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Department of Homeland Stupidity
Department of Homeland Security
border control
God Bless America
United States of America
United States
Customs and Border Protection

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U.S. Department of Homeland Stupidity

U.S. Department of Homeland Stupidity
No trip to the U.S. by a foreign visitor can be completed without a jab towrds the U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) and the U.S. Department of Homeland Stupidity. What? You meant it's called Homeland Security?

If you don't want to read the whole thing, just read the italic part.

This is what actually happened to me on 2009-11-28 at around 11 P.M. at the Niagara Falls or Fort Erie border control (I couldn't tell where we were, I didn't have a window seat).

Immigration officer Mr. Stupidly-Rude: What is the purpose of your visit to the States?

Me: To visit my brother and do some sightseeing.

Mr. Stupidly-Rude: Where does he [my brother] live?

Me: Tarrytown, White Plains.

Mr. Stupidly-Rude: What's his address?

Me: 177 XX Road, Apartment XX, Tarrytown.

Mr. Stupidly-Rude: What do you do in Toronto?

Me: I work for a pension plan.

Mr. Stupidly-Rude: Say what?

Me (louder): A pension plan.

Mr. Stupidly-Rude: Which one?

Me: XX Pension Plan (FYI: it's one of the largest in North America).

Mr. Stupidly-Rude: What accounts do you maintain?

Me: What do you mean by... what accounts??

Mr. Stupidly-Rude [in a sreaming voice]: I MEANT, DO YOU MAINTAIN AN ACCOUNT FOR AL-QAEDA OR SOMEONE NAMED OSAMA BIN LADEN?! Understand it now? [No, he wasn't joking.]

Me [speechlessly shocked and insulted]: In my head I was thinking: Well, I don't, but you guys should check to see if Bank(uptcy) of America, Shittybank NA, or Craze Manhattan Bank financed Suddam Hussein and Bin Laden when America USED TO BE FRIENDS with them 25 years ago. Alas, but I do need to take my mom, uncle and aunt to New York, so I muttered: No, I don't invest for Al-Qaeda.

Does that obese, rude and stupid border guard seriously think that a Bin Laden collaborator would answer Yes to his inquiry? This is what the U.S. calls Homeland Security eh?

GOD BLESS AMERICA indeed! No wonder they ask for God's help in all matters!