Nearly finished the book case...not quite...but only a little bit left to do and the next time it needs painting I'm ripping it off the wall and leaving the books in little heaps all over the floor! Permantly...that isn't spelt properly...looks wrong...but never mind.

It's poured with rain for the entire day day and it's been decidely chilly as well...I've been closing the back door between the dogs going in and out endlessly...the minute the door is closed they panic and stand beside it with their legs crossed 'cos they need to pee now this minute...or there's a mad axe man in the yard and they'd heard him creeping about and need to go and bite his ankles....when the door stands wide open they are all fast asleep.

Himself went down to Paddys this afternoon to help him move some cows and Paddy told him that Jonnys wife has breast cancer...she's only a young woman...she is Paddy's daughter-in-law and a quiet, homely sort of a girl. She's had the original lump removed and a piece of fat taken from her back inserted in her breast...like a sort of reconstruction. She is expected to make a full recovery, but it's awful all the same.

And it's made me have a think about all those people who seem to simply waste their lives...another neighbour has the same condition as me...she stays in bed all day long and her son comes to do her cooking and housework for her. She is slightly younger than me but more or less gave up on life when her husband died twenty odd years ago...even when she was well she only watched the soaps on television and I gave up visiting her ages ago because she'd have one eye on the television so I felt I was chatting away to myself...

There are those who commit stupid senseless crimes and go to prison for years...sex offenders who are going to spend the rest of their worthless lives on the sex offenders register and be a burden to the rest of us with their allowances and treatment programmes...

I relish every single waking moment...maybe I can't walk far but I can use my trike...perhaps I can't lift a heavy bag of potatoes but I can ask Asif to put them in my shopping trolley for me...I can't run up slopes or steps but I can walk up them slowly...every single day brings some unexpected pleasure...a tiny wren sitting on the window sill...an emerald dragon fly in the garden...a decent programme to watch on television in the evening...finding another interesting ancestor...the smell of a fruit cake cooking...lighting the table lamps we have dotted around on dark evenings...recieving a proper letter...

And of course I grumble and mutter and complain when I can scarcely bend enough enough in the middle to paint my toe nails or climbing up and down that feckin' step ladder makes my knees ache...and when my hair needs cutting and I keep forgetting hairdressers close on Mondays like it's the only day I possibly feel like going to listen to an hours worth of drivel...

I'm no Pollyanna...but I'm aware life is brief enough in the scheme of things and I'll be dammed if I'm going to waste one minute of it...there is so much to know...so much to learn, so much to discover, turning over a log of wood in the garden will keep me occupied for ages...watching centipedes and big black beetles and all the little creatures which have made that place their own....standing outside shivering on a cold and frosty night while Eilis has a last pee and looking up at the stars...good books to read and music to listen to...

But I'll never squander nor waste the life I have for isn't that simply an insult to those who have little of their lives left...