Just been holding my nose and half squinting through one eye as I tackled the horrors of Himself's weekly liver and bacon casserole...actually, I don't think he had one last week...can't remember though, not that it matters in the slightest.
I wonder who saw a chicken laying an egg and decided that would be yummy, boiled for three minutes and served with hot toast fingers and butter. With a nice cup of tea. And an almond slice for afters.
There must have been a time when a chap sitting on a sun-kissed slope in Ceylon had a brainwave...I'll grow tea he thought to himself and sell it in packets and everyone will buy it...then I can retire and go on a cruise.
And how did people find out eating mussels whose shells stayed open was not a good idea...how did they know it was the open shells and not the closed shells that had them squatting behind a bush all night. Perhaps they experimented...when that bloke with the really big crannog comes over, just see what happens if you only give him the mussels with the open shells...ah...he seems to be dead. From now on we'll only eat the ones that don't open in surprise when they're dropped into boiling water. Don't want to end up like your man there...dead as a door nail and him with the biggest crannog on the lough.
Milk is another good one...somebody must have yanked on a cows teat to see what happened and hey presto, liquid to pour on your breakfast cornflakes.
It must have taken a long period of time to perfect the art of milking a cow...of teaching others that skill and then it travelling the length and breadth of the country...across the seas perhaps, to other lands, to discover they had learned that art hundreds of years before...or had they? Did that type of knowledge...we'll stay with milking a cow...arise more or less at the same time among all the peoples of the world...
And if those people didn't have cows, then they milked yak and camels and goats...sheep and horses as well. So did a Tibetan living on a rocky mountainside on the roof of the world learn about milking his yaks from a traveller who just returned from Europe...or would he have laughed and said his people had been milking their yaks for the past thousand years...
Perhaps I ought to have stayed in bed this morning after all.