Pictures for Pam, Day 189: PAM WILL BE BACK

(+3 insets)

I began my Pictures for Pam project allllllll the way back on November 8, 2018. It seems like a million years ago. At the time I was in a very low place. Unhappy, confused about my life and my direction. I'd stopped taking pictures a long time before and had absolutely no creative energy whatsoever.

One day I was stumbling around on the web and thought I'd glance at ipernity. Even that place depressed me deeply because it was failing badly and plans seemed eminent that it would be shut down, leaving me with no place at all for my photos online. Not that it mattered. I really didn't care about much of anything at that point.

Noticing I had mail, I found a message from Peggy C, letting me know that my dear friend, Pam Johnson, had an stroke in September and was on a very slow mend. I just about fell over...WHAT?!!! NOOO!!! PAM???!!! It couldn't be! But alas, as I read and visited different pages, these terrible fears were confirmed. I was in total shock. Last time I was on ipernity, all was well with Pam's world. How instantly things can change.

That day was a mess of emotions and sadness as I tried to make sense of it all. What could I do to share my compassion and express my sorrow for what had happened to my friend?

The next morning I was doing my usual hourly trek up and down my driveway and all I could do was think about Pam and how to express my feelings adequately. I thought, "What if I send her a picture and a note?" That sounded good but the problem was that I didn't WANT to take pictures. I didn't want to do ANYTHING. My creative pool wasn't even ZERO. It was NEGATIVE. I walked up and down, grumbling.

The fact of the matter was that it would do me good to pick up my camera. The best thing to do in a deep depression is ANYTHING POSITIVE to get the gears grinding forward, if even just a bit. What better reason could there be than to take a picture for a friend who was ailing? It would be good for both of us. If only I could kick my *** into gear.

Just thinking about photography got my hibernating creative eye slowly opening. I couldn't help but notice the light shining through the grass and empty seed pods here and there. By the end of my walk, I'd managed to convince myself to try. I went into the house, dusted off my camera, put in a fresh battery, checked for a memory card and stepped outside. I went over to the dead plants I'd seen earlier and stared at the way the light shone through the remains of the seed cases...gee that was pretty, wasn't it? I took pictures. It was so weird to be doing this again. For the first time in a while, something felt right. Maybe this WAS a good idea after all.

Posting my picture that day, I added a message to say that I would be working on a new project, "Pictures for Pam", where I would post a picture every day to give Pam some love and support.

It was so nice to learn that Pam was touched by my gesture and at the same time, the ipernity community welcomed me back with open arms. I had forgotten how much I loved ipernity and all of the wonderful people who I knew there. It was wonderful to feel so cared-about, even though my intent was to express my affection and support for my friend Pam.

Soon it was suggested that I create a public group so that everyone could contribute their support for Pam through pictures. Within a week of beginning my project, the ipernity group, "Pictures for Pam" was born. As I type today, there are 77 members and just under 3700 pictures there now, all aimed at making our dear friend know that she is loved, cared about, and in our thoughts. It's amazing.

I really didn't think about this project seriously at the time, but the fact is that I'd begun another 365 Project, and it's been a really cool experience. Sometimes I post pictures taken that day, sometimes they are from my archives. It's all good. And every one has something just for Pam to read and enjoy. Additionally, it's so wonderful to visit contacts and find that they've dedicated that day's picture to Pam. How awesome to be part of a group of people who are so warm and caring.

Over the days, weeks and months of working on this project, I have totally changed, thanks to Pam. From an extremely depressed person, I quickly turned around and woke up again. Everything in my life got better and better. Today I am an improved version of myself when I was at my best. Full of excitement and creativity bubbling over from every pore. Life is good...no...GREAT! As I sit typing, Steve and I are realizing a dream we've had for many years...travelling in a RV trailer! It's been amazing and we've only just begun our adventures.

The bummer is that Pam is still ailing. However, our support means the world to her. Our daily contributions to the group that's dedicated to her means so much to her. And of course she and I exchange notes every day, mostly in our photo comments, but sometimes in letters too.

After returning from our last trip, Pam asked where we would be headed next and when I told her we'd be at the Oregon coast, she asked me to do something for her. She asked me to write in the sand with a stick, "PAM WILL BE BACK". I told her we would make that happen for her the moment we found ourselves on a beach.

Yesterday we walked out onto the beach in Crescent City and the first thing I thought of was the promise I made to Pam. Steve grabbed a stick and carefully scrawled out her message in the sand and we took pictures with the Battery Point Lighthouse in the background. Perfect.

Pam, I hope that you get to visit the ocean again sometime soon...we sure do hope this message gets to the right entities out there and it helps speed things along because we know how much you love the sea. For now, we're sending our virtual hugs too and you are in our thoughts of course!

(I am also including two flowers picture I captured in the meadow next to our RV yesterday morning and also a picture of our truck and trailer at our campsite!) :)

Explored on 5/18/19; highest placement #4.