Before you get all over excited about knowing moi...who has the Kings of England in her ancestry...remember that they are pretty remote ancestors and there are around one hundred and twenty other people on Ancestry who also lay claim to having William and his kin in their family history as well...
And some of those people take it extremely seriously indeed and have written reams about who is connected to who and battles and suchlike and all I do is choose those who haven't announced that Queen Matilda died in Arkanas because I think they are pretty daft...but weed them out and I find people who have researched well...often it's only information they've gleaned from Wikipedia but it can be checked and double checked and that is where the time comes in to ensure whatever I add is as accurate as it can be.
The working out of who is a third cousin twice removed still has me puzzled...I looked it up and found graphs and suchlike and it was like double-dutch to me...you might find it easier to understand.
But enough of the long gone relatives....
I have decided to live in a stone castle with straw on the floor...after getting Himself to pull the washing machine and the 'fridge away from the wall this morning and finding dozens of neat little parcels of dead things that the spiders wrap up to save for later and dust bunnies and just plain grot and spending most of the morning on my knees...again...and then not being able to breathe properly 'cos my lungs were all squashed up and scrubbing away like a demon and wondering why I feckin' bother when it'll be just the same next month and the month after...having a minion to simply put a load of clean straw on the floor when the other gets a bit wet and smelly seems to me like an excellent idea...I bet no-one scrubbed behind their 'fridges in 1020 or worried too much about an excessive number of spiders with long legs and beady eyes...
Then, to add insult to injury Himself said, those shelves come out. What shelves? The shelves in the new cupboard he says...you could have taken them out to save struggling with the Fablon yesterday...excuse me? He watched me while I had my head in the cupboard and fought with the Fablon and the scalpel and the scissors...then when it's all done and finished and I have the need to pour a large glass of wine and collapse in a soggy heap on the settee...then he tells me the shelves will simply slide out...not a bother on them.
Don't suppose putting brand new Fablon on her kitchen shelves ever occurred to Maud/Matilda...
And then it dawned on me that because we'd moved the dresser from the kitchen to the sitting room it had left a grubby wall behind...why do walls look grubby once you move a bit of furniture 'cos they do...every time. And Himself said ...well, you could paint it. So I bought a tin of paint which is called Land Army Green...it is honestly...the blurb on the tin says the colours are taken from...Art, Media and History...but it is one of those paints that doesn't smell and the colour is nice actually...well, I like it. So I painted behind the washing machine and the 'fridge and have loads to do yet and I had a brief thought that if one was to live in a stone castle you'd never have to make the trip to Homebase and choose paint and fall about giggling hysterically at the price of the Farrow and Ball paint and go for the Berger instead...
After a morning of scrabbling about on my knees again and wielding paintbrushes I retreated into my workroom and cut up a Jelly Roll to finally make an actual quilt...my quilts end up as table toppers and placemats and bags simply because I want to make something quickly...but this time it'll really be a quilt following the Snakes and Ladders pattern...loads of measuring and cutting but it looks good when it's all put together...the sun came out and I had to come indoors after a while 'cos it was simply too hot.
Don't suppose Matilda/Maud had much time to sew...she seemed to be scheming up devilish plots to oust those she didn't much care for from their lofty positions...and having endless babies.
Shouldn't think Robin Hood worried about moving his furniture from one room to another either and I'd be willing to bet good money he didn't stand in front of a shelf of emulsion wondering what colour to have...or have a bored check-out lad ask if he had a loyalty card. He was far too busy robbing people and batting his eyelashes at Maid Marian...
So the next time I see an ancient stone castle for sale...in need of some restoration...electricity connected but septic tank requires attention...I'm going to make them an offer and I'll get Michael to deliver a few bales of straw and employ some local village people and I'll sit in a turret while the minions cook the meals and put clean straw down in the dining hall and I'll take the hounds on long walks through the forest and never scrub the floor behind the washing machine ever again...