I don't like my laptop...think it's horrid. Only have to move the cursor just a teeny-weeny bit and away it goes onto something I don't want, don't like and can't get rid of...and it's always feckin' updating. There I'll be pratting about on Ancestry and it stops dead in the middle of adding a record. It doesn't say beforehand...erm, actually, there is an update due so if you wouldn't mind? Oh no, it simply stops. So I have to go back to the beginning and install the silly update and then start right from stratch by which time I've totally forgotten where I was and have lost interest anyway and just want a cup of coffee...
Then when I put it on it rather grandly announces that Google Chrome didn't shut down correctly...like it's my fault. Not my concern matey, if stupid Google Chrome doesn't shut down correctly...that's entirely up to you...you are the computor I'm just the eejit who swears and curses and throws her hands in the air in utter despair when you don't work feckin properly...
And it's so mean over my photographs...they are my photos...they don't belong to the bloody laptop but when I want to look at one...or heaven forbid...print one off...it plays silly beggars and digs it's heels in and won't let me have them and then it sulks and demands another update and I think longingly of the old decrepit desktop that did everything I asked and was always polite and well-mannered and behaved impeccably and only did updates ever so quietly so as I'd hardly notice and didn't mind in the slightest when I wanted a quick look at my photos...
Himself cleaned the top of the cooker today. He said...'Will I clean the top of the cooker for you?' and I'd have quite liked to have throttled him actually...for me? Excuse me? That cooker cooks his supper just as much as it cooks mine...
I don't sweep grandly into the sittingroom and announce I've just scrubbed the toilet or cleaned the tidemark off the bath or ironed the pillowcases...'for you'...maybe I ought to...I'll begin by saying 'Will I scrub the toilet for you?' and wait to see what he says...
Then there is the 'I'll take you...I say I'd like to change my library books...Himself says...'I'll take you then' usually accompanied by a heavy heartfelt sigh...why doesn't he just say 'Ok, we'll go this afternoon'...
Drives me potty so it does....
And I announce I want proper curtains for the sitting-room...I don't want dyed sheets held up by a bamboo cane from the garden actually...I want proper curtains on a proper pole that glides together effortlessly rather than falling on the floor everytime you try to draw the feckin' things...and so Himself looked awful sad and mumbled about the cost and quick as that I had all the facts and figures to hand and he had to 'fess up it wasn't so alarming a cost after all...
I want a bit of comfort I said...I'm in my very early Sixties I said...I need proper curtains I said...and he sort of muttered and said 'oh, alright then'
I swear to god the man would live in a turf cabin with a bloody pig and chickens on the floor...so he would.
Then I said I was going to paint the sitting room 'cos it's grubby and looks down at heel and scruffy altogether and he sighed a heavy sigh and said was I going to do the bookshelves and I said I probably would and he sighed another sigh and all he has to do is live with with a few cardboard boxes for a week while I do all the work...
Better go and cook the supper then...