It's the tiredness which does for me you know...not being able to breathe is a pain...having back ache is a feckin nuisance...but being totally knackered after half an hour in the garden really pisses me off big time. It isn't a proper sort of tiredness if you get my drift...it's an over-whelming feeling of a wet dish cloth left too long by the sink sort of tiredness.

I only weeded the front flower bed which isn't very big...and then I planted the rest of the pansies out...not exactly strenuous.

And the horror of it is, that it's crept up behind me when I wasn't paying attention...

Once I could bike for miles down the bog roads and walk to the village over the fields without a bother on me...now the thought of walking as far as Michaels gate fills me with horror and I decide I don't really want to go anyway...time was I could walk all round the big field picking blackberries and then come home and make jams and jellies and pies and still stay up until the small hours watching a film.

Now I look at the television programmes and anything after nine o'clock is out unless it is so interesting or important I'd be a fool not to struggle to stay awake long enough to watch it...

It is insidious...this COPD...you begin to wonder whether it might be a good idea to have a shower installed...you have a small panic if you can't find your walking stick or if the wind is cold or you debate about cutting your toenails because bending over at the waist squashes your lungs up and then it's a case of chopping away hastily and praying you don't get in-growing toe nails or cut bits off which ought to be left well alone...

And your face begins to sort of pinch up so you look like a bad-tempered weasel 'cos all your effort goes into breathing in and then out again and some eejit suggests you could make good money on one of those heavy breathing sex lines and you are so not amused...

Every item of clothing has to have a pocket for your inhaler and you get oral thrush and nasty little sore bits on your gums and your tongue is so revolting you never stick it out for the Doctor anymore 'cos he doesn't dare ask you to...not after the last time. And the box says to rinse your mouth out with clean water and it simply doesn't work, neither do those spacer things which just fog up and look slightly rude.

Then you have the worry of turning into a blob. Sitting about in front of the computor is all very well but you know you ought to be making an effort to exercise and you find yourself Googling how much energy it takes to hoover the floor and think that's alright then...done my exercise for the day.

Don't mind me...just wondering whether I have enough energy to go and peel some potatoes