (e) or, of course, whatever you want it to be. Mixed media: Watercolor, ink, Neocolor II © crayon and soft pastel on 12 by 12 inch colored card stock.

The shortest distance between two pints

04 Oct 2011 1 164
is a ....... Marker and soft pastel on 12 by 12 inch card stock.

EDM #301 Draw something cute

15 Oct 2011 1 150
For Every Day Matters weekly challenges. Challenge number 301 was; 'Draw something cute.' Hey what could be cuter than a witty bitty baby playing with his cutse wootsy kitty? :-) Marker and pen on 12 by 12 inch card stock.

Remember to fall back

06 Nov 2011 271
Here in the US twice a year we reset our clocks, in the spring one hour ahead to "better utilize the available daylight hours", in the very late fall back to standard time. A silly exercise, especially here in Alaska with 24 hours of daylight during the summer, -but none the less… And… since I didn't follow the law (The Energy Policy Act of 2005) and set my clocks back last night I awoke at six a.m. and found it to really be 5 a.m! Actually the sketch above is based on a true happening; Some years back a local bar owner on closing for the night told his mucker (guy that cleans up after closing): "Joe, remember to move the clock back tonight, because of the daylight savings time change." He meant, of course, for Joe to move/set the clock back one hour. Well the next morning when he came in he found that Joe had done just like he'd told him to, he'd taken the clock down and put it back up, moving it five feet back down the bar! No, he hadn't changed the time. Marker on 12 by 12 inch card stock.

The statement

22 Oct 2011 161
Marker on 12 by 12 inch card stock

Weather or not

30 Oct 2011 138
Portrait of Algore (not for Julia Kay's portrait party!) :-) Marker and pastels on 12 by 12 inch card stock.

A mess made in heaven

04 Nov 2011 153
So! I was driving down the road the other day, listening to the radio, when a commercial came on. I don't remember what they were selling but the punch line was "a match made in heaven". Around then I was passing a liquor store with a big 'beer sale' sign outside (No it wasn't Ballentine Ale) and the image popped in to my mind of a cozy couple celebrating 'Ballentine's Day'. Hence this little sketch. :-) Remember children, this is a cartoon, only a cartoon after you are over twenty one, and only after you are twenty one, never ever before, marry and drink responsively! :-) Ink (Sakura's Pigma Sensei 03 pen) on 12 by 12 inch card stock.

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